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'Selfie' recap: There's nothing in the world a moist cake can't cure

Season 1 | Episode 7 | “Here’s This Guy” | Aired Nov 11, 2014

Unless you have been living in an underground bunker, the sad news is that last week ABC canceled Selfie. The series has filmed 13 episodes but it’s still unclear if the other episodes will air. ABC’s schedule does list another new episode next week, but that could change anytime. Forgot about “will they or won’t they?” with Eliza and Henry. We have bigger things to worry about!

How much does the show love their real-life fans? The user names shown during the episode are of actual fans of the show, especially those who have been trying to #SaveSelfie.

Despite all the online love she’s getting, the only relationship that Eliza really cares about is with Henry. He brings her a landline rotary phone as a gift and tells her that it’ll teach her patience. Since it won’t remember phone numbers for her, he hands her a phone directory as well. She recognizes that as they don’t have sex but spend tons of time together, they are in the truest sense actual friends. Eliza values their teacher-student exchange and thinks that nothing will ever come between them. Until …

Eliza is blocked from entering Henry’s office because he is having lunch with the Uber girl from last week’s episode: Julia, aka the gentlewoman (Allison Miller) he is now courting. He awkwardly introduces Eliza and then formally shakes Julia’s hand and kisses her goodbye. He admits to Eliza that they are dating and goes up for a high-five—which she doesn’t return. She’s upset because he didn’t tell her this was happening.

Henry is confused by Eliza’s behavior because he thought she’d be happy for him, especially since she’d been trying to help him find someone. The advice he gets from Larry is that all women are highly emotional and deeply jealous creatures. Henry refutes this by saying Julia is not like this as she is very similar to him. They share the same grooming habits, can spend hours enjoying silence together, and are both comfortable with just locking pinkies as they walk together. Larry tells him that once Julia finds out how much time he spends with Eliza, things won’t be good.

Meanwhile Eliza, worried that things will change now that Henry is dating, finds out that Bryn lost her best friend after she started dating: Bryn didn’t like the guy and her friend chose him instead. She laments that maybe if she had been more supportive, they would still be friends.

Both armed with new insight, Henry and Eliza end up apologizing for being weird about the situation. Eliza is thinking she can be friends with Julia and things won’t have to change, but Henry feels that they immediately must stop spending so much time together. He says they don’t need any more sessions because Eliza has been doing so well lately. They are interrupted by Sam, who wants the social media maven to introduce the keynote speaker at the upcoming pharmaceutical conference. This is actually a big thing for Eliza and shows that she is actually valued in the company. Her reaction to this news demonstrates her maturity because she accepts it gracefully.

Unfortunately, Henry won’t be around to help her out as he goes off to have lunch with Julia. Worried that she’s losing him, Eliza and Charmonique look up Julia’s medical profile online and see that she’s received rave reviews from patients. Later that night, Julia admits to Henry that she had a bad day because someone wrote bad reviews about her. Based on the language used, Henry knows it’s Eliza.

Back at her apartment, Eliza is stood up by Henry, who was supposed to come over and help her out with her speech. It’s heartbreaking watching Eliza waiting around for him as she struggles with her rotary phone.

elizaphone2elizaphone

Here’s that lovely cover of “Baby It’s You” by Mapei that played during the scene.

Henry finally arrives and is furious with Eliza for writing those reviews. He accuses her of being jealous of anyone else who takes up his attention. “You are not the sun, Eliza—the world does not revolve around you,” he tells her before saying they are done.

Wanting desperately to patch things up, Eliza is inspired by Bryn to bake a cake of the urological system for Julia.

cake

Based on the incredible detailing of this cake, it looks like Eliza is in the wrong career. Who knew this girl could bake? Also, Eliza apparently did some major research as well: she is definitely much smarter than she thinks she is—or portrays herself to be.

After landing an appointment at Julia’s office to drop off the cake, Eliza is schooled in the waiting room by a young girl on how to believe in herself. She doesn’t need Henry’s help to handle the conference. Julia is very pleased with the cake, and, believing that a young patient made it for her, shows it off to Henry. (Aside: Henry and Julia are about to watch The Mentalist. Interestingly this show and Selfie were canceled in the same week. Man these writers are good! End of aside.) He sees that it was made by Eliza and realizes her intentions. He tells Julia that Eliza is really a friend (“The jolly green giantess?”) and that he hopes that it’s not an issue with her. She tells him that she’s honestly fine with him having female friends and tells him to go off and help her.

Eliza pulls off the introduction at the con without a hitch in the best Eliza way possible. Henry shows up to congratulate her and tells her that while he’s proud of her, he knows she still needs him. This causes her to tear up, and things are now back to normal. She and Julia are able to patch things up as well, though Eliza knows that she is still the bigger person. Literally.

I really hope we can see all the Selfie episodes that were filmed. If this is the last episode to air, it’s not a very satisfying ending. Sure, Henry and Eliza are back to being good friends again, Eliza and Julia have come to a truce, and, most importantly, Eliza has shown maturity and growth since the beginning. It’s still, however, an incredibly boring way to end the series. Hopefully that’s not the case and there is still more story to come. This episode is proof of how much stronger the show has gotten since the beginning.

Selfie airs Tuesdays 8/7C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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channel__color--background-color"></span> <span aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></span> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Syndication Attribution --> <!-- Generic Page Content --> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="people" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad" data-dimensions="728x90"></div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad" data-dimensions="300x250"></div> <div class="component feed 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