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'The Awesomes' recap: Bananas and breadsticks

Season 2 | Episode 3 | “Destination Deading” | Aired Aug 11, 2014

Last week, The Awesomes promised the viewers that no superpowered character ever stays dead for long. It followed through on that promise by revealing that Hotwire, Prock’s love interest and the only member of the team to die in season 1, was protecting the world in the guise of the anonymous vigilante Metal Fella. This week, they doubled down on that promise with an even more shocking reveal: the return of Doctor Malocchio! Bum dum duuuuuhhhhm!

Well, maybe “return” is a strong word. Just like his daughter, Hotwire, Doctor Malocchio was rescued from the explosion at the end of last season by a hero nobody saw coming. But while Hotwire was reduced by a teleporting alcoholic, Malocchio was picked up and shot into space by his long time archnemesis, Mr. Awesome. But why? Why would Malocchio’s longtime foe, who had just seen him take over and destroy the world, save him from sure destruction? The answer, as it turns out, isn’t all that farfetched.

While watching from space, Mr. Awesome was reminded of a time when Malocchio was not evil. Before he took the infamous evil serum—which infamously made its return in episode 1 of this season in the hands of Malocchio Junior—Dr. Malocchio was an all-around okay guy. No evil, no destruction. And really, what more could you ask for? So, remembering his old friend, Mr. Awesome saved Malocchio from the explosion  having decided to use the rest of his retirement to hunt out a cure for the evil serum) to save Malocchio from himself. In exchange, Malocchio whips up dinner from the only products available onboard Mr. Awesome’s secret space science station: grapes, cinnamon, beans and chewing tobacco.

Meanwhile, on Earth, the team is getting ready for a trip to Catalina Island. Muscleman’s sister, Abby, is getting married to David Apelstien, a chiropractor from a civilization made up entirely of highly intelligent apes. And while nobody seems to have any issue with the possible implications of this interspecies union, which seems rather progressive of the team, everybody sure is upset about having to travel to Catalina for the affair. And they are pulling no punches complaining to Muscleman about it. Everyone, that is, except Frantic, who is pumped to go to #CI. Get it trending, people!

Perfect Man, who is still a fugitive on the run from the law, is none to pleased about having to hide out in Awesome Mountain by himself either. While the team is off scuba diving and staying in very expensive cottages that don’t have Wi-Fi, he’ll have to keep his location and identity a secret. The biggest problem for him with this plan seems to be that he won’t be able to order pizza and breadsticks. But he promises to do his best to lay low. Spoiler: He buckles under the pressure and orders the pizza and breadsticks.

In the evil lair of Malocchio Junior, he still has a throat. His mother is doing her best to heal him and his sonic superpowers, but all Malocchio can do is rant about the vengeance he will have on the Awesomes. While browsing Frantic’s Facebook page, he sees that the group is going to #CI for a wedding and recognizes some of the apes who will be attending the wedding. This, Malocchio Junior decides, will be how he gets his revenge on the Awesomes for destroying his vocal chords (and also killing his father and sister).

Meanwhile, on Catalina Island, things just keep getting harder for the Awesomes. Paul is made uncomfortable that children are apparently discouraged and isn’t sure he should have come. Concierge finds the whole affair to have been poorly planned. And apparently Impresario is footing the bill for the whole trip. Things go from difficult to downright creepy when the team meets Elliot Levy-Apelstein, David’s uncle and proud ape, who seems to be a little speciesist against humans. But the group figures they’ll just keep their heads down and get through the weekend as best they can.

As everyone prepares for the wedding, Prock and the team go to wish Abby good luck. But lo, the drama did ensue. Apparently Prock once kissed Abby in a round of Spin the Bottle in the seventh grade. Since then, though, she denies it. Abby has been taken by Prock’s charm and has remained unable to shake his spell. That means she assumes hopes everything Prock says to her is an advance.

Perfect Man’s life is just as tough. When the pizza man shows up, he blows Perfect Man’s cover. So, to try to save himself from the long arm of the law, he does what any irrational, self-obsessed superhero would do. He knocks the pizza guy unconscious and flies him to China, destroying every camera he sees along the way.

Back on #CI, Malocchio Junior’s scheme has sprung as Elliot Levy-Apelstien and his speciesist army have armed themselves to the teeth for the wedding. When they all draw down on the lovely couple, trying to stop the interspecies relationship, Prock stops time to save the day. He switches out everyone’s guns with bananas—distracting half of the apes and befuddling the other half of the fighters. This gives the rest of the Awesomes—including the newly inducted Concierge—time to use their various powers to save the day.

What will Malocchio Junior’s next scheme to destroy the Awesomes be? Will the team be able to rein in Perfect Man? Will we get to see the Dr. Malocchio/Mr. Awesome spin-off series we all want and deserve? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. And be sure to check back next week to see what Seth Myers and company have in store!

 The Awesomes can be seen on Hulu.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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