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'Law & Order: SVU' recap: Olivia Benson throws down in #CrossoverWeek!

Season 16 | Episode 7 | “Chicago Crossover” | Aired Nov 13, 2014

NBC’s Crossover Week has been epic, and not just because of this:


But that was a big part of it. This week, Law & Order: SVU, Chicago Fire, and Chicago P.D. joined forces fighting a child-pornography ring in a three-part event. Yours truly will be handling the SVU recap. Would you expect anything less?

To set the scene, a pedophile was caught trying to escape with photographic evidence of his crimes during an apartment building inferno on Chicago Fire. Lady Gaga’s boyfriend Taylor Kinney called in his police buddies from Chicago P.D. Among the photographs, Sophia Bush’s Detective Lindsay character spots her missing half-brother Teddy. And we’re off to NYC.

Lindsay and Halstead (Jesse Lee Soffer) meet with the whole SVU gang (minus New Guy because, let’s face it, he looks a teensy-bit pedo himself). This ain’t One Tree Hill, ’cause Sophia Bush’s character is all throaty and bedraggled. She tells the gang what she knows about her brother’s last-known whereabouts while Amaro unhelpfully surmises aloud that Teddy is probably dead. Thanks, Nick. Why did the wife take Zara and bolt?

Amaro isn’t as annoying as the show’s writers totally killing my appreciation of Jesse Lee Soffer’s beauty with some disturbing live-streaming kids in peril. A boy named Henry is being held captive and he’s going to be messed with in real time unless the cops can find him. But no pressure!

After tracking Henry to the youth center where he was last seen (please take no notice of the totally shifty security guard who will prove to be one of the pedobears), the cops are led to high school senior Jocelyn. She’s a survivor of these despicable pervs, and that’s how she knows Teddy. Last she heard, he was working at the piers.

Teddy isn’t in a good way. The piers are a hot spot for hustling—and sloppily applied eyeliner. Jaded boys mingle while johns check them out and … are they spinning that album AZEALIA BANKS finally dropped? Basically it’s every weekend from my 20s. Teddy’s high and sporting heels, makeup, and a gold lamé bikini top. Look, how else are you gonna stand out among the rest of these gals?

Teddy isn’t feeling helping the cops. You try being a kidnapped sex slave at a very young age and no one comes looking for you. I wouldn’t give them bus fare. Benson, who should be our country’s earthbound deity over Oprah Winfrey, tries to connect with him via an extra blanket in his cell and some kind words. Liv plays to his conscience, explaining that the men who ruined him 10 years ago are still doing it to other kids—and now they have live-streaming capabilities. Technology is putrid. Teddy thanks her for the blanket and that’s about it.

Liv and Lindsay try to figure out a new plan to find the missing kid. Let’s bother Jocelyn again, and mention how they found Teddy and they’re trying to bust a sex ring. Jocelyn’s amazing bangs game is threatened by this info, and she spills her coffee and flees. It turns out that she wasn’t just a teen prostitute, she was tortured by the same men, in addition to being assaulted on camera by the older Teddy. When confronted, he explains that he raped Jocelyn at the command of their captors because he knew the other men would be worse. I really need to switch to some cartoons now or maybe read some Beatrix Potter, because this episode is making me fear and hate the world.

The prototypical SVU minor character who is so obviously guilty of something because he gets a single line near the beginning of the episode (aka “George the security guard at the youth center”) is sussed out and chased. And then this magic happens:


I know you already saw that, but it’s that good. Sgt. Voight (Jason Beghe) from Chicago P.D. arrives in town to rough up George and piss Liv off. Liv wins this one because she’s (A) Liv and (B) taller. She also compares the short guy’s temper to Stabler’s and ARE YOU REALLY SHADING ELLIOT, LIV?!? I’m disgruntled over him leaving too, but bitter is not the look. The clock is ticking on the live stream of Henry’s eventual assault by the horrifically named Chess & Checkers Club. Liv manages to get George to spill it by threatening him with Voight and his throaty growl. George reveals that guy he sold Henry to drove a gray SUV and had to pay a double toll to get back to his creepquarters.

This episode of Crossover Week should be titled “Bother Jocelyn” ’cause man, they won’t leave her alone. Liv and Voight pose as Henry’s parents and beg for her help. Liz’s disguise is amazing. It’s a headband and some thick glasses. But it can’t dull her glorious light. Jocelyn comes down to the precinct and is faced with poor Teddy. It’s not a joyous reunion. His explanation of why he raped her doesn’t help things. She does remember that Teddy was kind to her (when he wasn’t raping her? *pained expression*) and they both recognize a voice from the Live Stream of Evil. Teddy remembers that he used the pseudonym “Clinton” when he made him pick up the Chinese food post-horrorshow (god, how much can you torture one person?).

Henry is rescued just in time. But our story continues! Be sure and check out my fellow EW Community contributor Jen Winkler’s Chicago P.D. recap to see how it all ends!

Law & Order: SVU airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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