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'South Park' recap: Redskins Inc.

Season 18 | Episode 1 | “Go Fund Yourself” | Aired Sept 24, 2014

The episode begins with the boys spouting random assortments of odd words like “pungent crotch sweat” and they just get worse from there. But as it turns out, all these seemingly random phrases have already been used to name start-up companies.

“Boys, there’s more to a start-up co1801-cartman-redskinsmpany than having a catchy name.” Mr. Marsh tells the kids.

“No, there isn’t.” Stan replies to his father. And in this Kickstarter world, it’s pretty difficult to disagree with him.

And so begins the opener of South Park’s 18th season.

Cartman comes up with the brilliant idea of calling the company the “Washington Redskins,” since after the “court thingy,” the name is now available. And it’s the best name ever!

Of course, the company quickly becomes an overnight Kickstarter success. People just love that name.

But not everybody is in favor of their company’s title—namely Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL team of the same name. Cartman calling his company the “Washington Redskins” makes the team and Snyder feel like a joke, not to mention deeply offended. It’s like he’s making fun of their heritage! But Cartman assures them that the name is out of of deep appreciation and admiration for Snyder’s “people.” Sound familiar? Didn’t think so.

1312_the-f-word2And Cartman has a totally legitimate excuse for keeping the name anyway: “We can’t change the name of the company, because it’s like super-hard.”

But Kyle has a conscience and decides to start a new company called “Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Table,” a name that won’t offend anyone. Stan joins him and then leaves when he decides he doesn’t like this company name either. He insists, “A start-up company should never have seven words in its title.”

Snyder visits Commissioner Goodell, whose voice is brilliantly provided from actual sound clips from the games, for help with the whole name fiasco.

“That’s the most ridiculous nothing answer I’ve ever heard!” Snyder gets no help from Goodell, who turns out to be a robot. So he turns to the NFL team owners. They decide to make Cartman’s company change their logo. But when that solves nothing, it is time for Snyder’s Plan B:

Snyder birdcalls the Redskin football players into the Kickstarter office, and they completely destroy the place and burn it to the ground.

200 (1)Cartman kicks in Kyle’s door and accuses him of breaking Kickstarter, until Stan comes in, and they realize that “Washington Redskins” was actually the perfect name. Now, people can use their new company, “Go Fund Yourself,” and every time they give the Washington Redskins 5 percent for doing absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile, the football players on the Redskins are not feeling much team spirit.

“I just feel stupid wearing this now,” a player says as the entire team quits. So, left with no team, Snyder plays the Cowboys himself. They continuously tackle him play after play.

“Just stay down, for the love of God!” The crowd yells as Snyder gets more and more mangled. Finally, he is massacred.

The boys are sitting in their company office when an angry mob comes by, demanding they change their name after what happened with the “once proud nation who finally lost h1701_Cartman_2ope.” They’re talking, of course, about the football team and Snyder, and will be boycotting the boys’ company until they change their name.

So what are the boys to do now that they have lost their company?

“I guess we’ve gotta go back to school,” Cartman says. Looks like next week will see the return of the boys’ adventures in South Park Elementary.

The Tally

Biggest LMAO Moment: The Commissioner Goodell-bot

Funniest Running Gag: The Redskins’ company motto: four choice letters followed by “you”

Best Butters-ism: “Somebody killed Kickstarter!”

Top 5 Most Offensive Things Cartman Said 200 (2)

  • “Digging in our heels and pissing on public opinion is what the Redskins are all about!”
  • “NFL/Catholic Church: same thing!”
  • “Go, Redskins!”
  • “Oh my God! That weird little Jewy guy! Kyle!”
  • “I might just sit here until my ass fuses into the couch.”

Sure to Go Viral: Dan Snyder and the team feel like a joke when having their people mocked by the company’s name.

 South Park, rated TV-MA, airs Wednesdays at 10/9C on Comedy Central.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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