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'Face Off' recap: My anaconda don't want none unless you got guns, son

Season 7 | Episode 709 | “Serpent Soldiers” | Aired Sept 16, 2014

This week on Face Off, it’s the sequel to Snakes on a Plane: Snakes on a Battleship! Our contestants have gathered on Battleship Iowa in San Pedro, California, to learn about their next challenge. G.I. Joe is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year, and the brand is the sponsor of inspiration for the spotlight challenge. The contestants will be creating a snake-themed supersoldier that is part of the G.I. Joe world.

McKenzie then displays a variety of different snake species. The contestants choose the following serpents:

Rachael—Green tree python

Cig—Christmas tree eyelash viper

Keaghlan—Albino reticulated python

Dina—Brazilian rainbow boa

Stella—Namibian coral cobra

Sasha—Hognose snake

Drew—Tiger rat snake

George—Green anaconda

Damien—Gaboon viper

As an added bonus, this week, the winner will receive a “very exciting  prize”: some special-edition 50th anniversary G.I. Joe toys! (And McKenzie manages to hype this prize with a straight face.)

After some sketching, the contestants head back to the lab. Cig had designed a female supersoldier, but he doesn’t get a female model. He has to rework his design to match the larger physique he’ll be working with. He’s anxious, because he’s actually sincerely motivated by the action-figure prize.

Drew is the only contestant who hasn’t gotten top looks yet. So this challenge, he is trying to stand out by avoiding the large snake heads that everyone else is making. Instead, he wants to create a human character with snake body modifications. He’s worried that the judges won’t think that he’s done enough, but he’s decided to take the risk.

Sasha was saved by the judges last week (to the chagrin of many of you). One would hope that this would inspire Sasha to be more confident. One would be disappointed. Sasha, if possible, seems less confident in her sculpts and concepts. She literally asks everyone to come look at her sculpt to see how she should do her nose, all while basically on the verge of tears. When Mr. Westmore comes around, he basically does her nose for her. And just like that, Sasha is falling further behind in the competition. If she can’t trust her own judgment and designs, she is not going to go much further.

Sasha also decides to recycle a previous design. She uses the exact same method she used to create her owl feathers back in episode 5 to create her snake’s scales. She hopes that a drastically different paint job will help distinguish them from each other.

Meanwhile, Stella has completed her face piece and has begun work on a helmet for her supersoldier. It’s then that a producer comes by to tell her that her model is sick. Stella now has a much smaller replacement model, and a face piece and cowl that are not going to fit. It is too late in the challenge for Stella to start over, so she will have to adjust her piece to fit her new model’s smaller face.

[We interrupt this recap to inform you that during this challenge, George modeled and goofed around in the muscle suit that he created for his supersoldier. We now return to your previously scheduled recap.]

During last looks, Stella cannot make her helmet work on her smaller model, so she tosses it at the last minute. Her modified face piece is working well, though. And Sasha, despite her promises for different-colored feather/scales, has ended up with a very similar look to her owl in episode 5.

At the end of judging, the top and bottom looks are:

image (8)Top Looks:

Winner: Dina



Bottom Looks:




The judges thought Cig’s supersoldier looked just like an action figure. And they loved Drew’s minimalist makeup and paint job. They respected that he did something risky and completely different. But Dina’s supersoldier was named the winner. The judges thought her paint job was fantastic, and they liked her attention to detail and her snake’s balanced shape.

image (7)The judges were less impressed with Rachael’s poor form and Sasha’s feathery scales and simple design. But Keaghlan’s creature was not snakelike at all. Coupled with weak coloring, Keaghlan was eliminated.

Next week: NOOOOOOOO! EVIL CLOWNS. THIS IS THE WORST. This has been the scariest stretch of challenges ever. I will attempt to recap what I can see from peeking through my fingers. Can we please go back to The Wizard of Oz?

Are you feeling super-underwhelmed this season? What’s scarier: psycho killers, snakes, or clowns? And at what point in the episode did you start singing “Anaconda”?

Face Off airs Tuesdays at 9/8C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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