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Snarky is the new black on 'House of DVF'

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “The Frontline of Fashion” | Aired Nov 30, 2014

We were left in suspense last week on House of DVF about which lady was going home. It was between Jinna and Abigail, and we saw the worst of both girls.

“The Frontline of Fashion” opens with the DVF sit-down the girls dread every week. DVF starts the exit interview but becomes frustrated with the girls when their answers are flip. Both Jinna and Abigail try to make their case to Diane, but Jinna’s public drunkenness can’t be ignored. Diane dismisses Jinna because she “doesn’t know how to behave publicly.” Jinna begs a little, but DVF isn’t moved enough to change her decision. Jinna breaks down and throws a tantrum, but pulls it together long enough to say goodbye to the girls.

Tensions are high after being scolded by DVF.

The next day, the ladies spend some time in the DVF store and compete to rack up the highest sales. Both Abigail and Amanda get difficult customers, but Amanda really excels at making her customers happy. In fact, Amanda and Lenore are neck and neck in their numbers, but when Lenore gets a DVF executive’s wife and daughter, Amanda tries to poach them.

In an extremely awkward moment, Amanda and Lenore exchange heated words in front of the customers, and Amanda winds up taking over the sale. Of course Lenore is angry, but doesn’t really express it until she sits down to dinner with her family later that evening. She complains and complains, and her family is adorable in how invested they are in her drama. Her dad compares her to Rocky, telling her, “You’re gonna go the distance.”

Next, as the ladies dress the mannequins, they hear the telltale click-clack coming down the stairs. They know they are about to receive the results from the previous day’s sales challenge straight from DVF herself. Lenore tells her story of woe about Amanda’s interference, but DVF takes Amanda’s side, even though Lenore winds up winning the challenge. Abigail, on the other hand, was so far behind in the numbers that Diane and the team start to realize it “will be difficult for [her] to sale the brand.” Diane fires her on the spot. At least DVF has the decency to hide the goodbye bag until she delivers the news.

Once the fat is trimmed, Diane assigns the girls a social media experiment. The girls are instructed to take pictures of women on the street that are effortless, sexy, and on the go. Kier feels confident this is her wheelhouse, but Amanda has other ideas. The teams approach a lot of women on the street, and come back to try to narrow down the search. Kier campaigns so hard for her candidate that she winds up insulting single moms everywhere. It is absolutely NOT her finest moment. Her campaigning works, however, and they call Kier’s candidate to chat.

Kier’s candidate turns out to be a giant dud, so the girls are scrambling at the last minute to fix the problem. Brittany salvages the challenge, but it quickly devolves into a nightmare. All the personalities start to really clash and the bickering bubbles over. There is a bitch-off between Brittany and Kier, and I find it all so exasperating. Brittany is really giving Kier a run for her money for the “bitch of the group” title.

The girls get back to the showroom and things really go south. Each girl gets to direct a photo shoot for her own look, and each has a unique directorial style. Kier’s is clipped and pointed, and everyone spends their time rolling their eyes. When it’s Amanda’s turn, Kier tries to take over, and the tension is thick. Even the recruited male models feel the weirdness, and Amanda winds up asking Kier to leave.

By the afternoon, Brittany’s shoot has to be rushed in order to leave time for Lenore’s. Emotions are at an all-time high, and the group spends Lenore’s entire shoot criticizing and mocking. In their defense, Lenore’s concept of yoga-in-a-DVF-wrap dress is a little far-fetched, but Lenore has a point when she feels disrespected.

The time rolls around for the girls’ work to be judged by DVF and her team. Diane loves Kier’s photo, but notices some problems in the presentation. Amanda’s isn’t compelling enough, and Brittany gets the worst feedback of the group. Lenore, surprisingly enough, wins the challenge (take that, haters), but the fun is short-lived. They start the bickering again, and Diane and the panel sit in disbelief over their behavior. DVF sends them away, disgusted at their silly arguing.

Even after they are sent away, the girls continue to snip and pick on each other. It devolves into an example of the worst of kind of female behavior. We don’t get to see who DVF dismisses, but she is thoroughly put out with them all. Maybe they will all get their wrists slapped, because they certainly all deserve it.

Next week looks promising, as the girl take the show on the road. What could go wrong in the Hamptons, right?

House of DVF airs Sundays at 10 /9C on E!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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