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‘Dominion’ recap: Eviction notice

Season 1 | Episode 6 | “Black Eyes Blue” | Aired July 24, 2014

Previously: It turns out General Eddie’s lady friend with the onyx peepers is using Eddie’s wife’s/Claire’s mom’s bod. That was kind of big. I’ve been meaning to type this for awhile, but Defiance looks WEIRD. The very end of this week’s episode is always caught on my DVR recording of Dominion, so I’m compelled to watch. People are bald or in terrible Andy Warhol wigs and mime makeup and having some sort of bar mitzvah. What?

Vega gleams like a jewel among the post–angel war wasteland. We’re in an old casino vault that’s serving as a makeshift prison cell for the rather flustered Clementine. She’s climbing the walls (literally) as Alex shows her off to Michael. She begs the Chosen One and his mentor not to kill her. Michael is uptight over Alex letting her live. He knows who she is and who she was, and doesn’t care. The 8-balls need to be put down like Justin Bieber and karaoke night. Alex argues that Claire’s mom is still in there because Clementine knows things only she could know. He wants to do an eviction on her. No, he doesn’t want her to collect her sh*t and move out of her room at the Luxor. It’s a Dominion word for forcing an 8-ball out of its host body, like an exorcism. Alex thinks he can pull it off because A) he’s sexy and B) he’s the Chosen One with the godly body art. Michael warns him that it could be dangerous to both him and his evictee. It’s a risk he’s willing to take because, well, Claire, basically.

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 The other lady in question is still working the Bumpit from her engagement party. It’s a regal look. She just found the adorable music box that General Eddie left in her room that he actually  didn’t because it was her possessed mother who did. Thanks, Mom! Dad is uncomfortable, especially when Claire mentions that it plays the ballerina doom song her mom used to hum to her as a child. General Eddie informs Claire that the no confidence vote against him is still taking place despite the Gabriel blackmail scarf she stuffed in David Whele’s jacket. Get out  your lavender eyeshadow and matching serious businesswoman blouse, Claire! It didn’t take  the first time! General Eddie asks Claire to back him up at the meeting.

Willy Whele is at the outdoor Chosen One church when dear old Dad stops by to insinuate that he’s on to his betraying ass and that the gray Gabriel scarf/blindfold culty thingy doesn’t go with any of his stuff. He tells William that the members of “Gabriel’s under-church” (they prefer “undercarriage,” thanks) will be hunted down and executed. Oh, and have a nice service, Son.

Uriel is way into culture. She collects Vermeers and practices ballet in the vault of antiquities she calls home. Michael interrupts her, and she’s all self-conscious, as one would be if they’ve been discovered having donned tights and pointe shoes in the privacy of their home. I know I was when the other Mr. Harvey walked in on me that time:

s01_e0106_05_140553427701___CC___640x360“Uh, this is my funny Halloween costume.”

“It’s April.”

“I’m getting a head start. Shut up.”

Michael wants a certain book (I swear they said “hairography,” but Clementine already HAS nice hair) that contains the prayer for eviction. He’s got Vermeer’s Lady with Flute to trade for it. Pfft, Uriel’s already got a Degas, two Seurats, and Action Comics No. 1. She wants something else. It starts with “A,” ends with “X,” and has the Almighty Lord on High as his tattoo artist. Uriel wants a look at those tattoos, and from up close. I think she just wants to see Alex with his shirt off. Who wouldn’t? Alex notes that Michael’s sister is making him uncomfortable. “Welcome to my world,” Michael snarks. Alex would be even more uncomfortable if he knew exactly how many and what bodily fluids have been shed on that former orgy bed he’s hanging out on. Alex gets the book, but the pages are all blank. Uriel offhandedly mentions that angel possessions aren’t anything new, and Alex realizes they’ve been going on for thousands of years. This could totally explain the behavior and dental difficulties of certain ne’er-do-wells in my life. Alex uses his tattoos to bring the book’s pages to glowing life, and we realize being the Chosen One is super-convenient in a lot of situations. If you get locked out of your apartment, will those tats just angel the door open? What about parking tickets? Can the tattoos handle parking tickets?

