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'Million Dollar Listing LA' recap: Lucky number seven

Season 7 | Episode 4 | “Royally Sucked” | Aired Sept 10, 2014

From just two episodes, I’ve already learned the secret to these agents’ secret weapons when it comes to closing a deal:

Josh Flagg: Saunter in wearing designer loafers and ooze charisma.
Josh Altman: Wear the buyer down until they say yes.
David and James: Charm the buyer with their British accents and their witty dynamic.

This week, it’s all about selling ridiculous properties that (I am assuming) most of us would never be able to dream of.


Taking a break from having temper tantrums about their $48 million listing, they work on other properties, like developer Tomer’s expensive but severe-looking home.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Million Dollar Leasing

That’s the thing about these homes: They are all staged in a very sterile way. I get that sleek and modern is in, but I would love to see a house staged in a way that looks lived-in, or even a bit gaudy. I want to see gold-foil leaves, shag carpets, or curio cabinets of tchotchkes. What we get is what looks like a futuristic mental hospital.

The backyard of this place is all pool. The surprise? Press a button and fountains shoot up. Because why not.

2Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Million Dollar Leasing

Tomer, however, is not ready to sell. He wants to lease the house for one month only, at $47K. Why that much? Seven is his lucky number.

The duo take a break at the pool at the Intercontinental Hotel, wiggling their toes and talking strategy. They need to target people in the music and entertainment industries (duh), and create a real high demand and buzz. “Let them see the energy!” exclaims David, illustrating energy by bouncing up and down like a toddler.

This must have worked, because they get a potential leaser. James thinks he looks familiar. The client, with a shit-eating grin, denies it. Finally, it is revealed that he is the man that sucked Fergie’s toes (the Duchess of York, not the Black Eyed Peas). This, apparently, was a big scandal in the U.K. I guess toe-sucking gets you top dollar in which you can drop almost $50K for a month of rent.

Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   An  MDLLA Royal Scandal

As toe-sucker leaves, David and James do their worst acting in building up their “buzz.” It practically plays out like this:

David: Oh, where are you going now, James?
James: Oh, back to the office. As you know, we are busy real estate moguls.
David: Oh, that’s right. We have lots of clients coming in. This listing is very popular. Thanks for reminding me!

Later, David and James take Tomer to dinner and bring in Valerie, who represents a potential leaser, not to mention that she looks like she would have her own Bravo reality show. They pit her against another potential leaser (who obviously doesn’t exist), and she comes back with an offer of $55K. Tomer needs the number seven included, because he’s an eccentric man with too much money, so the final deal is set at $57K. James and David only make about a $2K commission off of this, so I wonder if it was really worth it.


Josh’s plan to get a hot new listing: Find the name of the contractor of new construction sites and get to the seller before anyone else. He sends his assistant, Mikey, on a recon to find out, because that’s what assistants are for, duh.

This leads him to Jordan, who shows him the rendered plans for the house. There’s a large circular window, an open bathroom (how is that a good thing?), and lots of other stark, severe furnishings. Josh estimates that the place will take another $2 million to finish and sets the listing at $11 million. “Other agents will be jealous,” Josh surmises.

3Watch Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles Season 7   Altman Gets an Unusual Request

Skip ahead to a showing, for a stylish woman in high heels. “I like expensive things,” she says. “I can tell from your Louboutins,” he says about her shoes, perhaps attempting to flirt. It’s awkward. “I can tell what they are—my fiancée has several pairs.” Maybe not flirting. Now I’m not sure.

“Be careful going down those stairs in those Loubies!” he tells her as she leaves. Oh, Josh.

Josh’s brother and business partner, Matt, brings in his client Sam. Sam is like a villain in a comic-book movie. Sam demands that Josh cancel other showings but doesn’t make an offer. Josh protests, which is legitimate argument since there is no firm offer. Sam goes off to call all his overseas banks, and Matt derides Josh for protesting. This is an interesting partnership, if Josh is a seller’s agent and Matt is a buyer’s agent. Then again, everyone always wins.

Will Josh let his brother Matt push him around? It’s a cliffhanger. Josh’s hair rises higher than Matt’s, so he wins on that one.

Later, Josh and Heather host their friends, a couple who are like another version of Josh and Heather, in their kitchen. Heather, showing the depth of character the show seems to give her, once again complains that Josh is not interested in wedding planning. Is this foreshadowing? No, it’s straight up telling us that this wedding tension will last several more episodes.


Fully recovered from his sciatica emergency last week, Josh Flagg visits the home of family friends Ann and Rick. They want out of their current place and need Josh to help them. The problem? Ann wants a move-in-ready spot with a good view. Rick wants a fixer-upper. Uh-oh, a couple can’t agree on a house? We’ve never seen this before on a show!

Josh takes Anne to a house to her tastes, but Rick finds out and confronts Josh in his office while Josh is having an oh-this-is-a-totally-real-phone-call-and-not-for-the-camera. Rick demands Josh take his side. Herein lies the conflict for Josh this week: Never mix business and friends!

Josh finally brings them to a bit more lived-in house that was accidentally put in the wrong MLS listing. It needs a lot of work, but Josh convinces Anne that he can get this $5 million house for a bargain-bin price. He walks outside to work his wizard-agent power. He calls the other agent and somehow hypnotizes her over the phone to take a $3.2 offer. A few minutes later, he gets the final offer: $3.5 million. And it’s done. He saunters back into the house to deliver the news. Ann and Rick fawn over him. Once again, Josh Flagg proves he always gets what he wants.

Question of the week: What is the show’s wardrobe budget for pocket squares?

Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles airs Wednesday at 9/8C on Bravo.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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