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Suzanne Tenner/SHOWTIME

Image Credit: Suzanne Tenner/SHOWTIME

Ray Donovan takes care of business like nobody's business

Season 2 | Episode 12 | “The Captain” | Aired Sept 28, 2014

In life, things happen in threes. In Ray Donovan’s life, things happen in thirteens. The morning after his outburst, Ray is out of prison. He checks his phone to see a few a lot of missed calls from Cookie. Not good. Lena tells him Terry has been arraigned, and he’s refusing to let Ray via Lena pay for his bail. Not good. Ray calls Cookie back; the call immediately goes to voicemail. Not good. Less than a couple of hours into his day, Ray already has enough to deal with for the rest of the week, let alone the day.

At the L.A. County Jail, Ray uses humor and guilt to convince a self-righteous Terry to take his bail money. Terry refuses, proclaiming he deserves to be in prison because he “hit a man who didn’t deserve it to get money.” Ray laughs, “Jesus Christ. Story of my life, Terry.” Ray shouldn’t sell himself too short—he hits men who do deserve it to get money too.

Ray finally gets hold of Cookie, only to discover the killer-rapper (or is it rapper-killer?) has already seen the video of Re-Kon and Marvin’s murders—in its entirety. With Bridget potentially in peril, Ray wants to talk with Cookie now. Cookie, on the other hand, has his family to worry about as he preps for his young son Alfonse’s birthday party. It might just be me, but I think their family concerns are not on the same level of urgency.

With Avi missing, Ray has Lena check on the family at home. In the Donovans’ Calabasas house (Trousdale, what?), Abbie considers a family move to Boston as a change of pace and a potential hiding spot from a formidable rap star. Jim shows up out of the blue. Bridget announces “Mom’s boyfriend” has arrived with less venom than she would have before her traumatic experience, clearly over the absurdity of her family’s drama. Not missing a beat, Conor chimes in, adding, “I want to meet him … Is this the guy dad said you could f— in your bed?” Kids say the darnedest things.

Jim’s visit is less eventful than his arrival. The not-so-clandestine “secret” couple argues over whether or not Jim can keep Abbie and the kids safe without eliminating Cookie. After all that’s transpired this season, Jim doesn’t seem to have any hidden agenda in getting close to Abbie. He doesn’t work for Cochran, Cookie, or even someone like Steve Knight. He’s just a random cop who hit on Abbie super-hard at the gun range, established a relationship with her despite knowing she’s married, and converted a guest room in his modest house into a potential bedroom for two spoiled teenagers to share if and when their mother moved in with him.

Wow. He must be so crazy, the writers have decided to save the good stuff for season 3.

Back in Boston, TFR returns home, picking up her piles of missed mail. With the camera pointing at the floor, I notice TFR wears sensible, but in reality feet-killing, flats. What’s that? That particular shot isn’t meant to emphasize her questionable footwear, but to build suspense to her inevitable death? Oh, OK. In true The Departed style, Avi shoots TFR square in the chest with his silenced gun. He’s been waiting for her in the apartment. He puts another in her head for good measure. He takes her bag and leaves, quiet as a mouse/former Mossad agent.

Ashley turns up at Ray’s office with a split lip, bleating for her sometime lover’s help, with her full-time lover Steve close behind her. Rage levels rising, Ray insists Ashley tell her the truth about Steve beating her. Continuing to blame the violence on Bob the stalker, Steve dodges Ray’s questions to tell him, “You’re beautiful when you’re angry.” The love/hate-fest is cut short when Lena interrupts them to tell Ray breaking news. TFR is dead, murdered in her own home.

Devastated, it doesn’t take Ray long to go on the warpath in retaliation. He heads to his safe and retrieves a tape, and tells Lena to get it to Marty at Stalkerazzi.

Ray helps Cochran’s head meet Cochran’s desk. Before Ray is taken out by the FBI (Ray, it’s the FBI! Not some loan sharks!), Cochran speaks to Ray alone. He tells him he didn’t kill TFR; he thought Ray had her “taken care of.” Oops. Cochran probably won’t be moving to D.C. anytime soon. Surely that won’t have any consequences for Ray in the next season.

