Rent The seasoned moviegoer’s heart will sink upon seeing the Revolution Studios logo at the beginning of the trailer, and anyone who hasn’t seen the play will be mystified by the lengthy, dialogue-free montage of well-groomed bohemians hugging. Still, that ”Seasons of Love” song is pretty rousing, it’s hard to beat Taye Diggs, Rosario Dawson, and Jesse L. Martin in the photogenic department, and Wilson Jermaine Heredia deserves props for pulling off that Donald O’Connor running-up-the-wall backflip.

Now that the Catholic-until-recently actress is taking classes in her boyfriend’s faith, I have a few nagging questions:

How long before she signs on to costar opposite John Travolta in Battlefield Earth 2?

Will she play Kirstie Alley’s bubbly niece on the next season of Fat Actress?

Will she be required to denounce prescription-drug user Brooke Shields?

Will she get to duet with Beck or will she have to settle for Lisa Marie Presley?

My first response: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!My second response: Who is she kidding? Once she becomes a stay-at-home mom, she’ll start a line of maternity clothes and baby accessories and launch them via a reality show called Growing Up Hilton. Watching her change diapers could be even more fun than watching her try to milk a cow.

• Nearly a decade after Titanic, James Cameron, still can’t decide on his next feature. The King of the World may back-burner his manga-based Battle Angel to make the secret ”Project 880.”
• Does the title Hot Stuff make you think of Tim Robbins?

After Time magazine’s revelation that Christina Aguilera’s music was used to torture a Guantánamo Bay detainee, I have to ask: Is that fair to Xtina? C’mon, raise your hand if you thought Stripped was a first-rate album. (Don’t try to be shy, either, you’re protected by the privacy of your own computer.)

So now that Michael Jackson’s scored a not-guilty sweep, his attorney is suggesting that he won’t be having sleepovers with children anymore. Or, um, at least certain kinds of children. Wait a minute — how the heck do you define the word sleepover anyway?

How huge is this ABC reality show?

Shame on the Los Angeles Times for publishing a report of the first-ever Lost convention without mentioning anywhere that it contains some major spoilers about the upcoming season.

Though Bennifer may be ancient history, it’s nice to know that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez did leave a lasting legacy of mash-up star-couple names. Not only do we now have TomKat (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes), Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), and of course, Bennifer 2.0 (Affleck and Jennifer Garner), but you just can’t be a proper celebrity couple these days unless you have your own custom portmanteau word to show everyone how close you really are.

My Britney & Kevin: Chaotic-induced hangover has finally subsided — what? don’t tell me you tried watching it sober! — and it’s allowing me to see last night’s season (or series?) finale in a less hateful light. Sure, during the show’s five-episode run, K-Fed never mentioned the existence of his young daughter Kori. Or the fact that Kori’s mom, actress Shar Jackson, was pregnant with his second child. And, okay, we did have to endure the portrait of Ms. Spears as some kind of enlightened being with deep thoughts to share about love and motherhood.