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'Happyland' recap: Happy lives in a rectangle

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “Disorderly Conduct” | Aired Nov 4, 2014

Everybody is finding new love in Happyland, but old feelings never really go away, do they?

Those old feelings translate into an awkward exchange between Will and Harper at the college fair, and things only get weirder when Lucy and Noah participate in some major public displays of affection. Lucy thinks Will’s weirdness is a result of just being down on college because he can’t get in. But we know differently, don’t we? Poor Lucy—she suffers from a case of crush blindness and can’t see that Will is really down with Nocy (that’s Lucy and Noah’s couple name, by the way).

When Will finds out Lucy is planning a road trip to Noah’s college, his sour attitude worsens and he gets a little ugly with Lucy. Threatening to start a “losing your V-card on a college road trip” blog, anScreen Shot 2014-11-04 at 8.56.56 AMd then barking, “Try not to bang anybody in the dressing room,” it is looking like Will is going to tip his hand about his feelings sooner rather than later.

It’s not just Will who is dubious about this road trip, however. Elena says no when Lucy asks to borrow the car and, true to form, Lucy says some hurtful things to her mother and stomps off in a huff. I don’t think Lucy was spanked enough as a child, but maybe we are just supposed to blame Lucy’s brattiness on her mother’s absenteeism.Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 9.01.25 AM

Will, a little down about his fight with Lucy, heads to pick up his dad’s check from the bar, and runs into Ian. Will thanks him for getting him the job and they have a little bro-bonding over their mutual dissatisfaction with Nocy. Lucy vents to Harper about the road trip, and talk turns to Lucy’s first time. Harper is far more nonchalant about giving it away than Lucy and offers to loan her a car to make the trip.

Back at the college fair, Will confronts Noah in an exchange that feels a little lopsided in its intensity. Both Will and Ian have warned Noah about what a good girl Lucy is, and this love triangle rectangle is Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 8.57.38 AMbecoming more complicated by the minute. Next week’s recap may necessitate a diagram.

Speaking of weird love combos, Nate approaches Elena about a special assignment his father wants for her. Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 8.57.58 AMI’ve watched enough TV (and nighttime soaps, for that matter) to see a love interest from a mile away, and it looks as though Theodore might have a little crush on Elena. Because why not develop feelings for your dad’s ex-mistress and the possible mother of your half-brother (y’all need that diagram yet?)?

After being hassled by all of Lucy’s suitors, Noah tries to give her an out, but Lucy presses on, giving some highly mixed signals. She tries to arrange stand-ins for her and Ian’s shifts, but Ian isn’t happy about it. Is he a gripey big brother or a jealous ex-boyfriend? It’s hard to tell at this point.

Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 9.00.55 AMIt becomes clear during Elena’s tour with the VIP that he is interested in more than  seeing the sights, so when Elena hears about a new scholarship opportunity this guy is offering, she agrees to indulge his Ricki fantasy.  This fantasy includes a little cosplay action that takes a wrong turn when Elena calls him out on his advances. Upset about how horribly wrong this special tour went, Elena seeks out Lucy for comfort, but finds out Lucy disobeyed her about the college trip.

Now that Ian has the weekend off, he and Will again bond over amateur Happyland porn and their mutual latent feelings for Lucy. While doing so, they stumble upon some incriminating pictures of Noah, but they don’t get to the couple before Elena does.

When Elena tries to get all mom-ish on her, Lucy says more hurtful things about missing the parenting boat, and Lucy goes anyway. These exchanges make me question the popular opinion that Lucy is such a “good girl.”

About the time I start to want to shake Lucy, Will and Ian show up with the pictures of Noah and the turkey-legScreen Shot 2014-11-04 at 8.58.16 AM girl in Plunderers’ Cave. Lucy acts indignant when Noah tells her, “This is just how it is in college,” and she speeds off, officially signaling the end of Nocy.

Elena is called into Mr. Chandler’s office to be scolded for her behavior during the tour with the rich guy. Theodore suggests she be fired, but when Elena explains she’s not going to take crap from another rich guy, Mr. Chandler comes to her rescue. He apologizes for what happened a long time ago, and it looks like Elena might forgive him a little.

Apologies are the theme of the evening, and Lucy has to say sorry to her mom again. Elena is a very forgiving mom, and even though Lucy acts like a jerk, Elena still arranges for her to interview for the new Happyland scholarship.

Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 9.02.28 AMAs it turns out, the turkey-leg girl didn’t know about Lucy either. Lucy feels silly for falling for Noah’s aw-shucks, beta-male routine. About the time Lucy spots Noah’s black eye, Will asks her on a date. He takes her to Club Happy, and as he’s pouring out his non-platonic feelings to her, she tunes him out when she sees her mother and James Chandler together. Will is left hanging … again.

How much longer do we have to wait for a decision in this will-they-or-won’t-they situation? I’m still shipping Ian and Lucy, but dang if Will isn’t a cutie! What do y’all think?

Happyland airs Tuesdays at 11 p.m. on MTV.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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