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'Selfie' recap: Eliza Dooley is nobody's plus-one

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “Even Hell Has Two Bars” | Aired Nov 4, 2014

It still has yet to be announced if Selfie will make it to a full season. Two episodes aired Tuesday night, and I’m hoping it’s because ABC needed to fill up the time slot after Manhattan Love Story was canceled and not because they’re waiting to see what to do with this show. After episodes like these, I’m really hoping it won’t end up on the chopping block.

Henry has just received the holy grail at work: an invitation to his boss’s lake home. Because Sam only invites executives he’s looking to promote, Henry is super giddy—until he learns that Eliza has received an invite as well. While he thinks she doesn’t display enough professionalism to justify a promotion, Eliza reminds him that she’s the top sales rep in the company and is equally deserving. That may be so, but Henry’s theory is that she’s really just his plus-one. That does not go well with Eliza.

She agrees to help him because she know how important it is to him. Plus, there’s no Wi-Fi at the house. Henry wants the retreat to go perfectly and is intent on making the best impression. Eliza just wants to have fun and enjoy the simple pleasures like slipper chocolate.

Henry’s attempts to impress his boss keep failing. He had spent three years investing money and time learning how to ride a horse for this very occasion, and instead everyone just wants to do what Eliza wants. He realizes that the promotion is slipping away. Desperate to help him, Eliza tells him that he just needs to do one fun thing before the day is over. Normally, this would be great advice—except Henry chooses to be fun by jumping naked (with only a smiley emoji to protect his modesty) into a preserved lake that is special to the Saperstein family.

Henry lashes out at Eliza and blames her for everything that has gone wrong. She leaves, telling him that she was trying to help him. Realizing the truth, a disheveled Henry apologizes to Sam for messing up the weekend. To his surprise, Sam is pleased with the turn of events. He tells Henry the reason why he invited Eliza was because he acts more lifelike around her—she is the perfect plus-one.

Knowing he needs to apologize to Eliza, Henry does the thing almost every girl dreams of: he rides to her on a horse. He tells her that even though he did get the promotion, he doesn’t value it more than their friendship (ouch, did someone just get friend-zoned?); instead, it’s a tie. Predictably, that’s not what Eliza wants to hear and calls him out on it, because he just came galloping on that majestic horse bathed in moonlight. He admits that he has grown accustomed to her face. (Oh, Henry. Your way with words make me facepalm so hard.) It’s enough for Eliza and there’s SO MUCH sexual tension in this scene—but then their cell signals kick in and the mood is ruined.

The episode ends with Eliza canoodling with Freddy, but her attention is on the Instagram pic she posted of herself and Henry on the horse—which Henry ends up liking. I squealed during this scene from the cuteness. Also, seriously, that horse scene? Swoon. The chemistry between these two is just getting stronger.

Selfie airs Tuesdays 8/7C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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