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'General Hospital' recap: The Queen of the Damned

Season 51 | Episodes 169–173 | Aired Dec 1-5, 2014

Over the years, General Hospital has conditioned viewers to accept many things. From weather control to an alien, we have been conditioned to accept the inexplicable. From that perspective, is there anything that unusual about a faux unveiling, mind control, and an immortal grandmother?

For three glorious episodes, Luke Spencer reunites with his loved ones. Luke fills them in on his nearly yearlong imprisonment at Miscavige. Everyone is horrified, especially Tracy, who is disgusted to realize she not only married, but slept with an impostor. Lulu brings up Larry’s flash drive, with the mask design, and all eyes turn to Lord Ashton. Larry beats a hasty retreat to an awaiting getaway car. Luke demands that Julian be arrested for his role in keeping him prisoner all these months.

Julian is a little busy, as Fluke has shown up at his door with a gun (and a never-before-heard slight accent), ready for retribution. Anna and Dante burst in, and Anna goes right for the unveiling. The mask comes off to reveal (drumroll, please) … Cesar Faison. Yes, the same man who has loved Anna for years wore a Duke mask, was complicit in Robin’s abduction, and has finally just pledged his love to Obrecht. Anna cannot hide her disgust, especially as Faison pins the blame for all of his misdeeds squarely at her feet, declaring that he is over his lifelong obsession with her.

And off to jail Faison goes. He demands his one phone call and … in the Quartermaine living room, Luke is conveniently alone when a burner phone rings from its fireplace hiding spot. Luke answers it and tells Faison that all the idiots are none the wiser! Yep, unmasked Fluke/Faison isn’t the real Fluke! Fluke pays a relocated and bound Luke Spencer a visit, boasting how everyone has accepted him with open arms. Fluke still refuses to reveal his identity, only admitting that he is not wearing a mask. So is he a look-alike (Bill Eckert?) or the recipient of amazing plastic surgery?

After clearly pulling a Miscavige switcheroo with the real Luke, Helena Cassadine is making her presence felt all over Port Charles. She lets Obrecht know that Faison’s imprisonment will be short-lived, so prepare for departure. Jason/Jake sees her undead announcement in the paper and lets Elizabeth know that Helena was the surprise Thanksgiving visitor. Elizabeth gives him a bit of her psycho background, and then Jason/Jake heads off to look for gainful employment, despite Elizabeth’s offer to let him stay at her house, rent-free. But he finds himself on the docks, just in time to meet up with Helena.

Helena tells Jason/Jake that he works for her, and he is rightfully confused. And … here comes the exposition! Apparently, while recovering at Crichton-Clark Clinic, Helena opted to use the mind-control techniques she had used on the previously undead Lucky, which she has now perfected. Helena drops the bombshell that he is Jason Morgan, but she has the power to make him forget all that she has just told him. Do you think she can also make him cluck like a chicken? Helena has grand plans for Jason’s talents, presumably as a hit man and not a med-school dropout. Jason runs off to find Sam, but will he remember by the time he finds her?

Sam and Patrick make their way to the precinct to confront Faison. Sam blasts him for shooting Jason and causing Patrick’s car accident. And while Faison almost gleefully admits to the first crime, he is quick to point the finger at Victor for Gabriel’s death. Sam is confused as to what motive Victor could have, so Faison tells her that Jason didn’t die, but she should direct her questions to Patrick.

Outside of the interrogation room, Sam asks Patrick what Faison meant. Patrick comes clean about everything, from Jason’s not-actual-then-actual death to Victor’s blackmail of Robin. Sam is distraught, bemoaning that she might have been able to see Jason one last time when she was at Crichton-Clark with Silas. Disregarding the fact that Patrick didn’t know that Robin/Jason were there until months later, Patrick still accepts responsibility and asks Sam to forgive him. But Sam wants nothing to do with Patrick, sending him away. She watches as Faison is led away, but is suddenly grabbed by a ski-masked man from behind.

At Pentonville, Sonny gets to spend some time in the prison yard sitting on a bench. He comes across Carlos, who is stilled jailed for his fraudulent confession to A.J.’s murder. Carlos gloats that he is being released, but advises that Sonny best watch his back, as there are already Corinthos enemies discussing retribution. Sonny ponders this and looks up to see his old nemesis, Johnny Zacchara, standing in front of him!

Elsewhere in Port Charles …

  • Britt confesses to Nikolas that she was in cahoots with Spencer during his summer runaway escapades. Nikolas kicks Britt out, informing her that they are never ever ever getting back together and that he is pursuing child endangerment charges. Nikolas lets Spencer know that Britt is really gone, and Spencer lashes out, telling Nikolas that he hates him. Britt has a moment of bestie bonding time with Brad and then accepts her mother’s offer to leave town forever.
  • Alexis fills Molly in on Fluke and says that Molly was right about Ric’s innocence. Molly is rightfully furious that nobody, including her mother, believed her claims that Ric was not involved in Julian’s organization. Alexis makes her way back to the precinct, where Anna lets her know that Ric is alive.
  • A quick call to Kiki clues Silas into the fact that he’s helping a murderer (Ava) flee from law enforcement. Ava continues to play the Sonny revenge card, insisting that she will be killed in jail. She begs Silas not to turn her in before she finds her missing daughter. Using logic that escapes reason, Silas agrees to stay with Ava until the baby is located.
  • Speaking of said baby, Franco and Nina decide to form an unconventional family and stay on the run with the baby. Opting against some unusual choices, Nina offers to name the baby after her brother, James, and the Bionic Woman. So for now, meet baby Jamie and her police-wanted pseudo parents.

With that, the week comes to a close with many, many unanswered questions. What is Helena’s grand plan? Will Faison escape custody and disappear with Obrecht and Britt? What does Johnny have in store for Sonny? Will Jason remember that he is Jason? And, for the love of never-ending plotlines, WHO IS FLUKE?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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