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‘America's Next Top Model’ recap: You feelin’ sexy yet?

Cycle 21 | Episode 2 | “The Guy Who Gets a Second Chance” | Aired Aug 25, 2014

This week on America’s Next Top Model, photographer Yu Tsai joins the judging panel; the models pose in a big, sexy pile on the beach; and eight contestants must pack their bags and head home.

The models face a dangerous challenge early on: riding the LA Metro at midnight. Barefoot. (Somewhere between wardrobe changes, most of the models lose their shoes and run around in the station and on trains in bare feet, which disturbs me more than anything in this episode, even the grunting noises Adam makes doing push-ups before his shoot.)

At each of four stops on the red line through Hollywood, the models have 60 seconds to piece together a seasonal look (Beach casual! Back to school!) and get back on the train for a photo shoot with photographer Franco Lacosta. Miss the train and immediately lose the challenge.

It only takes two stops before most models are left behind on the platform; in fact, by the time “winter” rolls around, only Matthew and Danny are left. Despite calling Matthew boring, Lacosta crowns the Colorado native winner of this four seasons station challenge, a victory Matthew compares to losing his virginity.

antm-week2_matthew

Back at the house, tattooed Wiccan Romeo and slick Staten Islander Danny engage in the episode’s obligatory verbal showdown, while the rest of the models eat pizza and look on with only mild interest—they’ve seen this before, in seasons 1 through 20.

The models arrive at a beach at sunset, delighted to discover a campfire and s’mores. (Surely fat-free chocolate and organic marshmallows.)

Only the second episode and already these models are Twitterpated. Keith’s fallen hard for Kari (“She’s not sexy. She’s beautifully sexy. I think I got a thing for her.”) Ben’s got his eye on Kari, too. And PR Maven Kelly Cutrone’s playing matchmaker, robotically teasing Matthew for giving “foxy” Mirjana his jacket on the beach. (His defense? “She was cold! And, I was trying to flirt.”)

Commercial break cliffhanger: Kelly introduces Yu Tsai (who’s worked with Kate Upton and Irina Shenk, among other celebrities), who will not only photograph this challenge, but will work as creative consultant on every shoot this season. Romeo calls him “a genius,” Mirjana calls him “hard core.” Will’s super nervous.

The models pour into skintight dominatrix bodysuits and leather boxer briefs. Tsai gives each of the dominatrices a one-on-one coaching session before they climb on top of each other in an intertwined tangle of limbs and leather wrist cuffs. “Whose hand is on my nipple?” Denzel wonders as they sandwich themselves together.

Tsai insists he’s not looking for them to be perfect, but instead wants to determine who has the most potential.

So what does Tyra Banks think of this gothic group photo? “Insane!”

The panel only agrees on a few models:

  • Miss J likes Danny, but Kelly can’t taken him: “He looks like he’s at an audition for Cabaret.”
  • Tyra feels Romeo, Miss J calls him “the original bitchcraft.”
  • Tyra wonders about Adam: “Is that passion? Or is that crazy?”
  • Kelly on Will, the resident ballerina: “I love him! He’s Nordic, he’s American, he’s Texan, he’s gay, everyone’s going to love him. He’s adorable.”
  • Miss J says Lenox has the body of two different people, but Kelly argues “she’s moody, eerie, my little Christina Ricci indie girl.”
  • Everyone agrees Kari is a contender; Tyra points out while “everything” is wrong with Kari’s face: “her mouth is too big for her face, her forehead is huge (holla!), her eyes are too wide apart” it all adds up to model.

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In the end, the judges crush the dreams of eight hopefuls, and 14 models live to catfight another day.

Tyra calls Chantelle and Will first. During the shoot, Tsai compared Chantelle to the X-Men, impressed with her confidence. Miss J worries she poses like “Modeling 101,” but Kelly says she could earn a “master’s degree in courage.” (Aww, Kelly!)

Also safe: Keith, Kari, Mirjana, Matthew, Lenox, Ben, Romeo, Ivy, Raelia, Shei, Adam and Denzel.

Josh the farmer is out; Danny, too, though he’s pragmatic about the outcome and promises third time’ll be the charm; Jamie Rae, who Tsai described as a “beauty pageant girl” and “dead inside,” insists it’s a “joke” she’s eliminated; Lindsey just sobs.

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Next Week:
The remaining 14 will walk in a fashion show, which, according to Tyra will be “like we have never done on ANTM,” with a wardrobe “unlike any other,” because they’ll be wearing silly string. Plus, more flirting, fighting and f-bombs!

America’s Next Top Model, rated TV-14, airs Mondays at 9/8C on The CW.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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