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All's well that ends hell on the 'Dominion' season finale

Season 1 | Episode 8 | “Beware Those Closest to You” | Aired Aug 8, 2014 

Previously on Dominion: Alex learned that Michael has a bloody past. Noma was revealed to be a higher angel. David finally ate his soup.

Now THAT was a finale! “Beware Those Closest to You” better have been a season finale as opposed to a series one. Do you hear me, Syfy?!

Alex interrupts David’s presentation to the Senate about how Willy’s soup recipe could be the biggest export to come out of Vega since the Becca Dominion - Season 1Thorne Angel Wing Remover™ (patent pending). He’s here to let the politicos know that Michael is a lyin’, dangerous crazy and that, thanks to him, your dog walker can probably sprout wings and murder you.

Becca and Michael meet in the orgy tower, and she lets her ex know about Alex’s testimony. She warns him that he’s going to be voted into exile. Michael’s all, “Whatevs, Becky, protect Louis, and I am capable of love, you know,” and flies off. My apologies for having killed Louis off last recap, but he’s going to wish he actually did take the dirt nap when he finds out about Becca’s idea of “protection.” 

Alex goes to make Claire regret her wedding day. Hopefully her attendant lady isn’t the kind to brutally wing-stab children. Can I pause here and opine that, even though this is the future, salmon-colored wedding dresses should never be the look? Neither should whatever is going on with her hair. That flat tangle? No. Wear it half-up, or in a chignon, or just veil it. Then again, if this wedding ensemble is Claire’s way of voicing her displeasure at having to marry a man she doesn’t love, message received.

Claire takes the opportunity to express her regret over not leaving with Alex and Bixby for New Delphi that fateful night. It’s just this damned sense of civic pride that General Eddie instilled in me when he wasn’t banging the demon angel wearing my mother’s face. Alex retorts that it was Claire who convinced him to stay. Claire brings up how well the eviction of her mother went. Alex wants to know if perhaps her marrying Willie isn’t entirely about the city? Is it about the power, Claire? This is basically every argument I’ve had with my husband, but instead of life and death and supernatural politics being the impetus, it’s usually over whether he loves the dog more than me and why do we have 17 episodes of Hoarding: Buried Alive on the DVR.

General Eddie and Arika receive a solemn and pastel retinue from Helena. They’re bearing a box. Since we know that a box from Helena inevitably contains something dead as opposed to something from Amazon Prime, it’s unsurprising to learn that it’s Evelyn’s severed head. Arika’s plan worked, but she mourns the fallen feminist city-state leader.

Oh, Michael and Alex are running a con on everyone and Alex denouncing his mentor is just a smokescreen to lure Gabriel to his death. You foolers! And while we’re on the subject of lies and deceit, we learn that Uriel is hidden amongst the lesbian pastel brigade from Helena and that she’s sapphoing Arika. Actually, she’s not sapphoing “Arika,” because “Arika” is the famed EVELYN. Lesbians get so much done in a day. *Pours a forty out for that poor girl who’s minus a head due to political intrigue*

We’re gathered here today to witness the joining of grudge-haired Claire and soup chef Willy in unhappy matrimony. She’s actually going through with the salmon resentment dress, and he’s got an all-black tux on, so I don’t see this ending well. My feelings are reflected by the disbelieving and hilarious side-eye Becca is throwing at this shit show from the audience. Tell it, bitch. I can’t find Becca’s portrayer Rosalind Halstead on Twitter. She needs to get on there, so I can worship her with my honeyed tweets. William lets Claire know that he doesn’t expect her to give it up to him tonight. Claire is grateful but she’s also saying, “I appreciate the sentiment but that was never gonna happen. I’ve had the Chosen One. Soup would be a downgrade,” with her eyes.

Alex and Michael meet up in an abandoned water park, and Michael admits that he was indeed a psychotic killing machine in service to his father. He was merely following Dad’s orders, but changed his tune when Gabriel and Uriel beat his ass, and the kid he was trying to kill gave him a pull offmaxresdefault his coconut water. Michael reveals all of this while intensely pacing around. I know he’s just keeping an eye out for enemies, but it’s very restless-leg.

Noma flies in, and we’re a long way from wet slapfights. They plan to lure Gabriel there, and part of this has been accomplished by Noma spreading her wings for Gabriel’s dude Furiad. Noma is full of surprises. She tries to make peace with Alex, but he’s unwilling to forgive. He’ll work with her, but he’s not about to trust her slaps again anytime soon. Furiad has been lured to a very skeevy motel room to be thrown into terrible murals by Michael. He’s going to get Noma into Gabriel’s aerie, so she can trick him into meeting up with Alex to be killed. Noma shares a swig of scotch with Alex, does that passive-aggressive thing where you mention how you probably won’t be coming back from this business meeting alive, and flies off.

In addition to being a politician and a shady bitch, Sen. Becca Thorne is also a scientist. She’s learned that angels can be killed and are sensitive to electrical shocks. She means well but she’s also got a bit of Mengele in her, so I’m a little disappointed. General Eddie receives this info, but so what? He’s leaving Vega. Refraining from mentioning that his daughter told him to hit the bricks, he says that he’s off to New Delphi to live out his remaining years as the character actor in every single television show and movie you’ve ever seen.

