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'The Musketeers' recap: An educated woman is a dangerous woman

Season 1 | Episode 7 | “A Rebellious Woman” | Aired August 3, 2014 

Dear Writers of the The Musketeers,

Every week you insist on toying with my emotions. Last week you made me all “squeee” with all those shots of Aramis with a baby. This week you’re making me want to ship almost every character together, and then, when it doesn’t work out, I’m the one who’s all heartbroken.

There’s a large crowd gathered in the streets to watch the king and queen pass. The Musketeers are escorting them, but Athos and Aramis pause to help out a robbery. As the royal couple is about to pass Constance and her friends, one of her young companions decides to jump out onto the carriage. She falls off and is instantly killed. Meanwhile, Constance’s friend Fleur, who had been with her, disappears.

The girl who had been killed was trying to give a message to the queen: a petition for women’s education. The cardinal declares this to be a direct attack on church and state. The Comtesse Ninon De Larroque (Annabelle Wallis), who was the original writer of the petition, arrives to greet the king. She’s a wealthy noblewoman who is in favor of women’s rights and educating females so they do not need to depend solely on men. While she had written the petition in hopes that queen would sympathize with her cause, she had not intended for the young girl to kill herself doing it.

Milady is back this week and the cardinal needs her to do his work again. The treasury is bankrupt and France needs a new navy. Ninon’s wealth would help to fill it back up again. The cardinal wants Milady to infiltrate Ninon’s circle since she is known as a wealthy widow famous for her good works. He wants her to find something to use against Ninon; for example, is her interest in her female students healthy?

The man who had been robbed earlier turns out to be Father Luca Sestini (John Lynch) from Rome, who had gone to seminary with the cardinal. The king asks if he was the Jesuit priest who wrote pamphlets arguing for the Pope’s absolute authority in all matters over national rulers, who could be killed with papal blessing for defying his authority. The king is not a fan of him.

The Musketeers arrive at Ninon’s house to search for the missing Fleur. We see Milady, but upon hearing Athos’ voice, she hides. Athos starts to introduce himself, but Ninon interrupts him:


There’s quite a lot of witty banter in this scene. Aramis wins some points for showing how he understands women, and Ninon calls him a romantic, but it’s the flirty banter between Athos and Ninon that steals the show. It’s obvious to everyone that they are into each other, but they won’t come out and say it right then.

D’Artagnan: Well, if that wasn’t flirting, I don’t know what is.
Porthos: Rubbish. She can’t stand him.
Aramis: One day, we’ll sit down and I’ll explain women to you.

Ninon sees all women as equals, which is why she wants to give as many as she can an education. Athos argues that she can only do that because she is rich. She still asks him when he will see her again, and then SHE makes the move to kiss him. I don’t think Athos minds one bit.

Sestini tells the cardinal that the Pope is worried about France’s alliance with Sweden since they are a Protestant country. He warns him to be careful, because it seems that the cardinal is being considered to replace the Pope. He gives the cardinal a gift from Rome: the knee bone of Saint Anthony. If the cardinal can declare Ninon as a heretic, it will heavily favor his candidacy.

As Ninon gets dressed for a night with Athos, Milady helps her get dressed and tries to find out information about what happened with her and Athos. She warns her of him, but does not reveal their history.

Cut to quite possibly the best thing ever: Athos + a library = HAPPINESS.

athosbooks

More flirting:

Ninon: Don’t look so worried. I won’t kiss you again if you don’t desire it.
Athos: I’m better prepared to fight you off this time.

SURE, ATHOS. SURE.

However, instead of whisking her away to a night of dinner and dancing, he takes her to morgue to shows her the body of the dead girl. Hey, Aramis? You need to teach your friend here a lesson in romance. They have a deep talk about their views on romance and relationships. She knows that her wealth will go to whoever she marries, and he tells her that he was married before, but is now done with romance.

They’re interrupted by fighting inside her house, as the cardinal’s Red Guard have come to storm the place. The guards are destroying everything and the Musketeers fight them off, including one lovely scene in which Aramis takes down several of them WITH A BOOK. But then the guards bring out Fleur along with some other girls who had been hiding in the house and arrest Ninon. Athos feels betrayed.

