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'Finding Carter' season 1 finale recap: 5 ways the world shattered

Season 1 | Episode 12 | “One Hour Photo” | Aired Sept 16, 2014

Well … um … WHAT THE WHAT?

Finding Carter’s season finale was full of big hints, massive twists, and world-shattering awfulness. The nice thing about the Finding Carter finale is how equal-opportunity it was; no matter what you like about the show, it found a way to ruin it. We’re talking daggers-to-the-heart, blowing-up-your-hopes-and-dreams ruined. 

Does this sound like exaggeration? Let the evidence speak for itself.

Exhibit 1: Lori has been stalking the Wilsons forever. No, but really. This week, we learn that her obsession with the family goes back way further than Carter’s abduction. In fact, it goes back further than Carter. She sends Carter clues that lead her to pick up some photo prints (it’s kind of amazing that a 17-year-old girl knows what those are, let alone where and how to pick them up) of her stalker pics of Elizabeth and David … back when Elizabeth was very pregnant with Carter and Taylor.

Exhibit 2: Lori has a steamy shirtless pic of David from back in the day, too. Lori poses as a crisis counselor to get Elizabeth to agree to a session between her and Carter. At this session, she mostly throws a passive-aggressive hissy fit about Carter liking the Wilsons more than she likes her.

   

She also leaves a parting gift: A picture of a shirtless and sleeping David from back in the day. It’s just the latest in a long string of hints that Lori and David were intimately involved and that he may have played a role in Carter’s abduction. Now that he’s turning over a new, more honest (and more nerdy-English-teacher-y) leaf, it would majorly suck to learn that his betrayal goes way beyond the book deal.

Exhibit 3: Max is a meanie-head. That’s literally the meanest thing that I am capable of saying about Max after a season of falling in TV love with his adorable, slow-speaking, crouton-making wonderfulness. But this week, he’s awake, and most of his closest friends might actually be missing the coma.

He’s all angry side-eye and loud, raging outbursts. When Elizabeth refuses to show him the footage from his shooting, he kicks her out of his room. When Carter tries to apologize, he barely speaks. And when Taylor does any number of cute Taylor-y things, he lashes out. For Max fans (which is, of course, all Finding Carter fans), it’s hard to watch. Where did our sweet boy go?

Exhibit 4: Maxlor break up. 

After the way Max treats her (yelling at her, snapping at her, kicking her out, and generally acting as though he’d rather not breathe the same air as her), it would be hard to blame Taylor for breaking up with Max, or at least telling him that she needs some space. But that’s not the way this goes down. Taylor stays 100 percent dedicated to Max. She stays so dedicated, in fact, that she expedites their breakup.

Max can’t keep working, which means he can’t afford his apartment. Plus, he needs expensive therapy (physical and emotional) that even his parents can barely afford. He has to move home, two hours away, and Taylor has given up on friends, family, and school just to take care of him. That, my friends, is what a breaking point looks like.

And this, my friends, is what the saddest breakup in the world looks like:

   

   

Exhibit 5: Lori re-kidnaps Carter. Who knew re-kidnapping was even a thing? You have to give Lori props for ballsiness, though. She drugs and kidnaps Carter just a few hundred feet away from Elizabeth’s massive undercover sting attempt to catch her. Elizabeth realizes something’s up just a little too late and gets to see Lori speed away with her daughter.

What did you think was the most shocking moment of the Finding Carter finale? Sound off in the comments!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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