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'Manhattan Love Story' recap: Blowing chunks

Season 1 | Episode 4 | “It’s Complicated” | Aired Oct 21, 2014

To borrow a phrase from another ABC franchise, tonight’s episode of Manhattan Love Story is all about getting to the fantasy suite. How long do you wait before closing the deal? How long is too long? Will Dana get a rose at the end of the night? What we get a cameo by our host, Chris Harrison, himself?!

Spoiler: Harrison does not make an appearance, but we almost have a Suri Cruise sighting. I wonder if she brought her Burn Book?

Peter is calm about the evening’s events, even though David is in a complete panic over the fact that his brother has not had sex with Dana. Across town, Amy warns Dana that she and Peter are about to drift into a “weird” zone if they don’t do the deed soon. Dana assures Amy that she need not worry. She and Peter have plans to eat oysters at a restaurant on her list that night. And since oysters are a natural aphrodisiac, the sex will be fantastic.

Manhattan Love StoryLater that day, Amy and David run into one of Amy’s friends and her baby near a neighborhood park. The married couple coo over the little darling before walking away arm-in-arm, as Amy predicts that will be them in seven years. David rants and raves as they enter the apartment, but when Amy leaves the room, he confesses to Dana that he is just dying to have kids.

David: I love babies. Forget about a bun in the oven. I want her to open a bakery down there.

In David’s mind, he must pretend to hate children to get Amy to insist they have their own brood. She must think that having a gaggle of children is her idea or it will never happen. David’s willpower is put to the test when Amy volunteers them to babysit for her SBC (single by choice) friend. Will David be able to resist sniffing the baby’s head? How can you, when it smells like fresh bread and dreams of the future?

Manhattan Love StoryMeanwhile, Peter and Dana’s reservation has been bumped for a celebrity eight-year-old’s party. Right after they case the joint for a Suri sighting, Dana insists that they eat oysters somewhere else. Too bad neither of them saw the rather large C- restaurant inspection rating in the window at Rotundo’s down the street. What could go wrong? A dozen half shells, please!

After dinner, Peter invites Dana back to his place. Both know where this evening is going. As Peter puts Dana in a cab, we get our first clue that things may not be as desirable as one would hope. That clue comes in the form of some major rumbling from Peter’s abdominal region. As any red-blooded male would do, he powers through the makeout session in the back of the cab, calls it foreplay, and silently thanks New York City for some conveniently placed potholes.

When he and Dana bust through his door, they are greeted by Chloe and a dude named Izzy. Peter makes introductions in record time, explains that no, he does not live with his sister, becomes annoyed that Chloe crashes at his place just because it’s close to work, and is visibly relieved when Dana leaves to freshen up.

Chloe: You don’t look good. You’re all sweaty.

Peter: That’s my pre-sex sheen.

Chloe rolls her eyes and tickles her brother before he kicks her out. This is not a smart move when you’re battling a local variety of Montezuma’s revenge.

Back at the babysitter’s club, Amy is slowly losing her mind with all the crying and spit up. She officially announces that David was right: They should not have kids. They should be the fabulously awesome couple that people with children become jealous of when they show pictures of all the amazing places they’ve visited. Soon David cracks and blurts out that he wants a ton of kids.

David: I want children. When your womb wears out, we will collect them like stamps.

As luck would have it, Amy was just messing with him. She also wants kids, and they agree to bless the world with their offspring three years from now. Oh, happy day!

Speaking of happy day, Peter is not having one. He lights a candle, belches up the remnants of a funky oyster, begins to undress, gawks at Dana’s bra, meanders over in her direction, and just as he’s about to pay her a sweet compliment, he yacks all over her feet.

Huh. I’ve never seen that happen in the fantasy suite of The Bachelor. Sure, I’ve seen it tons of times preceding the rose ceremony, but never in a moment like this. What are the odds of Dana accepting his rose now?

Dana politely steps over the puke to once again freshen up in the bathroom. Peter laments that this entire exchange has been completely embarrassing. He offers to walk Dana downstairs to put her in a cab.

Peter: I’m sure I can do that. If not, leave me on the street to die.

Dana offers to stay. Peter assumes this means that she’s still willing to get horizontal … only Dana was just being nice. Her offer was to take care of Peter. Neither admits that sex is the last thing they want to do, so Peter promises to brush his teeth with bleach before going the distance. Dana forces a smile. Soon that smile fades, her tummy rumbles, and before Peter knows it, she pushes him out of the bathroom to throw up.

I can’t believe I’m about to write this, but the next moments were actually quite endearing. Sure, Dana and Peter are ralphing their guts out, but there is a tenderness that surfaces between hot flashes. He tries to open a window for her, but is too weak. She wears one of his T-shirts and boxers. He writes her a puking song and plays it on the guitar. She wipes his brow with his underwear.

Dana: I couldn’t find a clean washcloth, so I’m using your underpants.
Peter: Are they clean or dirty?
Dana: Does it really matter right now?

Peter reveals that tossing his cookies all night long with Dana was one of the most intimate nonsexual encounters he’s ever had with a woman. He knows way more about her than he would ever know if they had just had sex. Dana agrees. Both give each other a look, share a smile, then lean in for a kiss.

And both decide they should brush their teeth before making another move. Good call. Dana gets up, heads to the bathroom, and finds Peter’s dad standing there naked.

Dana: I’ve seen your father naked before I’ve seen you naked. I think I’m going to go home now. I’m not giving up forever, but I’m giving up for today. Thank you for dinner.

It’s like they always say: A couple that blows chunks together stays together.

Manhattan Love Story airs Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30C on ABC.

TV Families

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; }; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['header-cm-ad_223x92']['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad_223x92']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> <!-- /.header-cm-ad_223x92 --> </span> </div> </header><!-- #masthead --> <div id="people-time-health-banner"><div id="ad-time-health"></div></div> <div id="site__content" class="site__content"> <main role="main"> <article id="post-588800" class="article-single post-588800 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-article category-music creative-work-11730"> <header class="article-header"> <h2 class="article-header__subchannel channel__color--color"><a class="channel__color--color" href="/article/">Article</a></h2><h1 class="article-header__title">000</h1><p class="article-header__byline"><a href="http://ew.com/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/" aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" 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[]; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] = window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds'] || {}; window.time_dfp.push( function() { time_dfp.defineSlot(window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250'])}); if ( 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] || 'undefined' === typeof window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] ) { window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250'] = {}; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['default'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; }; // Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['hp_300x250']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdhp_300x250'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdhp_300x250']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> </div> <div class="article-single__content"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type:</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status:</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <div class="article-body__show-full"> <button id="button--show-full" class="channel__color--background-color" type="button">Show Full Article</button> </div> </div> <!-- template: article-footer --> <footer class="article-footer"> <div class="articles-recirculation articles-recirculation--footer articles-recirculation--see-also channel__color--border-color"> <!-- template: article-footer-section-title --> <h2 class="article-footer__section-title channel__color--border-color article-footer__section-title--third-party"> <div class="article-footer__section-title-inner-wrap"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-span"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-more article-footer__section-title-more--" data-mobile-title=""> sponsored stories </span> </span> </div> </h2> <div class="ob-widget-wrapper " 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