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'Intruders' recap: On the road

Season 1 | Episode 3 | “Time Has Come Today” | Aired Sept 6, 2014

It didn’t take long for the skeletons in Jack’s closet to start making their way into the light, did it? Amy’s disappearance initially brought out the devoted husband in him, but now that she’s back home, he’s got a lot of anger to process, and he’s not handling it well. We join Jack on the road home from Seattle, taking swigs of whiskey as he drives. He’s literally drinking and driving. He’s also checking Amy’s phone, so he’s drinking, driving and texting. This man used to be a cop. He finds a song on Amy’s phone called “Baby Won’t You Please Come Home,” because sometimes life is painfully unsubtle like that.

Birch Crossing, Washington

Jack returns his friend’s car and leaves the key under the doormat, but he’s interrupted by Bobbi (Karin Konoval), who greeted Jack at the bookstore like an old friend just a few days ago. Now she’s holding a gun on him. Her eyes are blank, as if she doesn’t recognize him, but she drops her weapon after Jack explains that he’s just returning the car. Has she been shepherded too? Are all intruders this menacing? Maybe killers are the only people who get to come back to life. That would be cheery.

Returning home, Jack finds Amy in bed, studying her hands. She has a logical explanation for everything: She couldn’t remember Jack’s number without speed dial, she was out of the office because she was hunting for new jobs, and she didn’t stay at her usual hotel because she didn’t want anyone to see her on the job hunt. Amy also has a few questions for Jack, like how he got those bruises. She assumes that the alcohol was involved; it’s been a problem for him before. Jack says that he was just worried for himself without her, and he’s not the kind of person who can assume that everything is fine. Not anymore.

Amy goes outside to smoke and make a phone call, and when Jack questions her about it, she tells him that she wants to separate. Assuming an affair, Jack pushes Amy away and punches the glass door. She sobs that this is all her fault. She never wanted to talk to “this Jack.” Amy seems to have internalized the blame for some past abuse, so there goes my rosy estimation of the relationship I assumed would be the heart of the show. She kneels in front of her husband and explains that she never meant she would be separating from him. “I’m not leaving you,” she says. “I’m leaving myself.” I don’t know how long she’s been dead, but it feels like she should have studied up on the connotations of the word “separate.”

intruders_103_jack_amyAmy gives Jack the same speech we heard from Madison’s book last week: Permanent death is just a lie told to control us. We do die, but we can return. Jack has never heard Amy sound like this before, and they’ve seen each other through some tough deaths—including, evidently, the loss of their baby. He wants to help her like she helped him. They make out on the couch, but her pupils go wide, and she dramatically stomps three feet away to sleep on the other couch. Later that night, Jack gets a call from Gary, who meets him the next day with surveillance photos of Amy. She wasn’t home when she says she was, and he believes that she’s tied to the Anderson murders.

Washington Highway

Shepherd passes Jack on the road and flashes back to a meeting with Marcus Fox, the man we now know as Madison. Marcus knew that the Nine were trying to kill him, to which Shepherd responded, “I guess you learn something about someone after a few thousand years.” Is Marcus thousands of years old? Is Shepherd? And who are the Nine? Marcus proposed a deal with Shepherd, whom he called Richard: In exchange for some money, Shepherd could let Marcus live and say that he was still hunting him.

Marcus knew that this wouldn’t save him forever. The Nine would inevitably kill him, but Shepherd could bring him back, off the record (which explains why Mrs. Ng said that he didn’t have a book, though it doesn’t explain why she gave him one anyway). Marcus would then take control of the Nine and reward Shepherd. To seal the deal, Marcus passed Shepherd a sand dollar and left him with the warning, “What goes around comes around.” Marcus is definitely a killer, but probably the worst thing about him is that he acts like he invented that phrase.

intruders_103_marcus_shepherdMeanwhile, Madison is in the car with Karen, the woman she paid for a ride to Seattle. Karen offers to let Madison use her cell phone and worries that she’s picked up a runaway, but Madison would rather talk about classical music. Mozart’s Ave Verum Corpus is on the radio. (I took enough Latin to know that the title translates to “Hail, true body,” so apparently unsubtle lyrics are everywhere right now.) On May 29, 1791, during the first performance of the piece, a young girl was murdered, the victim of a serial killer. Karen assumes that Madison learned about it in school, but she says she was there. She played in the orchestra.

While Madison sleeps, Karen grabs the “9” card from her pocket. There’s a number on the back, but Karen’s cell phone is dead, so she stops at the nearest rest stop to use a pay phone. Shepherd answers. Assuming that he knows Madison, Karen manages to tell him where they are before Madison rips the phone from her hands, curses at it, and bashes it against the wall. To compensate for that display of aggression, she turns on the innocent charm and says that the man on the other end of the line was her Uncle Marcus, who touched her and her friends inappropriately. She was the only one with the courage to speak up, but no one believes her, so she ran away. Karen accepts the story and agrees that they should keep driving. She leads Madison by the hand into the restroom, where we hear her scream.

When Shepherd arrives, Karen’s car sits empty in the lot. There’s blood all over the bathroom wall, but he still seems surprised to find Karen dead in the corner. As he douses her body and her car with gasoline and sets it all on fire, he snarks that this is what she gets for picking up a hitchhiker. He actually seems to be having fun for a minute there. Since it’s pretty clear that no one on this show is actually a good person, we might as well get a bit more personality from our bad guys. Shepherd drives off, rock music blaring, and throws Karen’s teeth out the window. Burned bodies are identified by testing the DNA in the teeth (thank you, so many TV shows, for that bit of wisdom), so he’s covered all of his bases.

intruders_103_shepherdThis episode seemed for a few minutes like it might be set entirely on the road, which would be interesting, but it’s probably more fitting that the one character who actually made it home is the one who’s watching his home fall apart. Hopefully, we’ll get more of Amy’s internal conflict as we move forward; despite possibly being a former member of the Czar’s Secret Police, she seems to be closest to the person she was before. What does she mean when she talks about separating from herself? And what does Marcus want? Share your theories!

Intruders, rated TV-14, airs at 10/9C on BBC America.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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