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'Selfie' recap: Don't always trust recommendations

Season 1 | Episode 3 | “With a Little Yelp from My Friends” | Aired Oct 14, 2014

We already know that Eliza’s phone is basically another extension of her body. She literally eats, sleeps, and breathes with it attached to her. However, she’s actually trying to take Henry’s advice and pay more attention to people without the use of her phone. She meets up with him one morning at work and remembers to ask him how he’s doing. He then goes into a long-winded spiel about every single detail about his morning.  Even though Eliza tries to maintain eye contact to show interest, her mind starts to wander. Henry catches her in the act and demands her to turn over her phone. Eliza’s response: She licks her phone.

At a staff meeting (where an out-of-nowhere blind joke was made), Mr. Saperstein wants to increase coworker connectivity. He does this by having them read an interview about Channing Tatum and rate how close they feel to one another on a scale of 1 to 10. Many of the coworkers seem rather happy with each other and feel somewhat connected, even if they don’t know each other very well. However, when Joan, the employee sitting next to Eliza, is told to grade her, she gives her a zero, saying that Eliza won’t even notice her because she’s on her phone all the time.

Henry finds Eliza eating lunch over a trash can, which she claims helps her digest better since she’s eating standing up. He confronts her over what happened at the meeting and she says she doesn’t care what everyone else thinks about her. After all, she has “perfectly symmetrical features and hair like Ariel.” Actually the real reason why she thinks Joan doesn’t like her is because of the time Eliza got “super duper hungs” and ate all of Joan’s gazpacho and is also currently eating Joan’s clearly marked sandwich. Henry is disgusted by this and tells her that her next assignment is to befriend Joan. Eliza’s reaction? Monokinis can’t be friends with miracle suits! (For the record, Henry would be an old-timey, long-sleeved bathing costume.)

Henry tries to show Eliza how he connects with Larry, another one of their coworkers. He makes some off-hand comments about his wife being a ball and chain. Eliza then tries this on Joan and fails miserably. Henry tells her to go do some research on her so she searches on social media for juicy details on Joan but comes up empty handed. “I went on MySpace and back and got jack. Apparently she’s Facebook-free, a Twitter quitter, and Insta-invisible.”

With some help however, she  discovers that Joan is a very influential Yelp reviewer with thousands of reviews. Eliza suddenly realizes that this is the key to Joan’s friendship. She decides to take a cardio dance class that she knows Joan will be attending. They soon bond over the fact that Eliza has basically memorized and agrees with Joan’s reviews. Eliza’s dancing isn’t on par with everyone in the class but you can tell she’s still having a lot of fun.


After the class, Eliza apologizes to Joan for eating her food and offers to buy her dinner.

Meanwhile, Henry finds out that Larry’s wife has left him. It turns out that Larry followed Henry’s attitude about his wife based on his passing “ball and chain” comment. Now Larry wants Henry to join him on all sorts of single guy adventures, which Henry is not happy about. However, Henry has to help because his boss tells him that he needs to stand by Larry and let him stay with him. It turns out that Larry does want his wife back but mistakes Henry’s advice for winning her back with the idea that he must do a flash mob.

Eliza seems to have finally won over Joan as they treat her husband with pizza from Joan’s favorite place. But then as he reaches for a garlic knot, Eliza bats his hand away and exclaims that he can’t eat it because he’s allergic to oregano. Knowing there’s no way Eliza could have known this, the couple starts to get suspicious. Joan asks Eliza what is across the street from the gas station they had talked about earlier. Eliza can’t fake her away out of this and guesses wrongly, causing Joan to know that she’s been Yelp-stalking her. Feeling actual sadness over the turn of events, Eliza hurriedly leaves the house disappointed.

The next day at the office, Henry is stopped by Charmonique, the receptionist, who immediately can tell Henry is wearing a breakaway suit and is planning a flash mob. She tells him that Larry always does this and his wife is not a fan of it at all. Realizing this is a bad idea, Henry rips off his suit in disgust.

He heads to his office only to find Eliza in there wanting to tell him that the whole thing with Joan was a disaster. After a weird subtle joke about Asians in sweatshops, Henry admits to her that he’s not that good with office friendships either and he actually finds Larry very annoying. Unfortunately he says this as Larry approaches him from behind. Awkward! Luckily for Henry, Larry still finds him influential and listens to his advice to win back his wife with a much smaller gesture, like flowers.

Lunch time arrives and Eliza’s eating by herself standing at a trashcan again when she’s summoned to Henry’s office. It turns out that he bought a trashcan just for her (it even matches her outfit!) because he didn’t want her to eat alone. She admits that she does this because she got used to it when no one wanted to join her for lunch growing up. Henry then stands up with her and they eat lunch together. They determine that their connectivity level is on average about a five, which, for them, is a good place to be.

This was a much better episode in terms of showing the relationship between Henry and Eliza. While it’s yet to be determined if there will be any sort of romantic tension between the two, for now it is refreshing that they can simply enjoy each other’s company and learn from each other. Henry’s gesture at the end seemed very thoughtful because it showed that while he doesn’t fully understand Eliza, he still gets her. Eliza shows some growth in this episode, though her clothing choices in the office are still driving me nuts. Then again, none of the superiors other than Henry are saying anything to her, so I guess I can’t complain too much.

The show’s growing on me as is Karen Gillan’s American accent. The weird off-color jokes need to be tamed. They just seem like cheap attempts for humor, which isn’t needed because there is other funny material in the show.

Selfie airs Tuesdays 8/7C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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