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'The Quest' recap: All I see is dubs

Season 1 | Episode 2 | “Tournament for the Queen” | Aired August 7, 2014

The Paladins awake to a servant pounding on their doors, informing them that the queen is requesting an audience, so they change out of their leather jammies to oblige. Their good friend Crio guides them to the throne room, with Sir Ansgar, head of the royal army and the “drill sergeant” from the last episode, and the grand vizier looking on. The vizier cracks wise and says, “I see you’ve lost one already,” referring to Katie, who was the first to be banished. Before we can think about how much of a jerk the vizier is, the queen walks through the doors and addresses our kneeling Paladins.

She seems to understand what the Paladins are trying to do, treats them with respect and tells them “all our hopes rest on your shoulders,” which gives the would-be heroes a morale boost. An unimpressed Ansgar mentions not wanting to waste resources on them, while the vizier seems to just dislike them. The queen sets them straight and demands that the Paladins be treated as her honored guests—right before a soldier bursts through the throne room doors and proceeds to die in Ansgar’s arms. The dark power of Verlox is coming.

This leads our Paladins to the next challenge. If they are going to defend Everealm from Verlox, they’re going to have to learn to fight while riding horses. So the queen and vizier look on as our heroes attend Horseback 101 with Professor Ansgar. While training, Leticia loses her Sunspear piece, and Professor Ansgar puts her on blast in front of the queen before giving it back to her.

Our heroes then go up against a gauntlet of challenges: While on horseback, they have to shoot arrows, throw spears, lance dummies and smash skulls for points. Jasmine goes first and kills it, scoring 91 points and earning a smile from Ansgar, a feat among feats. Ashley, who is actually a horse trainer, surprisingly struggles—none of her arrows stick and her spear is off target. Leticia is sluggish on the horse, and the vizier whispers to the queen, poking fun at how long it takes Leticia to finish the course.

Bonnie, who won the Mark of Leadership in the first episode, doesn’t do well either, and almost falls off her horse during the challenge. After doing so well in the prior challenge, she feels that she let Ansgar and the queen down. Andrew ties Jasmine’s score and awkwardly calls the queen “M’lady.” He then proceeds to mentally facepalm.

Shondo unleashes his inner Legolas and scores 183 points, shattering everyone else’s scores. This prompted the best line of the episode to come from the man himself:  “All I see is dubs!” (“Dubs” means wins.) Something tells me this won’t be Shondo’s only dub. The biggest surprise was Christian, who seemed to be a strong, agile Paladin, but finished near last to earn himself a second trip, along with Jim and Ashley, to the Fates challenge.

As the Paladins congregate in front of the Fates for the next challenge, they are surprised and haunted to see Katie’s face projected above them as a reminder of who they have lost. The challenge pits the three against each other in a horseshoeing contest. The one who can accurately hammer out lead horseshoes, cool them in water and nail them to a wheel first wins. A confident Christian falters and cracks under pressure, causing him to sloppily rush through steps, which comes as a surprise to the rest of the group. Ashley, a horse trainer, should have a leg up, but also has trouble nailing the shoes to the wheel. Jim, focused as a laser beam, finishes first and wins his way back into the fold.

The group is torn between Christian and Ashley, because they both seem to have potential to be the one “true hero.” Shondo speaks up and reminds everyone that they are going to war, and if they are going to choose between the two, it should be someone who doesn’t crack under pressure when they are needed most.

When the Fates call for the Paladins to stand behind their choice, Shondo notably stands behind Ashley, but it’s still a toss-up. Andrew ends up being the deciding vote and stands behind his roommate Christian, sending Ashley into banishment.

In the evening, the Paladins join Ansgar, who is in civilian clothes, and Crio for a dinner in the courtyard. The queen ends up joining them and tells them fond memories of her and her brother growing up in Castle Sanctum. The vizier lurks in and the queen invites him to join them in a celebratory toast. He stands at the queen’s side as they drink. After the toast, the queen grabs her neck and begins to choke. It seems as if she’s been poisoned! Ansgar and Crio rush to help and the Paladins stand by, mouths agape, shocked.

The Quest airs Thursdays at 8/7C on ABC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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