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'The Strain' recap: And the Mother of the Year Award goes to ... not Joan

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “Runaways” | Aired Aug 10, 2014

“The strain” is finally spreading, and it looks like people are still choosing to make terrible life decisions—like not calling the cops or taking the fact that people have tentacles shooting from their throats seriously. In the fifth episode of The Strain, “Runaways,” we start to see the Master’s plan unfolding in New York City. We also learn that Gabe’s manager is a horrible person; the rats are, in fact, being run out of the sewers by another predator; and Joan thinks her children smell delicious. Here’s everything you need to know about this episode of The Strain.

Ephraham: Poor Eph is having a pretty rough first day on his new “time to save the world from an impending vampire apocalypse” job. Before he and Abraham get straight to work, Eph shares that he’ll need to record the whole thing, so the CDC/federal government/people with tanks and machine guns can help them. This is the first truly smart idea we think Eph has had. Abraham can clearly hold his own with his silver wizard staff, and if Eph can get footage of these nasty vamps, maybe the big guns at the CDC will actually believe him and take action. Abraham arms Eph with a staple gun that shoots silver staples, and they head over to Ansel’s house. They find his wife—who hanged herself. Can’t say we didn’t see that coming.

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The Strain, episode 105: Strigoi (Michael Gibson/FX) They find Ansel in the shed, and he seems to have anointed himself a No. 2, as his neighbor is still “alive” in there with him. Team Ephraham slices and dices them and burns down the shed. Eph heads over to the CDC to show his boss, Everett, the video of them killing Ansel. His boss is clearly mentally agreeing that something is messed up, but while he leaves the room to make some calls, Jim shows up and alerts Eph that they found the video of him hiding the pilot’s body, and he’s in huge trouble. They pretty much just think he’s a murderer now.

While Eph rushes out, Jim tries to get the phone from him so they can’t “track” him. Eph tosses the SIM card, but keeps the phone so he doesn’t lose his evidence. It seems like Jim is trying to make up for what he did by helping in any way he can. Pretty sure no amount of apologizing is going to make up for what he did.

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Flashback time (yes!): We finally get a glimpse into Abraham’s past and, as expected, he was in a Jewish concentration camp during the Holocaust. He and a friend worked in a carpenter’s shop in the camp, and at night, Abraham saw the Master infecting and draining the others there with him in the middle of the night. We also see Thomas as a Nazi officer!

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Not that surprising, since he’s a complete and total jerk, but we had a feeling he may have been a vampire for much longer than the early 20th century. Who knows, he may have been a vampire at that time already, but from the way his character was portrayed in this flashback, we’re guessing no.

Worst mother EVER: As if Joan (the lawyer survivor) wasn’t enough of a coldhearted *cough* already, we witnessed her transitioning amongst her children. She’s sick at home—which, by the way, looks like Tony Stark’s house—and lying in bed with a pale face and red eyes. Her children come bouncing into her room to bring her breakfast, along with their nanny. Joan’s vampire conscience thinks that they themselves are the breakfast, and she’s seduced by the blood thirst to stare longingly at the veins pumping in their necks. Their nanny, luckily, rushes them out of the room, and Joan is ruder than ever to her, complaining about anything she can. Then Joan’s eyes do the flicky-thing (see: Gabe sans magic zone below).

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Joan doesn’t realize what’s happening to her, and the nanny doesn’t care to find out. She goes to the movies with the kids, and we’re hoping they never come back. Joan didn’t let them leave without sniffing them goodbye, though. She literally smelled her children like an animal before the nanny got them out of the house. Ephraham is coming for you, Joan.

Gabe’s manager is a terrible human being: Remember that urologist that was supposed to make a house call for Gabe? Well, she comes by and Gabe is all, “Fantastic. Thanks for dinner.” His manager sees Gabe’s tentacle and watches him drag the doctor away to eat her. So what does she do? Why, what any self-respecting citizen would do: Call a cleaner. Yes, she calls someone to cover up Gabe’s murder and leaves out the fact that he might be an alien. The poor cleaner shows up and starts wiping up blood and telling Gabe what his cover story should be. Needless to say, Gabe gets dessert.

Vasiliy: At work, Vasiliy talks to the secretary (you know, the one who is head over heels in lust with him) about how they’ve been seeing more rats than ever all over the city. Vasiliy, being the expert he is, knows that something must be forcing them to leave the sewers. He decides to investigate and heads down into a sewer alone. He finds something slightly alarming. It’s the herd of vampires from the morgue!

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They’ve apparently made their home down there, with whoever else they’ve turned. Vasiliy manages to escape and climb up to the street. The sunlight streaming down burns the vampires, keeping them from crawling up after him.

Nora: She’s still not coping well with what she saw in the last episode. I suppose dissecting a creature that used to be human and almost killed you, and then watching a vampire child get beheaded, could be hard to handle. Nora gets a call that her mom busted out of her nursing home again and heads over there. Her poor mother fails to understand why Nora can’t just take her home. It is actually pretty sad to watch. Don’t worry, though, Mama Martinez! All of a sudden, there’s a commotion in the hallway, and we see that a vampire is in there eating people! Nora whisks her mother away frantically, and it looks like she’s going home after all. Maybe this whole vampire outbreak was all just a plot by Nora’s mother to get out of the nursing home. Yup, that’s definitely it.

This episode was full of information, and leaves our characters at a turning point: Believe the impossible and fight, or hide in your room and cry and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns to try and conjure up the cojones to do something? Seriously, WWBD?

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Sound off with your predictions below. And if you can’t wait until next Sunday, check out this awesome behind-the-scenes video, in which the cast discusses the mythology of the show. There are also shots of how they created that disturbingly awesome pilot autopsy scene. Enjoy! #FangsOut

xoxo,

TeamTSD

The Strain airs Sundays at 10/9C on FX.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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