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'Haven' is back, so bring on the troubles

Season 5 | Episode 1 | “See No Evil” | Aired Sept 11, 2014

Welcome back to Haven, Maine, where the winters are cold and the lighthouse is weaker than Stars Hollow’s Old Muddy River Bridge. Haven season 5 starts seconds after the cave collapse at the end of season 4, making the five-month wait since the last season finale frustratingly exhilarating.

Gloria (Jayne Eastwood) and Vicki (Molly Dunsworth) are unaware of the cave debacle and are enjoying a chill Maine morning with baby Aaron in the gazebo. Starting the season off with Gloria is a pleasantly perfect surprise. She was a breakout fan favorite last season, and truly encompasses the Haven mentality. The town of Haven is really the main character of the series, and no one can introduce the feel of community and quirkiness to Haven newbies better than Gloria.

Gloria is still getting used to her new role as Aaron’s guardian. She is asking the really tough parenting questions—”Which lunchbox do the cool kids have?” and “When do I give him his first iPhone?”—when Aaron starts to cry. Since Duke (Eric Balfour) killed Aaron’s father, Aaron’s cries can’t hurt anyone anymore, but Vicki still doesn’t want Aaron crying. Vicki draws a picture of the gazebo and uses her trouble to float the flower petals in the air. Aaron is delighted and so are we. It is a beautiful moment in Haven, but then the ground shakes.

Gloria, Vicki, and a now-crying Aaron watch as the lighthouse crumbles and a burst of energy shoots across the town. This isn’t Vicki’s trouble; as is often the case in Haven, this is something else entirely. Duke and Dwight (Adam Copeland) wake up by the shore. The last thing they remember is William going back to the other side. Vince (Richard Donat) and Dave (John Dunsworth), who is badly wounded, wake up in the woods. Nathan (Lucas Bryant) wakes up in a different part of the woods and runs to hug Audrey (Emily Rose).

Except it’s not Audrey at all; it’s Mara who uses the hug to trap Nathan. For obvious reasons, Nathan doesn’t feel the metal handcuff close around his wrist. Mara has chained him to a fence. Nathan believes that Audrey is still in there somewhere and that she will be able to fight Mara out of her body. We believe too, Nathan! Nathan will never give up hope in Audrey Parker, and neither will we.

Nathan’s sappily adorable convictions are shot down by Mara. She has all of Audrey’s memories, but she is not Audrey. Mara is tired of Nathan doubting her, so she knocks him out and goes to look for Jennifer. Back at the lighthouse site, there aren’t any clues. Duke is getting really anxious about finding Jennifer. No one has seen or heard from her. Duke is also in denial about the fact that the last thing anyone remembers is Duke yelling that Jennifer wasn’t breathing. Unfortunately, all signs point to Emma Lahana not reprising her role as Jennifer in Haven season 5, so Jennifer’s outlook for recovery is not good.

haven-season-5-premiere-spoilers-nathan-wuornos-lucas-bryant-syfy

Everyone’s favorite clueless cop Stan (Glen Lefchak) makes a cameo in episode 1 to confirm to Duke that no one has heard from Jennifer. Bill Stevens (Darcy Lindzon) is documenting the damage to the lighthouse and worried that the town will not be able to fund the building of a new lighthouse. The last one was supposed to be completely earthquake-resistant, so the insurance on a new lighthouse will be astronomical. Haven should really have troubles insurance.

As Bill peruses the area, his eyes are suddenly sewn shut. Our first trouble of season 5! Duke and Nathan assume that it’s Mara causing this new trouble, but since Dwight doesn’t know that Mara created the troubles, he proceeds with his normal trouble research pattern.

Not only is the lighthouse destroyed, but the door to the other side is destroyed as well. Mara mentions something that leads Nathan to believe there may be more than one door, so he heads to Vince and Dave for help. Dave is unconscious and Vince has no clue where the other doors could be, but offers Nathan Cabot’s journal to help him with his quest. Luckily Vince knows where Dave hid the journal.

Unlike Sara or Lucy, Mara has the memories of every personality she has been for the last 500 years, which makes impersonating Audrey a piece of cake. She heads to the coffee shop, and with one smile gets the guy working there to let her into the stockroom. There is a weird glistening energy in the stockroom that seems to be a passage to the other side. She puts up with Sam the coffee man’s questions for a minute, but he is distracting her from her goal, so she shoots him in the head. Mara is unable to get through the force field and is not happy about it.

