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'Face Off' recap: Creepy clowns and the stuff of nightmares

Season 7 | Episode 710 | “Scared Silly” | Aired Sept 23, 2014

The night I’ve been dreading since last episode’s preview has finally arrived: Face Off‘s killer clown challenge. Consensus seems to be that you either find clowns at least creepy (if not straight-up scary), or you are a liar. Why anyone thought this was a good idea, I will never know.

And we begin with the creepy right out of the gate. As large as the Face Off house seems from the outside, it apparently only has one bedroom, and everyone sleeps there like a giant, fancy summer camp (at least from what I’ve seen about summer camp in movies). The contestants are all awakened in the middle of the night by terrifying laughter. This is literally the stuff of nightmares.

They head to the pitch-black lab, where they watch a terrifying night-vision video of McKenzie, who explains their challenge. This challenge is all about fear. (CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. I AM TERRIFIED.) Scary-video McKenzie tells the contestants that they will be making evil clowns based off of their childhood fears. Their models will be real clowns, who will then perform in their makeups. Everyone is extremely excited, and I do not understand why. This is the worst challenge ever. Why do I have to watch this? I am so scared.

To ensure that everyone stays scared for as long as possible, they have to sketch in the lab in the dark, using only the light from their tablets.  Everyone starts planning their clowns based on their fears (below):

Rachael—Cockroaches (Living in New York City, this is my adult fear.)

Cig—Dark water


Stella—Monsters under the bed

Sasha—Old dolls




Naturally, George took a clown class when he was younger—boy, does that explain a lot—and he and Cig are casually wearing clown noses while sculpting. Whatever makes you happy, fellas. George plans on making a face made out of giant worms, and Cig is planning on letting his paint drip and melt off the face so that it will look wet.

image (10)Sasha is still trying to prove to the judges that they didn’t waste their save, so she’s decided to take a little risk this challenge. Sasha’s fear is old dolls (um, whose isn’t?), and instead of making a straight clown, she is planning to create an old, cracked doll with clown makeup. She is essentially combining two of the scariest things on the planet, so thanks for that, Sasha.

George hits a snag when he realizes his sculpt is looking a little more like, well, poop, and not worms, so he tears his sculpt apart and starts over. Dina also has to rework her concept after a visit from Mr. Westmore. Her initial idea to have her clown’s hair be a tornado wasn’t working, and Mr. Westmore suggests that she try something different. Dina comes up with a new idea that she’s much more excited about. Now her clown was trapped in a tornado during a birthday party, and he was impaled with birthday debris.

Damien and Drew are both working with spiders, but they are taking different approaches. Damien’s clown had spiders lay eggs inside of him, and now the spiders are eating him from within. Drew is giving his clown spider-like elements, including extra eyes and a spider-shaped head.

Also, George is walking around the lab in booty shorts, because things were feeling a little boring. He really wants people to stare at his thighs. I thank this show every episode for George and his comic relief. He also worked on his makeup some, making some slimy-looking worm arms.

By the time the clowns have made it to the reveal stage, I am essentially watching the episode through my fingers. Rachael may be worried her creature doesn’t look enough like a clown, but I am worried that I won’t sleep tonight.

After a truly terrifying reveal—CIG, I AM AFRAID OF WHAT IS INSIDE YOUR HEAD, MAN—the clowns performed. Either that or I interrupted the episode to go on a short LSD trip. Regardless, the top and bottom looks are announced as follows:

Top Looks:

Winner: Sasha



image (12)Bottom Looks:



The judges loved Sasha’s unique approach to the challenge, her realistic cracking and paint job, and her attention to detail (like the hair plugs in her wig). After a rough couple of weeks, the judges have finally remembered why they saved her. Damien, meanwhile, was sent home. His concept was good, but his actual design and execution was uninspired.

Are you happy to get back to lighter challenges next week? What would have happened if someone’s childhood fear had been clowns? And be honest: Did you have nightmares after watching?

Face Off airs Tuesdays at 9/8C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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