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'Million Dollar Listing LA': An episode Mad Lib

Season 7 | Episode 5 | “Flagg vs. Serhant” | Aired Sept 17, 2014

As always, it’s a sunny day in Los Angeles. Josh Flagg puts on his loafers and loads up the [liquid] in his hair. Now he’s ready to make a deal. He meets meets the buyer’s agents at a [name of restaurant] and orders a [type of drink.]. He smugly smiles and suggests a [high number]. The other agents balk, but Josh holds his ground and tells the other agent [insert witty insult]. Finally, the agent relents and Josh saunters away, with a profit. He wins every time!

James wakes up with his wife, [a name that rhymes with “malaria”], says hello to his daughters, and tells them [a cheeky British term of endearment]. James arrives at the house and they brush each other’s [part of the body]. They are ready to hit the day, making deals and making their dreams come true. They meet their [include weird characteristic] client, and the client asks them to [an impossible task that they think they can never do]. This was certainly not what they were expecting! David has a panic attack or a temper tantrum and James calms him down by telling him [some sort of business jargon about never giving up]. At the last minute, they pull through for the client. Their egos are [verb ending in -ed]. They hug each other and solidify their codependency.

Josh Altman is at home with his fiancée, Heather. They fight because Josh is not taking [something to do with their wedding] seriously. Josh also forgot to [something else that is important to a relationship.] Josh gets a phone call and walks away, and Heather flashes her middle finger at him. She sulks and proclaims [something awful to say about someone you are supposedly in love with].

Josh, dressed in [a color you would see on an Easter egg] suit and with [number] quarts of hair product, leaves to go to an expensive listing and claims this is, once again, the most important property of his career. The audience is given an overview of the property, which includes [number] of bedrooms and [number that is inexplicably larger than the number of bedrooms] baths, and a spiral staircase made from [a material that can only be mined from deep in a rainforest]. The backyard has a pool that is [the amount of water needed to hydrate a small country] big.

Josh has convinced the seller to hire him by [verb ending in -ed] them until they give in. He celebrates, but only for a short time, because his brother Matt comes by with a potential seller and creates family drama. Josh claims that Matt is only doing this because he is jealous of Josh’s [plural noun.]

This episode: Several showdowns!

Showdown #1: Josh Flagg v. New York agents in a smug look–off!

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7    MDLNY Meets  MDLLA2

Winner: Josh Flagg (in rarely seen casual wear)

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7    MDLNY Meets  MDLLA


Showdown #2: Altman v. Altman. Matt and Josh fight over how to handle the property that the comic book villain is set on buying.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Altman vs. Altman

Winner: Matt, only because he used his clapping-activated clouding windows in the office. Also, is there a plane in their office?

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Altman vs. Altman4


Showdown #3: Josh and Heather v. Their Wedding

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Next  Ryan Serhant Comes to LA

Winner: No one, because after visiting a wedding planner, they both realize how little work they’ve done for the wedding.

Epilogue: Everyone seems to be on their best behavior and tolerating each other during a press tour in New York. Barely.

Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles airs Wednesdays at 9/8C on Bravo.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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