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'Million Dollar Listing LA' recap: Josh and Heather move on

Season 7 | Episode 10 | “Million Dollar Frisking” | Aired Oct 22, 2014

As we already know, Josh Altman and Heather Bilyeu postponed their wedding. Not canceled, but just postponed. Josh is obsessed—and likely addicted to—his work. In a conversation way too reasonable and sensible for a reality television show, Heather explains that her parents got divorced because her father was a workaholic, and she doesn’t want to repeat the patterns of her parents.

Josh explains that he’s working so hard now so they will be set financially later. Heather points out that no amount of money will be enough for Josh, because he will always want to chase the next big listing. Josh admits that he needs to reprioritize and put work into the relationship.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Can Josh and Heather 5Move Forward

I apologize for the lack of witty commentary, but this is one of the most mature and self-aware conversations seen on reality TV. (To be fair, the whole thing still seemed very scripted.) I am also curious about what they ordered, because that is where my priorities are.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Can Josh and H3eather Move Forward

David and James are working with a developer they have worked with before, but this time the developer wants a home for himself. Will he be picky? Yes. Will it be a tough sale? Yes. Will James and David come through at the last minute? Likely. Zack becomes the Goldilocks of expensive real estate and has a complaint about most places, until he finds a spacious place for only $15K per square foot. Problem solved! The times that the Brits work themselves into a tizzy is making my blood pressure rise by proxy.

Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Photos   Listing Recap  So Man5y Demands  So Little Time

“Too bachelor,” complains Zack.

Josh Flagg is struggling with his grandmother Edith being ill. He distracts himself by taking on a listing in Redondo Beach. The place, according to Josh, is tacky as hell. Sure, there are gold swan bath fixtures, rainbow edges on the kitchen cabinets, and a pink marble circular staircase, but it has character. He calls on Colton to give his interior design assessment, and Colton is disgusted.

Watch M3illion Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Is Josh Flagg s Life Crumbling

Someone designed a bathroom like this on purpose.

 

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Is Josh5 Flagg s Life Crumbling

Pink marble overload

When they check out the view, Josh suggests they move to a place on the beach. Josh wants to separate himself from his family’s house, and he is obviously preparing himself for the end of Edith’s life. Colton is dubious. Josh also buys Colton a brand-new Mercedes convertible, because he likes buying people things. I’d like to think it is a thank-you to Colton for being so supportive of him, but maybe it is because Josh only knows how to express love through buying material items.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles 4Season 7   Is Josh Flagg s Life Crumbling

Even in his distress, Josh Flagg pulls off a stunning outfit—this time a maroon blazer and a fuchsia pocket square. I’d also bet real money that his glasses are not prescription.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angele3s Season 7   Is Josh Flagg s Life Crumbling

Josh and Matt Altman meet a new client in a suspicious black van, which turns out to be a mobile office for a wealthy UK tech entrepreneur. His wife, Katie, awaits with her small dog. She’s in the U.S. for a few days and has to find a place before she leaves. Oh, and money is no option. Because she is British and demanding, I’d like to think of her as a grown-up Veruca Salt. But really, she’s not too bad. The Altmans take her to one of the most amazing places I’ve seen so far this season, a French chateau–style mansion with 10 bedrooms, a ballroom, and 17 bathrooms. Katie doesn’t like it because … I can’t really remember the reason, but probably because money is no object.

Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Photos   Listing Recap  So Many De5mands  So Little Time

 

Million Dollar Listin4g Los Angeles Photos   Listing Recap  So Many Demands  So Little Time

She finally settles on a huge place in Beverly Hills that reminds me of Shelly Long’s house in Troop Beverly Hills. It’s on the same street as the Beverly Hills Hotel and walking distance from Rodeo Drive (shaw, like she’d ever walk there.)

Katie loves it, but the catch is, she wants to close on it within the next 45 minutes. Josh is also scheduled to be at couples therapy with Heather in an hour. Katie actually lowballs the price at around 14 million, which the broker won’t take. Josh starts to panic, and his solution is to aggressively antagonize the seller’s agent. Josh tells him to go back to his client and then call him back in one minute. For every minute he waits, he’ll lower his offer by $100K. Well, the plan works, and they sell the house, Josh beats traffic and picks up Heather in time for therapy.

The show always informs us of the commission earned by these agents, and it’s pretty insane.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   The Altman Bro0s Get Called Out

Not bad for two days work and one verbally abusive phone call.

Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on Bravo.

TV Families

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Tweet"><span>Tweet</span></a></li><li class="share-email"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="" class="share-email sd-button 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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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