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'Witches of East End' recap: Under a spell

Season 2 | Episode 7 | “Art of Darkness” | Aired Aug. 24, 2014

Spells were pretty much running rampant in “Art of Darkness” and that made for a very informative hour! Holy guest stars, we got a nice dose of good-looking men, don’t you think? Old lovers and friends return to the Beauchamp women and new ones attempt to make their mark. Not all of them are to be trusted.

Most of the stories are intertwined, except Killian’s. Off by himself, literally talking to himself, Killian faces dire circumstances. The only person he can trust is himself—even if it’s by way of video texts.

What is Eva trying to do, exactly? Admittedly, I’m grasping at straws, but they seem to be fairly fruitful. Eva has done something to Killian to wrap him so tightly around her finger, but it’s not permanent. Somehow, Killian starts to break free of her grasp.

woee082414_old_eva-1

How incredibly awful would it be to wake up in bed to find your lover to be about 90 years old? That’s exactly what happens to Killian as the veil around Eva’s spell starts to drop. At some point he sent to himself a video (that he has since forgotten that he recorded) telling himself he can’t trust Eva and he’s under a spell. Unfortunately, Eva gets to Killian before he has time to process what he just told himself. From what I can tell, she’s trying to bring back a former lover through Killian. She must be a really old and he must be really dead. Killian loses himself again; for now.

woee082414_you_love_freya-1

Brother Dash remains very lost, as well. He appears to want something more than friendship with Ingrid because of the close bond they’ve formed from experiencing a bit of hell together, but he’s lying to her. One minute he buys her couture (the same as he did for Freya on their second date) and whispers sweet nothings in her ear. The next, he’s off dealing with Kyle Hutton’s father.

Why did I think the spell with the little man in the Mason jar would eradicate all suspicion toward Dash and Ingrid? It didn’t. Hutton tells Dash he has all the resources he has available trying to discover why Kyle’s car was found near the Gardiner place. How did he even know the two were acquainted? Oh well. It doesn’t matter. Dash’s fear takes him on a dark path and he kills the guy with his hand lighting. That’s what he lies to Ingrid about. He must realize Ingrid will only accept so much darkness before she turns her back on him. He’s probably right.

woee082414_just_friends-1

Freya clearly states she’s unhappy about Ingrid stepping out with Dash, but it doesn’t stop Ingrid. While at the art gala, Freya makes sure to send the stink eye their way more than once. She’s right that Dash is bad news, but is that a permanent thing or will he find his way back to light again? I want to think it’s right for Ingrid to wait, but she could end up in a heap of trouble.

woee082414_whos_hot-1

The most stunning creature of the night is Wendy. At 43, Mädchen Amick wipes the floor with her younger (also gorgeous) co-stars. She looks that amazing. Even better, Wendy’s story receives great attention. Her ex-husband, Ronan (hunky guest star Eddie McClintock), is the artist they’re all there to celebrate. Wendy has no idea but notices something eerily familiar about the paintings—they all seem to carry a bit of her.

It’s no coincidence. Ronan has spent 20 years thinking about Wendy and changing (he claims) to become a better man than he was when they were together. While I like paramedic Tommy (who Wendy is in love with), it was fun to see her with Ronan. She lit up like she hasn’t yet with Tommy. Perhaps that’s what we have to look forward to as their relationship progresses. It’s a little bit creepy to learn the reason Ronan’s artwork sells for millions–a strand of Wendy’s hair creates each piece of art and he needs a bunch of it to tide him over.

woee082414_kisses-1

Ronan says the work brings in millions per piece, so hopefully he’s consulted a good financial planner. Something tells me if he did that, he wouldn’t be asking for another stalk of hair. Wendy wishes him the best, but will not be a part of his future not matter how he lights her up nor will she be parting with her locks to finance more artistic endeavors.

Just after I brought up the fact that Frederick hasn’t shown an interest in friends or lovers since his arrival in East End, he sneaks a girl into his room, a girl who Joanna sees naked when she walks in on them. Awkward! Caroline’s concern about being seen in her birthday suit seems justified; after all, who wants her boyfriend’s mom to see her boobs? Joanna’s so cool she just laughs it off, the real excitement coming from the news Frederick has someone in his life.

woee082414_caroline-1

Frederick has more than just Caroline. He has Tarkoff, too. Who? A dear old friend of mom and dad’s from Asgard played by none other than (still smokin’) James Marsters (Spike, to you Buffy the Vampire Slayer aficionados)! Gosh, he never wears thin. Can he guest star in every supernatural drama on television? Please and thank you. Once more, with feeling… Please and thank you!

Although the friendship between Tarkoff and Joanna predates the Beauchamp women being exiled from Asgard, Tarkoff now sides with the king. He’s in town to check in on Frederick’s progress carrying out the king’s orders. Another impression I had was the impossibility of maintaining communications from Asgard to our side. Am I missing a detail? Tarkoff wonders if  Frederick still wants his sisters to return to Asgard with him, per their big plan. Frederick says he does, but killing Joanna, a necessary to evil to achieve that objective, doesn’t come as easily to him as it should.

woee082414_hello_spike-1

Were you surprised to learn the pulsating scar on Frederick’s chest is the soul of the king? Who saw that coming?

As the living vessel of the king, Frederick cannot be harmed. If he dies, so dies the king. Tarkoff might be put off by this little development, but he’ll stick around to see how it plays out. That works for me. Joanna brought Frederick around to her side (I think); maybe she can do the same with Tarkoff.

Your turn! If you were happy to see the flood of guest stars and breathtaking beauty displayed by Wendy, Ingrid and Freya—raise your hand!

Witches of East End airs on Lifetime Sundays at 9/8c.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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