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'Modern Family' recap: Spanish, camera, fashion!

Season 6 | Episode 7 | “Queer Eyes, Full Hearts” | Aired Nov 12, 2014

Phil and Claire don’t know if they should be happy or concerned that Haley and Andy are spending a lot of time together. However, they soon find things are not what they appear. Gloria is pushing Manny to learn Spanish instead of French, so she hires a Spanish tutor, Diego—who also happens to be very handsome, much to Manny and Jay’s chagrin. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam meet a popular news reporter at a school function and one of them piques her journalistic interest.

Mitch and Cam are attending a clean-water benefit when Mitch recognizes his favorite reporter, Anne Gibbs. They charge over so Mitch can meet her and discuss a trial he is currently involved with. She is more interested in Cam, though, after he introduces himself as Mitch’s husband and the high school football coach (apparently that is a big news story).

Gibbs even wants to do a story about Cam’s life as an openly gay high school coach. Cam, of course, goes all Hollywood (makeup and all) for the story and drags Mitch into it. He asks Mitch if he would assist in making traditional homecoming pancakes for the football team, knowing that Gibbs will be there. This becomes very frustrating for Mitch, because the cameras are constantly on and Cam is only focused on them instead of helping. Mitch feels more like a 1950s housewife than a respectable lawyer.

Cam feels badly for what happened at the pancake breakfast, so he sneaks into court to watch Mitch shine. He says how proud he is of Mitch for acting so selflessly. Then Cam’s phone rings, interrupting the hearing. And it rings again after Mitch proceeds. Cam tries to crawl from the courtroom unseen, knocking a flag over as he exits. During the interview after winning another football game, Cam tells the cameras how thankful and proud he is of his husband. He also totally gives himself away for causing the ruckus in court.

Phil and Claire are both questioning which of their daughters are in deeper trouble: Alex, who studies so much she has become a zombie, or Haley, who spends her days reading about fashion. While it is clearly Alex, Claire is very worried that Haley isn’t doing anything with her life (again). Her apprehension is raised even higher when Andy starts spending a lot of alone time with Haley, which Claire thinks is bad for her self-esteem.

Alex and Andy are actually prepping each other for job interviews. Andy wants to get out of the manny (male nanny) business. He asks Phil if he will allow Andy to become his assistant in real estate, and Phil agrees to it. Andy then confirms to Claire that he and Haley are not in a relationship of any kind and that she is interviewing for a job with a high-profile fashion agency.

Haley meets with the interviewer only to be rudely turned away. But she doesn’t back down: She forces her way into his office to impress him, which she does by tearing the other assistant’s outfit apart. She triumphantly tells her family that she got the job and emphasizes to her mother that she is not with Andy. Claire feels a ton of relief as Alex approaches her claiming that she can no longer read due to fuzzy, floating words. Claire leaps into worry mode as Phil comically announces that Claire was wrong.

Manny isn’t happy taking Spanish in school anymore. He prefers French. Gloria wants Manny to learn Spanish because it is her native tongue, so she hires a Spanish tutor. Diego just happens to be a bit of a young stud, which makes Jay nervous, especially because he appears to be flirting with Gloria.

Jay catches Diego the tutor in the swimming pool with Gloria (can’t blame him for getting upset here). Mr. Perfecto is also a swimming coach, so Gloria asks him to teach the baby. Manny senses Jay’s frustration and takes advantage of his jealousy to get Jay to sign his permission slip to transfer into French class. No Spanish class, no Diego. Gloria is disappointed in Jay because she so badly wants to be able to speak her native language with someone in her family.

In order to apologize to Gloria, Jay informs her that he has hired Diego back. He is not back for Manny though. Jay plans to learn Spanish himself. He sweetly informs her in Spanish and she reacts with laughter, stating that she isn’t the only one that sounds like an idiot now. Fantastico!

While this was not my favorite episode of the season, it was fairly solid. It told a cohesive story and the comedy throughout was clever. I was by no means rolling on the floor laughing during its run (except for Phil’s victory scream, that is), but I was very entertained by each storyline. I wish that more of Jay and Gloria’s storyline was featured though.

The episode’s ending tag features Haley screaming at just about everything in frustration after initially being pushed out of her interview. It was an awesome performance by Sarah Hyland. I give this episode cuatro estrellas de cada cinco (four stars out of five).

Favorite Quotes

“What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?” —Gloria

“The whole sex thing was the fastest way to end the conversation with my mother.” —Haley

“Yes! You were wrong about everything!” —Phil

Modern Family airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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