Confronted with the truth of who is responsible for TFR’s death, Ray meets with Ezra. He provides the same explanation he gave to Avi: TFR was the Rodef. She was warned and suffered the consequences for not heeding the warnings. Ray reports the body buried at the RGOCC. It’s bad press for Ezra,  yes, yet won’t it eventually point back at Ray? This seems too obvious an oversight.

When Ray first visited Cookie’s house to discuss the video of the shooting, Cookie agreed they were square, once his $1 million has been returned. Cookie in full parent mode seems focused on Alfonse and his birthday celebration. Now the party is over. Ray brings the bag of cash back to Cookie’s house. Unpacking the wads of cash onto Cookie’s desk, Ray asks if he can be sure Bridget will be safe. Cookie says he can’t be sure. Wrong answer—Ray shoots Cookie dead from a gun concealed in the bag. Cookie’s henchmen didn’t check there during their halfhearted weapons check. So long, Cookie, one of Cookie’s henchmen, and $1 million in cash!

Because the day can’t end without a trip to the beach, Ray deals with Steve and Ashley once and for all. Responding to another of Ashley’s calls, Ray finds the duo staring at Bob the stalker’s dead body sprawled out onto the rocky shore beneath them. Steve wants Ray to get rid of the body. Ray wants Steve to crawl inside the trunk of a car until Ashley calls the police and tells them the truth. Ray knows how to get what he wants.

With so many Ray-centric stories wrapping up, Mickey’s final schemes of the season are rushed. Mickey and Daryll laboriously open the safe, only to find $20,000. After an ill-devised scheme involving Alan, Mickey and Daryll rough up the treacherous Ronald at the racetrack. Mickey hears another auditory hallucination from Linda via a racehorse, forgiving him for his past actions. Why? Because it’s the end of the season, and the writers are tired of this storyline, that’s why! The forgiving horse is called the Captain, and as such, Mickey takes it as a sign to bet all the money on him to win. The horse wins the race, and they win $1 million. Despite winning, Mickey alienates everyone—Daryll, Terry, and once and for all, Claudette—and leaves his apartment to go who knows where with only his cash and Shorty’s Miami Dolphins cap to keep him company.

Ray and Abbie end the season at home, together and apart, as per usual. The family is safe, secure, and just as emotionally scarred as ever. Early in the episode, Terry asks Ray, “What the f— do you know about being a good man?” Ray plays many roles. He is a murderer, father, extortionist, husband, adulterer, brother, bespoke suit enthusiast, son, borderline alcoholic, sexual abuse victim, fixer, and more. But can he play the role of a good man? What does it mean to be a good person, especially in a world of so much violence?

Stray Bullets

  • Lena gives Ray the best “Really?” face when he asks if she has a gun. Someone make a GIF of that expression, stat.
  • Daryll finally tells his dad what everyone knows and doesn’t explicitly state: “Mickey, you don’t have anything because you’re a f—ing asshole.” This was the original name for the show, but they decided to take it in a different, more succinct direction.
  • Cookie Brown may have started off as a tiresome stereotype, but he developed into a formidable yet often endearing villain. I’m glad he’s gone, but I thoroughly enjoyed his arc while it lasted.
  • Don’t get me started on how useless Ronald Keith is as a fully fleshed-out character. The show’s continued use of his character’s position and gambling habits as a plot device for other parts is a waste of Wendell Pierce’s talents.
  • Treading some uncomfortable, problematic territory, Bunchy’s arc this season has been successful overall. Relieved that he’s still attending SNAP meetings (a very welcome addition to the show in terms of its portrayal of how people can heal from trauma), I’m overjoyed that he came clean to Patty about his past and renewed his friendship with Stan. Plus, I continue to carry a torch for Bunchy/Stan. The look Stan gives Bunchy when he says, “It’s not like I’m in love with you, Bunchy,” gives me fangirl feelings wholly inappropriate for such a serious drama.
  • Jim isn’t a plant from Cochran or some other shady individual? Really? Really?!
  • Number of f-bombs dropped: 39.

Ray Donovan on Showtime

TV Families | EW.com

TV Families -- We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ''The Brady Bunch'' to ''The Flintstones''

By Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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