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'Face Off' recap: Freaks and geeks

Season 7 | Episode 711 | “Teacher’s Pets” | Aired Sept 30, 2014

School’s back in session on Face Off! After three weeks in a row of creepy, scary, and gross challenges, it’s finally back to something light and fun. The contestants meet McKenzie at a high school. (In front of some of those cool outside lockers that they have at every high school in California, if TV and movies have taught me anything.)

McKenzie explains that movies like Teen Wolf, Twilight, and Harry Potter have shown that it’s hard to go to high school no matter what cool powers you have. So this week, the contestants are making a fantasy version of a high school student. Everyone picks a creature and a corresponding clique.

The class consists of the following students:

Rachael: Cheerleader faun

Cig: Nerd minotaur

Dina: Nerd goblin

Stella: Emo minotaur

Sasha: Cheerleader cyclops

Drew: Faun emo

George: Jock goblin

10400110_1105107751082_3040618_nAs an added bonus this episode, we get to see everyone’s high school pictures! In solidarity, here is a photo of me in my high school production of Cats. (I did my own makeup and should obviously try out to be a contestant next season.) Unsurprisingly, these photos reveal that most of the Face Off contestants were art kids in high school. We also discovered that George was ADORABLE as a teenager.

Everyone starts sketching, and there are some great concepts right away. Dina makes her goblin a band geek, with big glasses and permed hair. Cig is creating a stereotypical nerd who gets called a “gingertaur.” Drew is essentially creating Glenn as a faun, and Stella is working on an overweight goth girl. And Sasha is most definitely not making a cyclops. I don’t think that Sasha actually knows what “cyclops” means, since she is covering her entire cheerleader’s head in eyes, instead of one large, solitary eye … as featured on all other cyclops throughout the history of time. When McKenzie and Mr. Westmore stop by, they explain what “cyclops” implies, and Mr. Westmore suggests that Sasha try making one giant eye in the middle of its face—or you know, making a cyclops.

Rachael tries to keep her makeup subtle. She’s creating giant ears and working on double joints for her faun’s legs. George and Dina have decided that their goblin characters are brother and sister. George’s creation will have a giant flattop and is your typical dumb jock. Note: I am requiring George to speak in his Doug Oblin character voice for the remainder of the season.

Stella’s mold is still damp, so she can’t get it open when she wants to. Rather than waiting until the next day, Stella decides to open it with 10 minutes left no matter what. She gets her mold open easily, but the dampness creates a lot of holes and bubbles, which Stella must repair during applications.

On application day, Cig works hard on creating realistic freckles for his nerdy minotaur. Dina’s goblin is the cutest thing I have ever seen. And Rachael is worried that her makeup may be too subtle—especially after she has to ditch her heavy horns at last looks.

At the reveal stage, some of the characters are popular and some aren’t. (See, it’s just like high school!) Sasha’s “cyclops” looks like an alien, not a mythical creature. Its multiple eyes don’t even have pupils; they’re just black. George’s goblin is very blocky and doesn’t actually look like a goblin at all. And without her horns, Rachael’s cheerleader has lost its faun elements.

Dina’s band geek and Stella’s goth girl are safe, along with Sasha’s cheerleader, to the surprise of both me and Sasha. The rest of the class are the top and bottom looks.

710 (6)Top Looks:

Winner: Drew

Cig

Bottom Looks:

Rachael

George

The judges loved Cig’s details and the expression on his minotaur’s face. But Drew’s forms (especially his nose) and his personal twist on his character won him the challenge. Huge props also to Drew’s model, who has the dramatic teenage sighs and hair flips down to a science. (I would not be surprised to discover that his model was an angsty teen in his youth.) Unfortunately, Drew doesn’t mention that Glenn was his inspiration. How I would have loved to see Glenn’s face when he heard that.

photo (1)George’s form does not communicate “goblin” to the judges (or anyone else). But Rachael’s applications weren’t strong enough to support such a subtle makeup. And her strongest faun features—her ears—were hidden by her model’s voluminous wig. These mistakes sent her home.

Were you happy to get back to a fun challenge? Which mythical clique would you have been in? And does anyone else want to share their high school photos?

Face Off airs Tuesdays at 9/8C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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