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'Witches of East End' finale recap: This ends now

Season 2 | Episodes 12, 13 | “Box to the Future” and “For Whom the Spell Tolls” | Aired Oct 5, 2014

Mädchen Amick wasn’t kidding when she warned us to stay tuned until the final moments of the Witches of East End season finale. It definitely kept me on the edge of my seat, pointing at my TV screen shouting, “SHUT UP!” or “I KNEW IT!” Joanna’s mantra the entire two hours consisted of three words: This ends now.

And boy, did a lot of things end. Let’s power through the first hour, shall we?

The Beauchamps are still in 1840. Joanna has gone to meet her former self and Ingrid in the cemetery so she can commandeer the magical soul-sucking box. Then it’s back through the time door to kill the King. No problem.

Aunt Wendy lost the magical key to the time door. If they don’t find it in the next hour, they will be stuck in 1840. But it won’t really matter because they will die anyway. Happy thoughts!

While helping Aunt Wendy look for the time-door key, Freya runs into Edgar Allan Poe. We learn that one of Freya’s gifts is to recognize Killian’s soul when it’s in another incarnation. This should come in handy later!

Tarkoff follows Joanna into the woods. After she gets the soul-sucking box from her other self, Tarkoff attacks her, grabs the box, and disappears. This should be fun.

Killian begins hallucinating after taking the potion that is going to kill him. He passes out and sees Freya in a dream. She hands him a handful of flowers and instructs him to call Ingrid. He wakes up groggy, sweating, and barely able to pick up his phone. He’s totally got this.

Witches of East End

Ingrid rushes over to help Killian, certain that his dream was actually a vision from Freya advising him to ingest lotus root. It will slow down the process but not stop it. Ingrid tells him to take the medicine every 15 minutes. Then she leaves him because there’s something she has to do. What could go wrong?

When he’s not kissing his grandfather’s butt, Freddie is tattling on Ingrid. It appears that she has doubts because Dash (aka Bastian from Asgard—hello, new information!) is talking her out of going back to Asgard. No one suspects you at all, Freddie!

King Nicholas
Grandfather is not happy to hear his granddaughter is frolicking with Bastian. He must send a message. But his current state is too weak. For some reason, transforming from Old Man King to Hot Tommy makes him stronger. I’ll take it!

King Nicholas arrives at Fair Haven and tells Dash that he misses the old Bastian. The King knows Dash has “tasted blood,” and he also knows he enjoyed it. The King offers to reward Dash with riches and power if he remains loyal. Dash later confesses to Ingrid that her grandfather came for a visit, threatened him, and therefore must be stopped. Ingrid’s brilliant idea is to reconstitute the ashes of the evil, dark, and twisty magic books they burned weeks ago. The only way to kill a dark warlock is to use dark magic. That’s right! Give the guy with anger issues an entire journal full of evil spells. Great idea!

Joanna, Wendy, and Freya all reconvene at the saloon. Joanna is hot that she lost the box to Tarkoff, and when she spies him at the bar, she tells the others to meet her at the time door in 10 minutes. She’s about to open a can on Tarkoff. He tries to sway her with sweet nothings like, “Let’s kill your father together,” and, “I’m your only chance to survive.” When Joanna tells him to drop dead, he pulls out the creepy talisman made of her hair and she is knocked unconscious.

Meanwhile, Aunt Wendy has located the missing key. There’s only one problem. It’s tucked away safely in the ample bosom of 1840 Wendy. Current Freya enlists the help of Edgar Alan Poe to flirt his way into Aunt Wendy’s bustier. After a slap to the face, Edgar turns to hand the key over to Freya.

Back at Fair Haven, Detective Raven shows up in her trench coat. Not so fast, Dash. She’s here on business, not pleasure. She begins peppering him with questions about Archibald Browning and how Fair Haven’s history is full of witchcraft and occult ceremonies. She goes on to say that East End is strange, with all the murdering going on, and it’s weird that Dash lives in the smack-dab center of it all.

Raven: Are you sure there’s nothing you want to tell me?
Dash: Go upstairs and take off your clothes.

And she does. She also takes the dark and twisty journals that are just sitting there. HIDE THE DARK AND TWISTY JOURNALS, PEOPLE!

Over at the Beauchamp house, King Nicholas requests a one-on-one with his granddaughter. It turns out, Grandfather is not happy that she went over to Dash’s house. She must be disciplined. Later, she wakes up after hours of torture. Ingrid glares at King Nicholas and he smiles.

The King: I took it easy on you because of your condition.

Excuse me, what?!

The King: You’re having a baby, my child.

I did not see that coming. Is it Dash’s? Or the Mandragora? Will her baby have rage issues? Or a tail?

Ingrid asks why her grandfather doesn’t just kill the family and be done with it? The King reveals that he needs one thing from each of the Beauchamp women: their powers. Guess what? He’s already taken Ingrid’s.

