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'Criminal Minds' recap: Selfie serial killer terrorizes Twitter

Season 10 | Episode 7 | “Hashtag” | Aired Nov 12, 2014

As somebody who depends on the Internet for work, play, and shameless self-promotion, stories of online creeps make me nervous. According to this week’s Criminal Minds, haters and crazies should be the least of my concerns. There could be a serial killer on my Twitter feed.

The setup

We open in a Maryland mall as a woman shops, chats, and takes dressing-room selfies with her friend. Sadly, she gets more than a retweet. That night, a mysterious person smashes her head into her mirror. The killer leans over, finishes the job, and takes the last selfie she’ll ever post online.

Meanwhile, Morgan and Savannah (his longtime lady friend) meet up at her hospital. They have a trip planned, but Savannah is convinced it’s not going to happen. With her doctor’s hours and him chasing unsubs, they have difficult schedules. Morgan promises, gives her a kiss, and leaves. Longtime fans know exactly what’s going to happen.

Dead Girl

The case

The victim is Tara Harris, a budding Internet star with a massive online following. As the unsub obsessively watches new reports of his crime, the team begins their investigation. The digging reveals some clues: the unsub is jealous of useless celebrity and is driven by passion. A strong suspect has also appeared: Tara Harris megafan Charles, who was one of the last people to see her alive. Kate and Rossi run to the mall and take him in.

Rossi, Hotch and Reid

Under interrogation, Charles promises Hotch he didn’t do anything wrong. Aside from spying on a high schooler with a security camera, he’s an angel!

Meanwhile, JJ learns more about the victim and the growing media sensation. Tara was grooming herself to be the next Kim Kardashian, and her death has spawned a new trending terror: the Selfie Killer. If you get a picture of yourself with a mysterious face looming in the background, tough luck, You’re next on the Selfie Killer’s list. It looks like the unsub is creating a modern urban legend and is loving the attention.

Creep at Desk

The next day, Morgan, JJ, and Kate investigate a new victim, another social media star who worked with Tara. This time around, the victim was killed with a nail gun. What’s worse, there’s a new signature. The unsub carved a hashtag into the victim’s car seat.

The profile

The unsub blitzes his victims with weapons of opportunity and uses the hashtag as his signature. They believe he’s in his late 30s and is “legend tripping,” meaning he’s taken the identity of a folklore story and is making it real. As his image grows, so will his crimes. They also believe he’s an introvert, intelligent, and technologically advanced.

After the profile, we see the unsub watching a Vine video of a kid cursing him out. This makes him furious and as he smashes his laptop in anger. We now know his next target.

As the unsub flips his lid, Morgan is on the phone with Savannah. He’s upset that he has to cancel another trip, but Garcia offers some sisterly advice: don’t try so hard. She tells Morgan to do something small yet meaningful for her—something he can actually follow through on.

While Morgan gets relationship advice, victim No. 3 rolls up to his house. It’s the kid in the Vine video. The unsub jumps him, fires a few nails into his hand, and finishes him off in brutal fashion.

Nail Gun - I Think

The escalation

With his latest victim, the unsub is now overkilling, to the point where Reid thinks he’s mentally devolving. This isn’t a mature 40-year-old. This is an impulsive teenager.

Garcia narrows the suspect list down to Connor Holt, an obsessive fan of the newly named Mirror Man. They bring him in, but after five seconds, it’s clear he’s not the  guy they’re looking for. It turns out Connor invented Mirror Man as a story character but insists he isn’t the killer. Somebody took his story and is acting out the legend. After some pressing by Morgan, Connor coughs up a name: William Pratt.

The crackdown

Now with a full address and work history, Morgan, Kate, and JJ rush to the mall to apprehend William. After a quick chase, William ends up holding the nail gun to the neck of a random lady. As the team tries to talk him down, a news van rushes up with cameras in hand. JJ screams for them to leave but William, seeing his final chance for fame, smiles and shoots the lady. The team quickly puts William down with gunfire. Damn the media! (Wait—I am the media …)

At the hospital, Hotch reassures Morgan that he did the right thing. Luckily, both the victim and William will be okay. Connor goes in to see William and gets a creepy welcome. William is still obsessed with his Twitter persona and how many “likes” his hospital selfie will get online—a sad commentary on our obsession with fake friends and social-media presence.

Group Figuring Out

When all is settled, Morgan meets Savannah and unleashes a huge surprise: Morgan has bought them a house. Even though they have crazy schedules, they now share a “fortress of solitude.” As Savannah walks in the door, both of their cell phones ring. It’s how it’s supposed to be—as they rush to their respective jobs, they give each other a knowing smile.

The ending is an exceptional symbol of understanding who your partner is and accepting them for it. After numerous examples of marriages being destroyed by the demands of the BAU, it’s wonderful to see a relationship work. Garcia advised Morgan to do something “small and meaningful.” Buying a home is no tiny task, but the intention and commitment it represents means more than any trip to a random island. A touching end to one of my favorite episodes of season 10.

Criminal Minds airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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