The cardinal wants to avoid a public hearing, but have Ninon put on trial for being a witch. Athos is all very business about this, but Aramis gives her his cross (that the queen gave him) and tells her that his God will not abandon her. (To quote Love Actually: “And he’s a Christian!”) During the trial, Ninon won’t confess to the crimes. Fleur is brought as witness and says that she was taught things like philosophy and the secrets of their bodies, which the cardinal then twists into being interpreted that they were kept in a locked room and taught intimate things. He brings Milady up to testify, who lies and says that Ninon drugged her, undressed her and placed spells on her. Athos realizes that it’s her and starts yelling that she’s a liar. He doesn’t, however, reveal their relationship.

The court finds Ninon guilty as a witch, and she is to be executed. However, the queen enters and says that by the king’s orders, unless Ninon confesses freely and without torture, she is to be spared her life. The cardinal seems defeated and takes a drink of water. Suddenly he starts gagging and choking. It appears he’s been poisoned. (Or it could possibly be the cardinal about to regenerate into the new Doctor in Doctor Who.) Antidotes to reverse the symptoms and their techniques back in the day look quite awful.

cardinal

Meanwhile, the queen asks Aramis about the cardinal’s condition. But really, she just wants to know why the necklace she gave him is on Ninon’s neck. “Is she one of your lovers?” Very subtle. Forget the king. I ship this couple SO HARD.

When the cardinal awakens, he sees Milady. He asks if it was she who had poisoned him, as it turns out this was not planned at all. He needs her to extract a written confession from Ninon. When Milady goes to do this, she tells Ninon that she doesn’t hate her; she’s just a victim of circumstances. If she doesn’t confess, all the other women will die in her place. Thus, she gets the confession. When the cardinal receives this, he doesn’t seemed particularly happy. It seems that the near-death experience made him realize that he had done terrible things, his account with God is not yet balanced and he is afraid of going to hell.

The Musketeers go to the morgue and find the bag that had been stolen. It turns out the thief who had stolen Sestini’s bag drank a bottle that contained poison—the same poison that afflicted the cardinal. They rush to go tell him (Porthos: “This is the cardinal we’re talking about. Why are we running?”), because Ninon is being led out to her death at that very moment. They get to his room to find Sestini about to murder the cardinal. But before he can, the cardinal fights back and stabs him; then, for good measure, Athos shoots him too. It turns out that the knee bone had been poisoned.

Athos begs the cardinal to stop the execution. The cardinal admits that this is all very Dark Ages and that he isn’t a cruel man, just a practical one.

Just in the nick of time, Athos rushes out to save Ninon, who was on a burning pyre. The cardinal tells her that to everyone else, she did indeed die today, and that all her wealth now belongs to the state. But he’ll allow her a small income to live a quiet life outside of Paris. Looks like someone did get his way after all.

Before her departure, Ninon tells Athos that she wants to open up a school. He doesn’t tell her about his relationship with Milady, though she warns him to be careful about her. She tells him that it’s a shame he doesn’t believe in romance, because she could have loved a man like him.

WHY????? Why must you make Athos the tortured soul? Can you not give him a bit of happiness???? ARGH! RUN AFTER HER! COME ON, ATHOS!

Meanwhile, Constance and D’Artagnan talk about Fleur’s recent news that she won’t have to marry a man she doesn’t love. D’Artagnan starts talking about  all the qualities he likes in Constance and it embarrasses her. He then says, “Why shouldn’t I list all the reasons why I love you?”

Um. Awkward moment. “I mean … admire … respect …”

Constance tells him to repeat what he really meant, and then they proceed to get it on. Well, I’m glad SOMEONE got some action in this episode, though I’m not too sure Constance’s husband will share my sentiments.

Lots happening in this episode, with women’s rights and religious issues being dealt with according to the time period. I also really hope that Ninon returns to the series. I want Athos to smile again. Please, writers: Make it so.

The Musketeers airs on Sundays 9/8C on BBC America. 

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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