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What in Lorde's name happened on 'South Park'?

Season 18 | Episode 3 | “The Cissy” | Aired Oct 8, 2014

Cartman dramatically narrates, “No one notices what I have in my front pocket—a little surprise for them all.” And we’re already creeped out. He says they’ll pay for pushing him, so when Cartman pulls a little pink bow from his pocket and places it on his head, we are relieved for a moment—until he heads to the girls’ bathroom. We know this can’t be good.

1803_cartman-calls-stan-a-sissyHe tells Principal Victoria that he is “trans-ginger,” and says he “lives a life of torture and confusion because society sees him as a boy,” but he’s really a girl. He then refuses to go to the bathroom with the “cis-gingers,” which Mr. Garrison defines as “the politically correct name for people who aren’t transgender.” 1607-cartman-finds-love-1

Picking up where the episode left off last week, Spin magazine reporter Brandon Carlyle visits the Broflovski home and inquires about Lorde’s appearance at the party, then asks why such a huge star would play at such a small venue. Nobody has answers.

While doing laundry, Mrs. Marsh discovers fishnet stockings inside Randy’s jeans. Randy has a secret: He is Lorde.

Meanwhile, at South Park Elementary, Cartman is up to the same charade. When he makes the girls feel uncomfortable in their own bathroom, Principal Victoria agrees to clear out the janitor’s closet and gives Cartman his own bathroom. “Are you talking about my own special executive bathroom?” Cartman asks. He then proceeds to plan his new, special “other” bathroom, which is furnished with string lights, lace, and a Clapper, in true Fifty Shades–style. 200_s (8)

Wendy2The next day, Wendy comes to school dressed in a jean vest, with her hair cut short and her name changed to “Wendell.” Principal Victoria says Cartman, now referred to as “Erica,” must share the bathroom with Wendell.  And he is not happy about it.

He tells Stan that Stan is a girl because his girlfriend is attracted to girls. Totally sensible logic. In a seemingly never-ending ripple effect, Stan sees his father for advice: “Dad, is it possible for someone to be one way on the outside but totally different on the inside?”

That is when Randy actually says it: “I am Lorde.” But how did he become this musical sensation? Well, it all started so Randy could gain access to the women’s bathroom at work. While in that bathroom, he started singing and writing, and one thing lead to another. Thanks to autotune and drum loops, his voice and music were transformed into the music audiences hear on The Hunger Games soundtracks. Well, that escalated quickly.

This just confuses Stan more, and he decides to use the “other” bathroom. Of course, this really ticks Cartman off: “We have a problem with cis-gingers who are intolerant … We call them cis-ies!”

When the folks at the office ask Randy (aka Lorde) to use an “executive bathroom,” Randy is confused about his identity once again, and E! News announces that Lorde hasn’t been heard from for days. But Sharon gives him a pep talk: “If I could talk to Lorde … I’d tell her not to let people change who she is. If people are making fun of her, it’s probably because they’ve lost touch with being human.” Cue inspirational music followed by new “Lorde” music, which the record executives and the kids listen to. Randy is Lorde yet again, and all is right in the world of pop.

Cartman-MilkFinally, Principal Victoria announces that they are getting rid of the transgender bathroom and letting the kids go in whichever one they feel the  most comfortable.

“I don’t wanna use the girls’ bathroom if anyone can use it. It’s gonna be all crowded!” Cartman yells—but he’s not heard over the crowd of cheering students. Then Principal Victoria says there will be a designated bathroom for those who are bothered by sharing a bathroom with transgender people, to keep them separated from the “normal people who don’t care.”

The episode ends with Stan going into the “cis-ies” bathroom and singing. Will he take after his father’s musical footsteps?

The Tally

So bizarre: Randy is Lorde. This is still fresh, no matter how much he sings “Ya ya ya.”

Sharon’s wisdom: “Lorde represent1608-sarcastaball-2s something in all of us. A truth that wants to be heard.”

Bathroom humor: The entire episode is one big bathroom joke. Sixty-five percent of it takes place in the bathroom. And 65 percent of the time spent in the bathroom is filled with the sounds of urination or farting.

Butters says the darndest things: “He is not a girl. He is not a man. He is something you will understand. But he would die for me.”

Best Craigism: “You can’t call dibs on a toilet.”

Deeper message: Don’t judge others for being who they are, unless you want to be called a “cis-y.”

 South Park, rated TV-MA, airs Wednesdays at 10/9C on Comedy Central.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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