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True TV confessions

We’re heading into the fall TV season, and it’s the perfect time to pause and reflect on your TV viewing habits. Have you ever had to fake that you watch a watercooler TV show because you didn’t want to seem out of the pop-culture loop? Are you really into a television series that makes you feel others would laugh at you if they knew? Did you religiously watch every single episode of Cop Rock in 1990? (No, really, that was an actual show.)

Take heart. You are not alone! Consider this post a safe place for you to confess your deepest, darkest, most shameful TV-watching secrets. I polled EW’s Community contributors, and these brave souls offered up true TV confessions that would make your DVR weep and dial a hotline.

The first step is admitting you have a problem. Submit your own true TV confessions here in the comments, or Tweet them to me @JDotHarvey with the hashtag #TrueTVConfessions. We’ll make the best ones into memes and run them in our next “True TV confessions”!

The above is one of my mine. And yes, there is a cheesecake chilling in my fridge as I type this. Respect the bravery of my fellow contributors below.


“I like the show well enough, although I never understood the overwhelming praise. Rabid Community fans whining and crying about Dan Harmon’s exit/return, the show’s cancellation and its subsequent online return has made me not want to continue watching. It’s mildly amusing/witty at best and pretentious/overworked at worst.”

Marciela Gonzalez

“I also think The Walking Dead is the most overrated show on television.”

Shant Istamboulian

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“My husband started watching Breaking Bad after his buddies started nagging him: ‘Dude, you’re not watching Breaking Bad? What are you? Living under a rock?’ Nope. Living on the island of Manhattan, thanks. But I digress. We binge-watched three seasons on Netflix. It was slow to start but eventually picked up, hooking me, and then I lost interest. I know I will be skewered for saying this, but I quit Breaking Bad after Krysten Ritter’s character overdosed. Not because I have a girl-crush on Ritter (although she’s pretty badass), but because I could walk into any room of our apartment, and I could always tell when my husband was watching Breaking Bad; all I would hear blaring from the TV were explosions and cuss words.”

Kathryn Luttner

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“I started watching Scandal post-season 2 because the buzz was just too good to ignore, and I wanted to be caught up for season 3. I was initially hooked and interested to learn more about these characters, but as the second season progressed, I found each character to be more deplorable than the last. It was difficult to enjoy a show about a bunch of people whom I found it absolutely impossible to root for.”

Tamar Barbash

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“I’m a huge fan of Planet of the Apes, and I saw something very Apes-ish about it. The idea behind the show was, of course, to sell Geico Insurance, but there was also the underlying idea of discussing race relations, discrimination and (dare I say amid flying tomatoes) civil rights, under the guise of what these cavemen have to put up with in the modern world. The aspirations were in the vein of the issues the Apes series tackled (and still does with the new series). Did the show live up to such lofty goals? Of course not. I already knew its success was a long shot. But, like with the original Apes, I did enjoy the special-effects makeup.”

Monique Jones

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“It all started in fifth grade, when my mom and I were shopping in Target right after I got my report card. I had been watching Full House on Nick at Nite religiously, so when I saw they were selling seasons of it on DVD, I begged her to buy me season 1. She said that since I had just gotten straight As, she would buy it for me. So then, the next time I got my report card with straight As again, I convinced my mom to buy me the next season. This went on through seventh grade. So now I have this huge collection of Full House DVDs that I still pop into the old DVD player because, well, I still love the show!”

Morissa Schwartz

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“By the time I was introduced to the show, it was the the next-to-last episode of the second season, and I just never got around to watching the first two seasons. By the time the third season started, the story was self-contained, and I didn’t feel like I needed to go back and watch the rest. When other fans reference those seasons, I just sit and nod like I know what’s going on.”

Deborah Khuanghlawn

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[Editors’ note: This one was sent anonymously.]

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Dynasty is the cheesiest, most ridiculous soap opera of the ’80s, and they know it. #NoShame”

Lindi from TeamTSD

“I’m 45 years old and have an inappropriate crush on Tim Riggins (from Friday Night Lights). Arrest me (but only if the cop is Tim Riggins).”

Michelle Newman

“No offense to producer David Simon—I generally like robots, aliens, time-travelers and monsters with my TV.”

Debbie Day

Feel better now? Give us your true TV confessions in the comments below, or Tweet them to me @JDotHarvey with hashtag #TrueTVConfessions!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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