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Satan returns to 'South Park' to take down 'free' apps

Season 18 | Episode 6 | “Freemium Isn’t Free” | Aired Nov 5, 2014

There is a new Terrance and Phillip mobile game. Wahoo! And the best part? It’s totally free! Play as Terrance and Phillip. And try to collect Canadian coins or Canadough to help rebuild Canada. Awesome fun! Buy more coins for real money!  Yeah! Wait … what was that last part about buying fake coins for real money?

Turns out, the prince of Canada and the minister of mobile gaming are really banking on this free game with the many in-app purchases players make. Uh-oh.

1806_freemium-isnt-free_stan
Terrance and Phillip are not fans of their gaming app and hate that it is called “free” when it’s not. They have integrity, you know.

200 (12)

“They see through the charade,” the minister of mobile gaming says as he explains the science behind “freemium games,” which the Canadian prince explains is Latin for “free not really.”

When Stan spends $489 in the game, Randy is not happy: “Just because I make a good living with my music doesn’t mean you can blow it all on Canadough!” There’s your link to previous season 18 episodes, South Park loyal super fans!200 (17)

Randy thinks Stan may have an addictive personality like his grandfather. Sharon reminds him that he also has an addictive personality with his alcoholism: “Now, I only drink gluten-free beer and wine.” Yet another reference to a previous episode from this season! What did we fans do to deserve this? It’s like an early Christmas gift.

Meanwhile, the minister of mobile gaming is explaining the Principles of Success of Freemium Games to Terrance and Phillip:

 

  1. Entice the player with a simple game loop.
  2. Compliment the player to make him feel good about himself.
  3. Train the player to use fake currency.
  4. Offer the player a way to spend real currency for fake currency.
  5. Make the player pay not to wait.

200 (11)So that’s the secret. Tried and true.

The boys trace the origins of how they discovered the app back to Jimmy who doesn’t play. He just pushes the app on people. The Canadian government is paying him, and he really needs the money, because he spent all his money on “Yum Yum Sparkly Gem Forrest.”200 (13)

When Terrance and Phillip tell the prince and the minister that they are afraid their game is having negative side effects on people, the minister suggests they use their money to teach people how to use the app in moderation the way alcohol campaigns remind people to “drink responsibly.”

When Stan spends $26,000 more dollars on Canadough, Randy is not pleased, “Do you know how many songs I have to write to make up that much money?” Just lovin’ these Lorde references!200 (14)

When word gets out about the game pushers, Terrance and Phillip storm into the prince and minister’s office and tell them that what they are doing is wrong. So, the minister goes into another speech about how freemium games work. Only this time, he says how they “actually” work. “The truth is a very small percentage of people who download freemium games ever pay anything for them,” he says. “It’s all about finding the heaviest users and extracting the most amount of cash from them. You get addicts to pay $200 for a game that isn’t even worth 40 cents.”

And after being away from the show for what  feels like an eternity, Satan shows up in Stan’s room after Stan prays for his addiction demons. Satan explains that all human problems exist because of dopamine.  Easy access to everything people want makes it easy for them to overdo it. 200 (16)

Back in the boardroom, the minister says that he is counting on getting people addicted to his game to make money. Phillip points out that he suddenly sounds like Al Pacino in Devil’s Advocate, “Oh, I’m much worse than the devil…I’m the Canadian Devil!” The minister, now transformed into a red-winged demon, says as he flies around.

When Satan figures out what the Canadian Devil is up to, he borrows Stan’s soul to fight “Beezlebute.” He is victorious over the Canadian Devil, and the prince of Canada announces they will no longer make deals with the Canadian Devil or make improvements to the country with money taken from addicts. All is back to “normal” in Canada.

The Rundown:

The evil minister of gaming says: “We’re building a new Canada from the micropayments from addicts. Who cares?”

Satan’s right: “If somet200 (18)hing is addictive because it’s fun that’s one thing. But this is just blatant skinner box manipulation.”

Where’s Butters? Butters is MIA again! Come back, Butters, we miss you!

We were wondering that too, Phillip: “We under200 (15)stand micropaying, but can’t the game hidden inside the charade just at least be fun?”

Randy does NOT have a problem: “I am not having a glass of wine. I’m having six. It’s a wine tasting, and it’s classy.”

 South Park airs Wednesdays at 10/9C on Comedy Central.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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