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'NCIS: New Orleans' recap: Catfished

Season 1 | Episode 8 | “Love Hurts” | Nov 18, 2014

NCIS: New Orleans has one of its best episodes this season with “Love Hurts,” a tale of misguided love. Petty Officer Jonathan Bell’s body is found in a storage facility for the Mardi Gras floats (I can only imagine what the Mardi Gras episode is going to be like). Alongside his body are a dozen roses, a poem, and an engagement ring. Love gone wrong? Sebastian is at the scene because his girlfriend has told him that he needs to get out more. I’m with everyone when they say, “Girlfriend?” Who knew?

Petty Officer Bell had a girlfriend out in Los Angeles named Maria, but no one had ever met her—including him, we come to find out. When her second boyfriend with Photoshopped pictures of the couple surfaces I begin to suspect that she is not real. Her social media accounts disappear and all of her mail was going to a P.O. Box. When the team finally tracks down her IP address they find Marco Drayer, a man,who has been catfishing Bell (cue the sports reference to Manti Te’o—even LaSalle pulls it out).

Drayer lives off the grid; the only other site he’s associated with belongs to anti-military hacktivists. When the team finds him leaving town and tries to stop him, he is shot and killed by a sniper using the same gun that killed Bell. Loretta works her magic and identifies the last meal he consumes (what a gross job that must be), and security cameras reveal the woman he ate with, Claudine Blauchard, wanted for all sorts of bad things. In her hotel room they find the makings of a bomb, which the team deduces is in a restaurant where a meeting of special diplomats and Bell’s boss is being held. Claudine knows this because she hired Marco to infiltrate Bell’s life and decipher his passwords.

The team rushes to the restaurant and clears everyone out. LaSalle’s friend Martino (who I’m so afraid might be a bad guy at this point) cannot be found, so LaSalle rushes back in to save him. Meanwhile, Brody hunts down Claudine, who shows off some serious ninja fighting skills. Brody finally pulls it together in time to take Claudine down—but after he shoots her, she lands on the bomb’s trigger. It explodes seconds after LaSalle and Martino emerge from the building.

Fortunately, Martino is not a villain; he has a sick son whom LaSalle visited in the hospital. We learn that LaSalle has a brother whose issues aren’t medical and he is unable to fix them. He visits the sick kids at the hospital as a way to see some hope and to help out. LaSalle decides to seek out his brother, Cade, only to find that he left his last known job three months ago. I think I see a developing storyline here.

Sebastian admits to Pride that he’s never met his girlfriend either—but he has Skyped with her so he’s convinced he’s not being catfished. Pride tells him that he’s not meeting her out of fear: despite being separated and soon divorced, he wouldn’t change the moment when he asked his wife out. Sebastian takes Pride’s advice and then shocks the team by bringing his very pretty girlfriend by the office. I’m so glad that sweet little Sebastian isn’t being catfished. Plame, the IT guy, gives it two weeks before the girlfriend cleans out Sebastian’s bank account.

Two great new plotlines were introduced in this episode, and the show and the writing only seem to be growing stronger.

Things to look forward to:

  • The developing storyline of LaSalle’s estranged brother Cody
  • Sebastian’s relationship with his real girlfriend
  • Pride’s marriage and whether it will survive
  • Also, I’m still waiting on a serious love interest for LaSalle or Brody to introduce some tension between the two

NCIS: New Orleans airs Tuesday at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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