Vince finds a map in the Cabot journal of the thin spots throughout town, which are places where the veil between worlds is thinnest. There are five of them, including the one at the coffee shop. Everyone splits up to stake out the thin spots. Mara hits up the spot Dwight is guarding in the woods first. She shoots some bullets and they find their way to Dwight’s vest. As Dwight lays on the ground, Mara asks him who is sealing up the “thinnies.” He doesn’t know, so she leaves him in the woods and moves on.

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Hearing news of someone sealing up the thinnies gives Duke new hope that Jennifer is alive and working on their side. After recovering from the bullets, Dwight heads to the hospital to continue the sewn-face-trouble search, which has taken another victim. The last cases of this troubler were a couple of generations ago in the Barrow family. The current Barrow matriarch explains to Dwight that their trouble hasn’t been active since Constance Barrow died.

Constance’s death was ruled an accident, but it looks like it was murder. The prime suspect was a Crocker, of course. Dwight meets up with Duke and tells him the new information. Dwight can’t figure out how the Barrows’ trouble has resurfaced. Duke tells Dwight he assumed that it was Mara, so now Dwight knows about Mara creating the troubles. Nathan is going to have a hard time convincing everyone to leave Mara’s body intact. If the guard finds out about Mara, they are going to want blood.

With Mara off the suspect list, Duke realizes what has been going on. He spoke with both the sewn-eyes victims and he has been agitated about Jennifer all day, which is throwing his emotions out of whack. The Barrows’ trouble is coming off of Duke. When a Crocker kills a troubled person, they absorb their trouble. The Crockers have absorbed hundreds of troubles, which are now inside of Duke and are ready to come out to play. This cannot end well.

Mara’s next stop is Nathan’s thinnie in the ocean. Nathan lets slip that he thinks Jennifer is sealing the thinnies, but Mara just laughs. Jennifer is nowhere near strong enough to do that. Mara apparently only wanted Jennifer so that she could send a message to William. The most likely culprit for the thinnie sealing is starting to look like comatose Dave. Dave keeps having these flashes to the cave in his sleep. Maybe that has something to do with controlling the entrances to the other world?

After Mara tries unsuccessfully to get through the ocean thinnie, she is really pissed. Nathan is not helping her mood either. Nathan has figured out that Mara can’t make new troubles at the moment because she doesn’t have the box of goo. Mara tells him it’s not goo, it’s “aether, the essence of the void”—whatever that means. She doesn’t know where it is at the moment, which is why she needs to get a message to William.

Nathan continues to taunt Mara about Audrey being inside her. If Audrey isn’t there, why didn’t Mara just kill Nathan? Nathan knows that his and Audrey’s love for each other is stronger than anything Mara can throw at them. This is too much for Mara to take and she shoots Nathan. She shoots him! Nathan falls to the ground, injured but not dead.

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As Nathan bleeds out and waits for the final shot to come, he says, “I will always love you, Parker.” It’s perfect and wonderful and horribly sad. Nathan and Audrey get destroyed even more often than that lighthouse. The final shot doesn’t come, though. As Mara tries to pull the trigger, she finds that she can’t. A look of confusion crosses Mara’s face, and suddenly we are filled with as much hope as Nathan has. Audrey really is in there! Mara is stronger than any personality this body has possessed, but still something in her knows not to kill Nathan Wuornos.

The Haven season 5 premiere hit all the right notes. It had some great Gloria one-liners, a lot of action, and devastating Nathan scenes. Mara is the fifth character Emily Rose has played on Haven, and she kills it. Every Audrey personality is distinct, and while we all want Audrey back, watching Rose explore a new character is part of the fun of Haven and what makes the show so unique. Lexie was a chance for Rose to be a fun party girl; Mara is her chance to be the bad guy.

With a 26-episode season (yay!), Haven season 5 has twice the time for plot and character development. It will be interesting to see how the longer format affects the show and the choices the writers make going forward. In season 4, Lexie revealed herself as Audrey fairly quickly, but with more room to play this season, Mara may stick around a bit longer. Getting back into Haven is like putting on your favorite hoodie after a long, hot summer—it’s comfortable, it’s cozy, and you never want to leave. Lucky for all our fellow Havenites, we are just at the beginning.

Haven airs Thursdays at 8/7C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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