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'Castle' honeymoon recap: Newlyweds in the Old West

Season 7 | Episode 7 | “Once Upon a Time in the West” | Aired Nov 17, 2014

Fresh off their intimate sunset nuptials, Castle and Beckett are ready for their honeymoon. Unfortunately for the newlyweds, the tropical island vacation they had been planning is out of the question due to Beckett’s lack of vacation days: She exhausted them all on the search for Castle and the continuing murder situation in NYC. So when a young woman’s murder is linked to an Old West dude ranch in Arizona, Castle can’t help but consider it the perfect little getaway for the two of them. So what if they have to solve a little murder in the process?

At the dude ranch, Castle and Beckett begin investigating the murder of their victim, Whitney Williams. The autopsy revealed she was poisoned, and the only place it could have happened was in the charming country resort knows as the Diamondback dude ranch. But because Castle and Beckett are way, way out of their jurisdiction, they must continue investigating undercover—no badges, no cops, just chaps, cowboy hats, and a six-shooter.

They soon find out Whitney wasn’t just at the dude ranch to have good, old-fashioned country-western time. She had been researching a local Native American reservation in the hopes of finding a buried treasure: gold bars that legend says were stolen right off a U.S. Treasury train but never discovered.

Stana Katic, Nathan Fillion, Castle/ABC Back in New York, Ryan and Esposito uncover a decades-old letter in Whitney’s possession that links her hunt for the gold to Clyde and Butch, otherwise known as the notorious Peacock Boys, local fugitive robbers still wanted by the sheriff’s department of the Diamondback ranch. Equipped with this new information, as well as the research Whitney had completed up until her death (and the revelation that Peacock Boy Clyde was actually Whitney’s father!), Castle and Beckett go out in search of the river where Whitney seemed to believe the treasure was buried.

But when they find the location of what should be the gold bars, they only find a dusty trunk containing the body of Clyde, one of the aforementioned Peacock Boys. Evidence points to murder, which leads Castle and Beckett to deduce this scenario: Clyde and Butch found the treasure together, but Butch killed Clyde; Whitney figured that out, so she confronted Butch, who then in turn killed her.

Except that’s not quite what happened.

Ryan and Esposito pose this theory to Butch in interrogation, where he admits there was actually a third party involved in this whole mess with Clyde, and that Clyde’s death was just a tragic accident.

Now, if you were going to tell me from the beginning of the episode that the old-timey proprietor of the old-timey dude ranch would turn out to be the killer, I would have said No way! Too cliché. But that’s exactly what happened. And you know what? I’m not even mad about it. The proprietor was the one responsible for Whitney’s murder, determined to keep his part in the truth of the gold-bar treasure and Clyde’s death a secret at all costs.

Things get ugly quickly when the proprietor realizes Castle is on to him (thanks to a call from Ryan), and just when I think we’re going to get a wacky Western gunfight, Beckett barges in the big saloon doors and shoots the proprietor’s gun right out of his hand LIKE A BOSS. (Castle, meanwhile, still can’t seem to form complete sentences in the presence of a cowgirl-clad Beckett. Men, am I right?)

Oh, and by the way:

  • Castle named the two horses for his wagon Ryan and Esposito. The best gag of the night was him repeatedly calling out their names throughout the episode.
  • When Castle reminds Beckett they will have to approach the investigation not as cops but as writers, she deals this low blow: “So we procrastinate and make stuff up?” (I will not dignify that with a response.)
  • Castle, upon seeing Beckett in her first Western getup: “This is like three fantasies coming true at once.”
  • Champagne. By the campfire. Under the stars. Swoon level: HARD.
  • Castle: “If I survive this, I’m giving this place a scathing review on Yelp.”
  • The Mystery of Richard Castle update: None. Though there was a tiny little pang of sadness when Beckett had to remind Castle that the reason she couldn’t take off any more days to take their dream honeymoon was because she had used up all of her vacation days searching for him. Tear.

Get more of Brandi’s take on all things entertainment over at ReelSnarky.com!

Castle airs Mondays at 10/9C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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