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'Two and a Half Men' recap: Cheez-Its galore

Fresh off of learning the birth mother will be keeping her baby in the last episode, Walden and Alan open our Thanksgiving edition of Two and a Half Men in Ms. McMartin’s (Maggie Lawson) office talking about their options. Walden compliments her on how pretty she is and asks Alan if they know anyone they can set her up with, but says she’s “perfectly happy with her … cats.” She asks how they would feel about adopting an older child, a 6-year-old boy named Louis who has been in and out of the foster system. Walden and Alan are a bit surprised at first, but are open to becoming foster parents and starting off with a weekend visit.

Mrs. McMartin warns them that Louis has moved around a lot so he might be gun-shy. While talking about how excited they are, Walden reminds Alan that he will get to relive all those great father-son moments from when Jake was around that age. Cue Alan flashing back to how goofy Jake was and still is, including one too many scenes of him farting.

The next day, Alan walks into the house to find it looking like it was taken over by a Chuck E. Cheese. There’s a tube slide on the stairs, large stuffed animals everywhere, a gumball machine, and even arcade games! Walden again has overdone it, and Alan wisely says, “If you build Disneyland in your house, you’ll never get the thrill of taking him to Disneyland,” which makes Walden promptly cancel the visit from Mickey and Minnie Mouse he had planned.

Later that night, Alan finds Walden wide awake in the living room, and Walden says that he is terrified about meeting Louis because he has never been in a successful relationship. To comfort Walden, Alan admits to dropping Jake on his head when he was a baby, but he turned out fine, which is arguable. Still, Alan with more sage advice, says, “The fact that you’re worried about being a good dad is what’s going to make you a great one.”

In the morning, Ms. McMartin stops by with Louis to drop him off. In greeting each other, Louis adorably asks the all important questions, “Do you have any Cheez-Its?” Walden says if they don’t they can get some. Louis turns to Ms. McMartin and says, “Okay, I’ll stay.” When Ms. McMartin leaves, Louis asks which one of them is the mommy. Walden tries to answer the complicated question as best he can but in the end just points to Alan and says “He’s the mommy.” The guys show Louis to what looks to be Jake’s old room, and Walden suggests they go do something fun once he unpacks, to which Louis replies, “No, I don’t need to unpack.” It seems like Louis is used to being on the move.

The three of them head down to the beach and build sand castles, and Walden is doing his best to have fun with Louis but he ends up just wanting to go back inside because it’s hot and he has to pee. He heads back up without them to meet up with Berta. Walden is a bit bummed because he is convinced Louis hates him and brings up the point about him not unpacking. Alan says, “No one likes to unpack, I hate it!” He also convinces the impatient Walden that he has to give Louis time to feel safe. “You think he’ll love me by tomorrow?” Walden replies.

Back at the house, Berta greets Louis by asking if he put the seat down. “I never put it up,” he anwers, to Berta’s dismay. Berta has a heart to heart with Louis as they sit and snack on some Cheez-Its, and she reveals to him that she also grew up in a bunch of different foster homes and mentions how much she hated it. She talks up Walden and Alan saying that they’re good people but also that they’re easy to fool and that she went to her granddaughter’s graduation seven times. “With that face, you can get anything you want,” she says, as they toast with grape juice.

While Louis is drawing in his room, Walden stops by and attempts to connect with him. “I’m really glad you’re here, Louis,” he says while also inviting him to talk if there is ever anything on his mind. Louis asks if he can draw by himself for awhile, prompting Walden to leave again, disappointed.

In the middle of the night, Louis walks into Walden’s room and wakes him up. He asks Walden point-blank, “Am I gonna stay here with you?” When Walden asks what he means by that he replies, “Sometimes I go to a house for a weekend but then I don’t stay.” Realizing that Louis doesn’t know the decision is his, Walden comforts him by saying he can stay as long as he wants. Louis finally admits that he likes it there and that he likes Berta. “Berta’s great, and you like me too, right?” Walden says, to which Louis answers, “Berta’s so funny.” Louis then asks where Alan is. Smart kid.

The episode ends with Walden, Louis, and Alan all sitting in bed like a family. “Where’s Berta?” Louis asks, which Walden answers with a resounding “No!”

Two and a Half Men airs Thursdays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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