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'Black-ish' recap: Andre struggles with 'the talk'

Season 1 | Episode 2 | “The Talk” | Aired Oct 1, 2014

Are you a parent who has had “the talk” with your child? Was it tough? No matter how embarrassing you thought it was to speak with your children about sex, you probably weren’t as bad as Andre was when communicating to his son about the birds and the bees on this episode of black-ish.

Poor Andre walks in on Andre Jr. having a dance by himself (by the way: if you wondered what Billy Idol meant by “Dancing with Myself”—what Andre was doing was what Idol meant). After avoiding a heart attack from shock, Andre decides that he must have the talk with his son. But, news flash: Rainbow has already discussed sex with Andre Jr. As Rainbow says, the kids open up to her more, to which Andre Sr. retorts that one kid isn’t opening up to her (their oldest daughter, Zoe). In true sitcom fashion, a challenge arises between the parents. If Rainbow gets Zoe to talk to her, Andre will talk to Andre Jr. about sex.

Andre takes the worst route possible when it comes to talking to his son about sex. First, he knocks to make sure that the bed’s not rockin’. Second, he takes off his shirt. For no reason. Supposedly it’s to show that Andre, who grew up in such a repressive household that he never saw Pops without shoes on, is perfectly comfortable talking about sex. Third, Andre gives advice that couldn’t be further from the sex talk. As Rainbow says, it’s more like pimp talk than a proper, healthy talk about sex.

But Rainbow has her own problems. She can get Zoe to open up about her problems, but Rainbow constantly zones out, congratulating herself in her head about getting Zoe to talk instead of actually listening. Each time Zoe ends her statements, Rainbow is left in the dark, not knowing what she’s supposed to give advice about. Every day, Rainbow tries to pull ninja conversation moves on Zoe to glean the smallest of crumbs about about the situation at hand. But she never gets anywhere.

Meanwhile, Andre realizes that by opening up to his son, he’s created a “sex-talking machine.” There is no off switch to Andre Jr.’s mouth with it comes to sex. What his friends have told him, what he’s looked up on the Internet, what gets him excited—nothing is off limits when it comes to Andre Jr. Finally Andre Sr. has had it. After at least four days of nonstop talk and a lack of shirts, Andre resorts to hiding from his son in the laundry room.

Both Rainbow and Andre realize that they’re in over their heads and decide to just be honest with their kids. Rainbow tells Zoe that she has no idea what Zoe has told her. Zoe says she realized this long ago and went to Pops with her problem. Apparently Pops, who had been telling Andre throughout the episode to not give long talks and advice, gave her just the info she needed. However, when Rainbow rushes to Pops to get the lowdown on Zoe-gate, Pops states that even he has no idea what Zoe what talking about; he just gave generic advice.

Andre Sr. finally tells Andre Jr. to stop telling him everything about his budding sex life. Andre states that the day-to-day stuff is what Rainbow lives for, and Andre Jr. can tell his mom whatever he wants when it comes to sex. But as for Andre Sr.? He’s here just for the big, momentous stuff.

Feeling satisfied, Andre Sr. goes to Pops to say that he’s handled the situation. Pops is adamant about his advice, which is to not give advice—he didn’t advise Andre on the facts of life (apart from setting a box of condoms in his room), and look how he turned out. But Andre takes Pops’ stoicism to mean that he wished he had given Andre the talk when Andre was a child, and that he’s glad Andre did things differently. Perhaps that’s what Pops meant. It’s hard to tell.

While all of this is going on, the twins, Jack and Diane, are trying to get their parents to notice them and give them the special treatment the talk affords. They believed they’d get attention by staying in their room all day like Andre Jr. Of course, after staying in bed for a whole day with no one coming to check on them, they decide to address their parents directly. When they go to their mom, she’s too busy ignoring them because she’s focusing so much on being a good listening mom to Zoe. With no one talking to them, they decide to give themselves a talk … about something. Remember, they’re little kids, so they don’t know what “the talk” even is. When Jack starts talking about the difference between jam and jelly, Diane stops him mid-sentence, already bored with the conversation.

What did you think about this episode? How uncomfortable was the talk for you when you were growing up (or when you gave one to your kids)?

Black-ish airs Wednesdays at 9:30/8:30C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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