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'Criminal Minds' recap: Jennifer Love-Hewitt debuts in premiere

Season 10 | Episode 1 | “X” | Aired Oct 1, 2014

After a season of terrorist torture, near-misses, and cast members hitting the bricks, it’s back to work for our friends at the BAU. The big news is the return of Jennifer Love-Hewitt to network TV as the newest member of our favorite team of FBI profilers. Can she fill the void left by Jeanne Tripplehorn at the end of season 9? Let’s find out!

The pilot opens on a small boy playing around a dusty shack in the middle of Bakersfield, California. And what does he see in the middle of the room? Nothing big. Just a human torso missing arms and legs. As the kid runs off, we see a mysterious figure washing a knife and a severed leg.

We next get introduced to Kate Callahan (Jennifer Love-Hewitt), who’s working her old job as a sexual crimes agent. Using charm and natural sexuality, she successfully lures a pedophile into a waiting trap of FBI agents. It’s a great introduction to the character. She reminded me of Elle from the original two seasons: smart and sassy, with a touch of East Coast swagger.

Later at the BAU office, the crew is buzzing over a series of agent interviews that Hotchner has been conducting. Kate is the latest one and after a very quick conversation, she gets the job. She’s shocked at the speed, but there’s no time for formalities in the BAU. A new case has come in. It’s time to get to work.

We learn that the California police have found three torsos over the past month and have dubbed this killer the “Mad Butcher of Bakersfield.” Reports show each victim was alive for a couple of days before dying, yet there’s no DNA on any of the bodies. They theorize sexual gratification, but need more evidence before hashing together a profile.

Back in Cali, the kid who found the torso hugs his dad and leaves for school. The dad then heads to the basement, opens a large trunk, and removes a frozen human leg. As he lovingly caresses it, we get our first chill of the season. He’s planning some hanky-panky with his new trophy.

Hotch and Kate

After a quote by Edgar Allen Poe, the team plans its attack. Since there’s no obvious link between the three torsos, some ground work is required. Hotchner gives the team marching orders and they head off.

Morgan and Reid arrive at the medical examiner’s office to ask some questions. They learn the females were all relatively athletic and the unsub must have had some experience with medical procedures. Reid then discovers how methodical the killer really is: He’s gone so far as to remove the victim’s breast implants to hide their traceable serial number.

On their way to the crime scene, David and Kate talk backstory. As they chat about her impressive career, Kate shows a casual ease about her when the guns aren’t drawn. Quick with a joke but deadly serious when it counts, she’ll be a nice addition to the team.

The sites offer a few clues. The remote location and his meticulous nature indicate that their target is neither a sadist nor a compulsive, which goes against the original profile. David thinks he’s an obsessive who is likely to come back and admire his handiwork. As David calls Hotchner with the info, we see someone looking down at the site with a drawing in hand.

While Reid, Morgan, and Garcia do some researching on the preservatives found on the bodies, creepy dad is back in his creepy basement with his creepy leg. After his son nearly discovers his prized possession, the doorbell rings. It’s David and Kate on the other end. Garcia sent them a list of every resident who may have bought a similar compound recently, and creepy dad is the next cold call.

After some questions, the dad refuses to let them in. As David and Kate argue over who will get to arrest him, the dad drives away with his frozen leg in the passenger seat. Luckily the cops find and arrest him with more damning evidence: There are two more legs in his trunk.

Group 2

While this looks like an open-and-shut case, something isn’t right. In the interrogation room, the dad is nervous. He’s concerned for his kids, finds Kate callous, and professes love for his family. Even his wife knew about his leg fetish, but never suspected murder. He even succumbs to David and Kate’s good cop/bad cop routine. He just doesn’t feel like a serial killer.

Then the other shoe drops: He didn’t kill anybody. He bought the leg online. Turns out dear old dad is an acromotophiliac who buys his playthings online from unknown vendors. The dad is a weirdo, but he’s not the unsub.

The team then gives its profile. The cops are looking for a smart yet socially awkward man. While being clumsy, he’s also methodical and loves his privacy. He may have recently lost his job and could have some connection with the victims.

As Hotchner cautions the police that the killer is certain to find another person to maim, we watch the unsub drag a barely alive young woman to a table. He’s found his next target.

Garcia, after some banter with Kate about adorable cat videos, combs through all the fetish sites the dad was visiting. It looks like there’s a whole network of people who dig getting their freak on with severed limbs. After cross-referencing the information from the medical examiner, they realize the unsub must have had experience around bodies. This would explain why he’s so methodical and detached when carving up his victims. The main hit is a man by the name of Dylan Meyers.

With a name and an address, the team barge into Dylan’s home to find it unoccupied. They find his drawings strewn about, but no record or clue as to where he is. And it’s too bad, as the next scene is a grisly moment of arm amputation. Dylan gags the girl, ties a tourniquet around her arm, and hacks it off with a solid THWACK.

After the commercials, the team is slowly uncovering the truth about Dylan: he doesn’t quite match the profile. Thanks to family pictures all over the apartment, he’s too attached to be a methodical killer.


Meanwhile, the victim is being cared for by Dylan as she recovers from the amputation. She asks him his name, caresses his cheek, and does everything she can to gain favor with him. Oddly and outside the profile, he gives in to her tenderness.

But then, a breakthrough! Hotchner discovers a picture of Dylan sporting a tattoo that matches the first victim. Dylan isn’t the name of the unsub. It’s the name of the first victim! Starting with real Dylan, they work their way through the three victims and discover the killer’s real identity. With a real name and a real address, the hunt is on!

As the team races to rescue the girl, she has finally convinced the unsub to untie her and take her for a walk. Unbound, she attacks him and runs screaming into the woods. As he gives chase, she runs toward the approaching sirens and falls safely into Agent David’s arms.

Kate, JJ, and Hotchner then go on the hunt for the killer. After a few minutes of tense sneaking around, the unsub gets the drop on Kate and gives her a solid slice. But before he can make our new cast member a guest star, Hotchner puts him down with a well-timed shot.

As the team flies back to Quantico, Kate is mixing in nicely. She, Derek, and JJ share war stories and laugh about their adventures in on-the-job injuries.

Back in the office, Kate tells Hotchner that she’s not convinced the now-deceased unsub was the lone attacker. Hotchner gives Kate some sound advice: In this game, once the case is solved, let it go. But as Hotchner closes the file, it’s clear he agrees with her. Something is not right.

Our final moment with Kate in episode 1 is of her coming home to a high school girl passed out on the couch from a night of studying. After a chat and a hug, the girl responds to “I love you” by saying, “I love you too, Kate.” Note that she called her “Kate,” not “Mom.” An interesting dynamic that may add more drama in the coming shows.

But there’s one last moment. On a sunny suburban street, a young woman stops her run to give directions to a driver. As she’s talking, she’s smashed in the head and dragged into the vehicle. And as we watch a parade of creepers search online for new body parts, only to find everything sold out, the kidnapped girl appears online with the label “Ready to Bid.” It looks like Kate’s instincts were right all along. It’s a wonderful final twist to a great opening episode of Criminal Minds‘ 10th season.

Criminal Minds airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on CBS.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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