The King begins monologuing about the wonder that is Asgard. Freddie slowly creeps up behind him with a dagger, convinced he is seconds away from killing his grandfather. The rest of us knew better. The King turns and shoves the dagger into Freddie’s gut.

Freddie is not the only one having a bad afternoon. Freya and Wendy reach the time door and it isn’t there. When Freya complains that 1840 doesn’t have text-messaging capabilities, Wendy has an idea. They will write a letter (just wait) and then they will wait for Joanna.

Too bad Joanna is paralyzed. Tarkoff shoots her up with drugs, tells her he loves her, then seduces her. It was disturbing. The concoction soon runs out and Tarkoff is forced to go get some more.

Witches of East End

Detective Raven is back at Fair Haven per Dash’s request. He demands she give him back the dark and twisty journals; she claims to not know what he is talking about. What she does know is that there are five federal agents outside, and there’s a search warrant in her hand.

Later that day, Freddie wakes up, heals himself, and heads to Dash’s house with Ingrid. They are furious when Dash tells them he has no idea where the journals are, and Ingrid is even more angry when he admits that he read every single one. It turns out this is a good thing. Freddie can pull information from Dash’s brain just by placing his hands on his head and chanting. Convenient!

Things aren’t getting better for Joanna. She’s managed to crawl across the room, trying to reach the talisman, but Tarkoff tackles her before she can get to it. Luckily, Aunt Wendy transforms from her cat state (Tarkoff can’t hear cat’s thoughts) and hits him over the head, stabs him with the syringe full of paralyzing juice, and incinerates the talisman. Aunt Wendy to the rescue!

At the same time in the present day, Ingrid has figured out why King Nicholas wants the Beauchamp powers. But she’s going to need her mom, sister, and aunt to stop him. Suddenly there’s a knock at the door. The same man who took Wendy and Freya’s letter was standing there. He had been carrying it for 166 years. The girls need Ingrid’s help to get back.

Cut back to 1840. Freya is frantic as Wendy and Joanna run through the streets, with Tarkoff close behind. Ingrid opens a new time door and calls them all to her. Just as the last one flies through the opening, the door closes and Tarkoff eats brick wall.

The family reunion celebration lasts about six seconds before Aunt Wendy vanishes. Ingrid fills everyone in. Grandpa wants their powers. He’s already taken hers and she’s learned that they all have unique gifts. There’s the traveler (Freya), the key (Ingrid), the dagger (Joanna), and the bridge (Wendy.) If they all work together, they can defeat the King. Freddie is instructed to stay at Fair Haven for his safety. Yeah, right.

The King mentally abuses Wendy, telling her that he took away her ability to have children because he wanted to spare them from the horror of having her as a mother. He also said that she was his least favorite of his children. She dares him to kill her. He admires her bravado.

Witches of East EndEnter slow-motion witches, ready to throw down. Joanna, Ingrid, Freya, and even Wendy attack the King with their unique powers. After putting up a good fight, King Nicholas morphs away and Tommy’s body drops to the ground—dead. Wendy asks for a minute alone. That’s not a good sign.

Ingrid decides that this is the best moment to fill Freya in about her dying boyfriend. Scratch that: her dead boyfriend. Freya and Ingrid find Killian’s body on his bed. Freya leans over and kisses the corpse, Snow White–style. And in true Snow White form, Killian wakes up! Let’s hear it for true love! Ingrid interrupts the kissing couple with news from a disturbing phone call. Dash has been arrested.

Joanna calls Freddie and doesn’t seem a bit concerned that her son isn’t answering his phone during this time of crisis. She leaves a message telling him that his grandfather is dead. Guess who else is dead?

Freddie. In the Fair Haven attic. With a dagger to the gut. And a lovely message written in blood next to his body that reads, “Death to witches.”

Now, who in East End hates witches? Should the show introduce any other supernatural folk in season 3? Perhaps a pack of werewolves or a vampire clan?

Aunt Wendy leans over Tommy’s body. A Snow White kiss doesn’t work on him, but she does have something that will. She transfers her last life into Tommy’s body and collapses right beside him. Her necklace turns black.


Killian shows up at the jailhouse to basically tell his brother that he wants to punch him in the face. Dash grabs him through the bars and begins chanting something he memorized from the dark and twisty journal. After a few moments, it’s evident that Dash has switched bodies with Killian. Someone has to go down for murder, and it isn’t going to be him. No one will ever know. He leaves the cell, scoops Freya up in an embrace, and passionately kisses her in front of Dash, who is now Killian.


In the last seconds of the episode, Wendy wakes up in the middle of a sea of fire. A figure walks up to her.

Woman: Good to see you again, sister.

2. That sister better get Aunt Wendy another nine lives, or she’ll have me to deal with.

What did you think of the season finale? Is King Nicholas dead? Is Freddie dead? Will Aunt Wendy stay dead? Could there be any more death on this show? Will Freya and Killian ever get to be Frillian?

Here’s looking forward to securing season 3!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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