The wedding is over, so Claire’s hair is free to live its own life now. She’s meeting with “Arika” and “handmaiden Laurel,” so she’s gotten a womyn-power blowout for the occasion. Uriel deduces that Claire is knocked up with Alex’s baby and screw nuclear power, we’ve got a half-Chosen One baby to exploit! The plan is to take Claire and child to Helena, lure Alex there, translate his tats, and learn how to take out Michael and Gabriel so peace will reign. There are A LOT of variables to that plan. What if Rosetta Stone doesn’t come in a Supernatural Tattoos Edition?

Noma shows up at Gabriel’s cave in Denver and lies a lot. He’s pretty much the smartest man on the show and realizes that this is all a trap. He surrenders himself to Vega, and the fools actually take him in. Vega’s political power players meet to discuss what to do with him. No one takes my suggestion to make him the weekend go-go boy at Vega’s gay bar seriously. Ethan can hook him up. Becca wants to blow his ass up, but the secretly acolytic Whele men weasel for a stay of execution. Claire sidebars the meeting to #sorrynotsorry David about the eye scarf blackmail, and they agree that Gabriel can live for a night until after he’s interrogated.

Gabriel is ensconced in a big electrified cubic zirconium and gets a visit from Claire. She wants to know what’s the name of this game he’s playing; she Dominion - Episode 1.08 - Beware Those Closest To You - Promotional Photo knows it’s not Sorry. Gabriel changes the subject and claims to be all-knowing. For example, he knows her favorite flower is desert sage and that she’s knocked up. 

Having realized they’re chilling in the desert for naught, Alex and Michael return to Vega to check out Gabriel’s neat cell. Claire gets all “I’m the lady of the city and I’m boss of everything” with her baby daddy and tells him to stay away from Gabriel. She leaves and Alex goes right in, because, men. Gabriel does the Maury and Alex exits to confirm whether or not there’s going to be baby puke on his Chosen One tats in the near future.

Michael visits Gabriel to reminisce, and we learn that he and Gabriel are twins and share a special bond. Gabriel is so over that bond thing and messes with Michael’s head by revealing his restraints are made from the same metal Furiad stabbed him with—and that a creep around Louis’ head showed him that Becca isn’t so much protecting him as treating him like the frogs in a tenth-grade biology class.

Alex learns he IS going to be a dad as William eavesdrops. He won’t be sporting Chosen One Jr. in a BabyBjörn around Vega, however, as Claire intends to keep the baby away from him for its own safety. Alex understands and steps up the guard around his baby mama. But wait, why is Michael over at Becca’s green-lit torture lab? It’s because he has to see all the angel parts his ex-bae has left all over her house in the name of research. Alex shows up, and he and Michael discover a tortured Louis, who begs Michael to kill him. Michael complies and is a little pissy. He expresses his anger by BRUTALLY MURDERING BECCA AND HER GUARDS WHEN THEY ARRIVE. Seriously, Vaun? You’re going to kill my favorite character? You’re going to kill her despite that glorious wedding side-eye? Maybe this should be a one-season deal. Someone had better burn down the orgy tower because I can’t bear it if someone else orgies up in there. I’m already so bitter. I also blame you, Alex, for watching Michael kill Becca like this was something you rented from On Demand.

Michael and Alex have a knockdown drag-out over all this slaughter, and Michael exits. This is when an escaped Gabriel steps over Becca’s corpse and into Alex’s brain. He reveals that he’s running things and if Alex doesn’t come over to his side, he will send all of Vega (including Claire, the 140801_2802795_Dominion___Next_Episode___Beware_Those_Close_480x270_480x270_314325059866baby and Noma) to whatever that higher place is called now that God took a Dudley.

It rains in Vega? Really? Don’t the sorority girls lying in the gutters drown? Willy demonstrates that you don’t necessarily need brains to run an underground church, because he gives his new wife Claire a bouquet of desert sage. It’s funny how both Willy and Gabriel know what her favorite flower is—guards, arrest this man! David tells Claire he will handle Willy’s execution. He handles this by burning all of Gabriel’s acolytes alive and setting Willy free in the desert. The weasel has got this.

As Uriel meets up with Gabriel and pledges her loyalty, Alex has Cute Gay Ethan deliver a letter to Claire. It’s to his unborn child, expressing his love and apologizing for not being there for him in the future. He’s going to be far too busy hanging out at Gabriel’s Denver digs, making out with 8-balls and being fitted for flattering pleather trousers.

That concludes the recaps for the first season of Dominion. This show really grew on me, and it totally deserves a second season. Thanks to all of you who read these, commented on them, and dealt with their recapper thinking he’s a lot funnier than he actually is! And a big thanks to Dominion show runner Vaun Wilmott for being so supportive of these recaps on Twitter. I hope I’ll be able to recap a second season!

Dominion on Syfy

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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