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'Elementary' recap: Protegees, they grow up so fast

Season 3 | Episode 6 | “Terra Pericolosa” | Aired Dec 4, 2014

Cartographic forgeries, Indian casinos, and Internet catfish make for one twisty episode of Elementary as Holmes, Watson, and Winter chase down a killer.

The case begins when Kitty is sent to the library to investigate a burglary of rare maps. The curator assumes it was an inside job by one of his guards and hopes to keep the whole matter hush-hush. But when Kitty finds the guard’s body stuffed inside a display case, burglary switches to murder and our friends at the NYPD are called in.

“Her first hidden corpse,” Detective Bell tells Sherlock. “You must be proud.”

“You jest, but indeed I am,” Sherlock replies.

Proud, but also protective, as Sherlock spends most of the episode thwarting the attempts of one of Kitty’s suitors. But we’ll get to that later.

Holmes believes the burglar’s true target was a single, rare map of King James County in Virginia circa 1794. The map was loaned to the library by the wealthy Bray family, and with the help of Margaret Bray (Mamie Gummer) Sherlock is able to learn of other thefts of rare items that were never reported to the police.

Before each theft, a visitor signed in to the logs under the name René Duchez, the man who stole Germany’s plans for the Atlantic Wall during World War II. That connection leads our detectives to a frame shop in Brooklyn named after the Atlantic Wall and, upon arrival, they find the owner and burglary/murder suspect dead with the stolen map nearby.

Except the map is a fake, printed with ink from the 1940s. Perhaps the buyer realized it was a forgery and killed the burglar? In that case, they would still be looking for the original.

Throughout all of this, Sherlock is cockblocking a young man named Zachary who has a crush on Kitty. They met at a coffee shop, but every time she plans to meet up with him Sherlock sends her on an errand.

Watson insists that Holmes allow Kitty to have a personal life. But his actions are not entirely selfish, he says—they are motivated by a desire to protect Kitty from harm.

Sherlock’s tactic for finding the map buyer is also unconventional. He fabricates the online persona of Amber1776, a blond, beautiful woman who enjoys water sports and people who don’t suck, in order to chat with a collector looking for his own copy of the stolen King James County map.

“You’re a honey trap?” Watson jabs.

“I’m a patriot!” he replies.

Sherlock finds his man, who recently sold his partially completed atlas to real estate magnate William Hull. But when Hull attempts to hire Holmes and Watson to find the map for him, Sherlock becomes convinced that there is information on the true map that may have been motive for murder.

Sherlock later realizes that it’s not how the maps differ from each other, but rather how they differ from the current layout of King James County. A river marking the boundary of an Indian reservation has shifted since the map’s creation. If the true map were found, it could be used as evidence in court to shut down development of a new casino, since the construction site actually rests outside the reservation’s sovereign jurisdiction.

William Hull would love to see the casino shut down, but he had no reason to steal the map, Holmes says. Hull could have scuttled the construction by issuing a court subpoena. And the chairman of the Algonquin Gaming Commission says that when the map turned out to be a forgery, it saved them the trouble of planting a forgery of their own.

That just leaves Margaret Bray, whose family stood to bathe in money like Scrooge McDuck after construction of the casino. She hired a forger to duplicate the map, killed the burglar, and intentionally left the fake behind. The library’s copy would appear as though it had been false all along, making it moot as a piece of historical evidence.

But if you’re a criminal forger, why make one copy when you can make two and keep the priceless original for yourself? Which he did, and made a deal with the NYPD when they came knocking. And the original, of course, is covered in Margaret’s fingerprints.

Case solved, Holmes faces up to his interference in Kitty’s romantic life. But Kitty tells him that she was afraid as well and glad to have Sherlock’s protection. The episode ends with Sherlock telling Kitty to invite Zachary along on a sort of chaperoned date to a bug exhibit, which I’m sure is exactly what Zachary was hoping for.

Stray thoughts:

  • “When I left he was waxing his singlestick,” Kitty says of Sherlock. “Sorry, that’s not a euphemism.” It’s that kind of highbrow, lowbrow comedic blend that makes me love this show.
  • At one point Sherlock tells Watson to “get your own protégé.” Please, Elementary writers, don’t do that. I’m just starting to be okay with Kitty.
  • The title of this week’s episode is “Terra Pericolosa,” or “Dangerous Land” in Italian. Why an Italian translation was applied to a case about a disputed Indian casino in Virginia eludes me. [Ed.: Actually Ben, “Terra Pericolosa” is a cartography term used to alert travelers about dangerous regions.]

Elementary airs Thursdays at 10/9C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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