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'Bad Judge' recap: Three strikes and you're out!

Season 1 | Episode 4 | “Knife to a Gunfight” | Aired Oct 23, 2014

Rebecca and Tedward take work lunch at Rebecca’s favorite bar so that she can enjoy the Tuesday potato skins and he can fret about turning into Winnie the Pooh. Across the bar, Rebecca spies an ex-con she once put away, Byron Cash. Tedward takes umbrage that the man is not only in a cop bar but one known to be Judge Wright’s spot. Rebecca brushes it off as the price of being judicial. Tedward takes her hand and, as Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You plays, solemnly vows to stand between Rebecca and danger. Touched, Rebecca asks, “Tedward—are you saying you’re the black Kevin Costner to my white Whitney Houston?”

NUP_165297_0090 [www.imagesplitter.net] Hey there, new, kitschy credits!

D.A. Tom is dee-light-ed about his case, but Rebecca doesn’t think the defendant deserves the mandatory sentence of 25 to life just for hitting his three strikes, which include stealing a tractor mower, eating a $300 can of caviar without paying for it first, and trying to steal a mother-of-pearl handled knife from a gun store. Rebecca: “I mean, the guy literally brought a knife to a gun fight!” On his way to vacation, Judge Hernandez doesn’t want to be bothered with their squabbling and orders them to man up. “You mean mani-pedi up!” Rebecca corrects. Heh. Rebecca asks D.A. Tom to be reasonable but when he refuses, she has to hope Charlie the defendant has a good defense attorney. Not likely as he’s representing himself.

That night, Tedward stalks Rebecca in the parking lot for her own protection. He apologizes for standing guard outside her stall in the ladies room but vows not to ease up until he’s sure Byron Cash isn’t a threat. Rebecca beeps open her small SUV and sadly admits how much she misses Bill & Ted’s Excellent Wolf Lady Van. She has to take Tedward’s fear seriously, though, when they find an anonymous death threat on her windshield. Tedward wants her to get a gun, but Rebecca refuses. “You’ve seen me at McDonald’s when I miss the breakfast cutoff! You wanna add a weapon to that mix?!” She’s got a point; that breakfast cutoff is ridonkulous. Who eats lunch at 10:30 in the morning?!

Bad Judge - Season 1A man in black breaks into Rebecca’s house, creeps into her bedroom, and straddles the sleeping Rebecca before he shouts her name in her face. Rebecca flips him over and drags off the mask to reveal it’s Tedward. He was testing her defenses, which she epically failed. “You’re dead! And why is your alarm code 69-69?!” Snort. Rebecca finally concedes to get a gun.

Bad Judge - Season 1In court, Rebecca counsels Charlie to waive a jury trial in favor of summary by a very reasonable judge. D.A. Tom calls her on helping the defendant, but Charlie wants a jury trial. He equates himself to Elle Woods in Legally Blonde and proceeds to crib as many true crime (O.J. Simpson trial) and movie (A Few Good Men) references as he can manage. Clearly, he should write recaps. Rebecca feeds him penal code information to prove he didn’t have criminal intent and thus should get a shorter sentence and then calls recess.

Rebecca and Tedward hit the gun range. Tedward thinks the first preparation is in the gun face, “which looks a lot like my ‘who ate the pie?’ face but with crazy eyes.” Heh. Naturally, Rebecca is a crack shot and admits she grew up with guns. “I was the only 11-year-old in the county with a license to carry.” That explains a lot. Tedward: “That explains a lot.” Thank you! I’ll be here all week!

Back at court, Rebecca complains about the size of  Tedward’s SmartCar. When he goes back for his wallet, a man in black accosts Rebecca. Tedward tackles him to the ground…and learns the hard way that it’s only Judge Hernandez. Turns out, D.A. Tom tattled on Rebecca regarding Charlie. Judge Hernandez scolds her to uphold the law, not fix it. After he’s gone, Rebecca channels every pissed-off commanding officer from every buddy cop movie ever made and mockingly yells at Tedward to take a Valium and back down. He’s impressed with her performance. She points out they have bigger problems, like figuring out how to help Charlie, who, at the moment, is in the parking lot yelling at his imaginary friends.

Rebecca asks Doctor Gary to evaluate whether Charlie is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Tedward interrupts to put on speaker phone the heavy-breathing call that’s come in for Rebecca. She updates Gary that she may or may not have a stalker and now he’s freaking out too. She’d rather he evaluate Charlie. He agrees but insists on spending the night at her place with his shanked-up Swiffer mop. Rebecca: “I feel safer already.”

Bad Judge - Season 1Gary evaluates Charlie and deems him officially cuckoo and a klepto to boot with personality disorders. This excites Charlie who declines Gary’s offer to testify on his behalf. Rebecca tracks D.A. Tom down and begs him to look at Gary’s evaluation. He wonders if she wants to live in a world where people repeat their bad behavior without consequence. Rebecca: “No, Tom! I want to live in a world where people don’t poop and The Matrix sequels don’t suck!” Preach. D.A. Tom accidentally drops the file and as they squabble over the spilled pages, Byron Cash finally makes an appearance but only to thank Rebecca for putting him away because it helped get him off a bad road. She uses this to prove her point to Tom who reluctantly agrees to review Charlie’s case just before Tedward hits Byron Cash in the back with his taser. Next court case?141022kate-walsh-bad-judge1_300x206

Back in court, D.A. Tom agrees to a reduced sentence for Charlie that includes a stint in the mental hospital. They allow Charlie to give his closing arguments to the non-existing jury, which he steals from Erin Brockovich.

Tedward visits Rebecca’s house to reset her security code since Rebecca won’t get a gun. Rebecca shows him the gun pendant from Judy the stenographer, who also was the one who left the death threat on Rebecca’s windshield in reference to death by hot yoga and butt-dialed Rebecca during hot yoga, which explains the heavy-breathing phone call. Rebecca points out Tedward was wrong about Byron Cash, “and I don’t ever want to be wrong about someone while carrying a gun.” But that apparently doesn’t apply to the massive crossbow she picked up. Judy goes to take a bath—“mine is full of buttons and doll’s heads”—and Tedward declines Rebecca’s invitation to hang out. “Gary’s got a Swiffer spear, you got a crossbow, and Judy nekkid!” One of these things is not like the others.

End credits.

So … Bad Judge/Arrow crossover with the crossbow? Amirite?

Bad Judge airs on Thursdays at 9/8C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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