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'Hawaii Five-0' recap: 100th episode goes back to the future

Season 5 | Episode 7 | “Ina Paha” | Aired Nov 7, 2014

If your interests include seeing Steve without a shirt, Danny in a Hawaiian shirt, or Sang Min’s mullet, then Hawaii Five-0’s 100th episode is your dream come true! The milestone episode follows a kidnapped, drugged Steve and his hallucinations of a world in which his father was not killed by Victor Hesse (in the events that kicked off the pilot). Let’s recap them one at a time, shall we?

The alternate universe (AU), in which nothing bad happened to anyone

The AU opens with a condensed version of the first scene from the pilot: Steve transporting Anton Hesse and being intercepted by Victor. Only this time around, before he can shoot John, Victor is captured by the Honolulu Police Department—specifically, by one Detective Danny Williams.

chin2Steve—in his full dress blues!—returns to Hawaii to check on his dad, and he meets Danny in person. You may not recognize Danny because HE IS WEARING A HAWAIIAN SHIRT AND SAYING STUFF LIKE ALOHA.

Anyway, after a brief reunion with his father, Danny tells Steve they have been waiting for him to arrive before talking to Hesse. They have to find out who helped Hesse plan his attack.

Danny does the driving as they head to the hospital. On the way, his “Love Is in the Air” ringtone goes off. It’s his loving wife, Rachel. Steve asks why they moved to Hawaii, and Danny says why not? Danny loves Hawaii. He loves the beach, he loves the weather, I love this episode.

When they arrive at the hospital to interrogate Hesse, Danny imitates Hesse’s Irish accent AND THEN HE SHOOTS HIM IN THE KNEE. And then he smothers Hesse with a pillow! (AU Danny is clinically insane.)

AU Steve is not about this life, and he scolds Danny (for tactics that even actual Steve would have thought were going a little too far). Danny says that Hesse isn’t American, so he doesn’t have constitutional rights. Steve dryly responds, “You’re incorrect.”

But Danny doesn’t mess around when it comes to terrorists in any universe, so he shoots Hesse in the other knee. (A reminder that Five-0 doesn’t exist in this AU: There’s no immunity and only partial means. Danny’s just a normal cop shooting people.)

mcgdad3Hesse cracks and tells them Wo Fat is in charge. Danny and Steve track down Wo Fat with some help from a mustachioed, incarcerated Kamekona. After a shootout (those exist in every universe), Steve kills Wo Fat. Steve and John (in a callback to the pilot) share a beer together on the lanai.

When Danny and Steve say their goodbyes, Danny teases Steve for wearing a tie in Hawaii, and Steve says it was nice being chauffeured around. (Everything is backward!) Danny invites Steve to come back if he ever considers going into law enforcement. Oh, and: “Call me Danno. All my friends do.”

Where was the rest of the team in this universe? Grover is on vacation in Hawaii. Chin is a captain with HPD. Jerry is a crazy homeless guy (not nearly as cool as Chris Pratt). Jenna Kaye is visiting her fiancé at the hospital where Max works. Kono is a professional surfer doing lip gloss commercials. What a world.

The real world, in which Steve is tortured a lot

But the AU is only happening because the real Steve McGarrett is being drugged and tortured. Five-0 is taking down a human trafficker with the help of Sang Min. They capture their man no problem, but Danny gets a disturbing call: Steve’s car was found abandoned. There’s blood on the door and a broken window. He’s been taken.

Steve is in a white room, wounded and with track marks in his arm. A home video of young Steve is projected on the wall. Then gas starts pouring into the room, and Steve loses consciousness. He wakes up tied to a chair. A henchwoman checks on him before drugging him again. When he wakes up again, Wo Fat is there. Wo Fat and Henchwoman begin waterboarding Steve. Steve stoically cries, “You’re never going to break me.” Wo Fat wants to know where his father is, but Steve doesn’t know.

During another bout of torture, Steve brings up his mother. Steve knows Doris was visiting Wo Fat in prison. But when Wo Fat refers to Doris as “our mother,” Steve is confused and angry. Steve knows they’re not brothers—he ran the DNA (and the producers promised they aren’t related!).

Steve’s torture escalates throughout the episode. He’s shown a news clip from his mother’s accident and gassed again. Wo Fat proceeds to electrocution and frequent shots in the back of the neck. During a torture break, Wo Fat explains that Doris had been assigned to kill Wo Fat’s father, but his mother died instead. Doris always felt terrible—Wo Fat was just a baby—so she took Wo Fat in and raised him for several years. When her superiors found out, they forced Doris to abandon her “adopted” son.

105411_d0241bWo Fat leaves Henchwoman to give Steve another shot. But Steve partially frees himself and fights Henchwoman. Finally, Steve takes her out. When Wo Fat comes back, Steve uses the water on the floor to electrocute him. The two “brothers” fight, but Wo Fat doesn’t believe Steve will shoot him. He’s wrong.

Kono’s maybe-fiancé Adam was able to find out Steve’s location with some help from Sang Min, and the team arrives just in time. Danny is crying when he finds a still-drugged Steve, who wants to know where his father is. Danny has to break the news of John’s death to Steve all over again, and Steve breaks down. (Alex O’Loughlin was brilliant in this scene especially.) Then the team takes Steve home to the tunes of a good, old-fashioned montage of seasons past.

What did you think of the 100th?

Hawaii Five-0 airs Fridays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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