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Inexplicably, the newest, mouthiest convert to Gabriel’s under church appears to be Willy Whele’s second-in-command. How do we know this? He’s the maitre d’ at Willy’s favorite eatin’ place. Willy has a brief sit-down and orders the broken-ribbed guy to disperse the acolytes and halt meetings for now because Dad’s on to them.

Two gorgeous, powerful women meet and discuss politics. And don’t even tell me that Arika isn’t giving Claire’s Bumpit the lesbian moisture eye. Claire starts her rap about David Whele being a danger weasel, but she’s interrupted by a note from Alex. He’s in the hallway, looking very sleek with his leather crotch-rocket jacket and product in his hair. He got all dolled up in his smugness over exorcising Claire’s Mom’s lower angel tenant. 

Over at the casino prison cell, Claire can’t believe her eyes. She LOOKS like her mom, but this broad has varicose veins all over her face and her incisors are JACKED. Things get icky as Clementine keeps repeating “my little girl, my little girl” over and over again upon seeing Claire. Alex shows ex-girlfriend’s father little to no loyalty by spilling ALL the tea about her dad dating her mom’s body for decades and not telling her. s01_e0106_08_140553428501___CC___640x360Claire is aghast at all this info dumping on her, and tells him to kill Clementine and leave her alone. Alex pleads with her that the only reason he’d ever do this was because he loved her. He also shows her a wrist tattoo, which I assume translates as “I will save your mother’s soul and we will once again be getting after it when the rest of the guys in the barracks are asleep. How do you feel about threesomes? I think Noma could be down to ménage.”

Don’t you hate it when you’re in church and the people in charge tell you that you can’t come to church for a long time and then armed gunmen burst in and kill everyone? Well, that’s what happened with Gabriel’s acolytes. At least this way, they don’t have to worry about not having any change for the collection basket.

General Eddie and Arika both have deep, sensuous voices and they’re using them to their full effect on each other. I know Arika is gay, but these two could make a sexy couple as long as he keeps his dress whites on and she keeps sporting that odd gown with the one clamshell for her left boob. Fashion. Eddie is a sly fox and he does his research. It turns out that Arika’s air force from Helena is actually one B-52 bomber and a pair of Daisy Dukes in camouflage. They’ve been bluffing this entire time that they have some big artillery force. Arika goes with the flow and they get down to those tacks of brass. Eddie’s got a bomb for Gabriel, Arika’s got the plane to drop it from, and the only thing standing in the way is Evelyn, Queen of Helena. As of this convo, she’s not long for this world. Hey, she killed her wife’s sister and had her delivered to her via FedEx. That sort of person shouldn’t expect to die in her sleep at 85.s01_e0106_10_140553429028___CC___640x360

Claire has deigned to meet with Clementine. She lashes out, accusing her of lying just to save her veiny skin. The music box comes up, and Clementine gets very accurate about the song and about “Izzy.” That’s the nickname Claire’s mom called her. It seems that Eddie and Clementine couldn’t agree on a baby name, and Eddie has won out ‘cuz he’s General Eddie. To Clementine’s credit, she refused to call Claire by her name and always called her “Izzy” for her choice of Isabel. That did the trick, and Claire is on board.

Willy Whele happens upon the remnants of his church. The maitre d’ survived somehow, and tells him what happened. He tells Willy that when the soldiers they overpowered and killed don’t return, Daddy Dave’s just going to send more. He wants to tell Gabriel what went down. Willy isn’t feeling that and says that he’ll take care of it. *Cue ominous “the son kills the father” music.*

Alex has got the book, Michael has got ahold of Clementine’s leash, and Claire’s got her hope. Let’s get ready to evict! Clementine might have been all about being Claire’s mom, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to drive anymore. Prayers are said, chains are tugged, and Clementine is climbing the walls and campaigning for squatter’s rights. She finally collapses. And her veins fade. And her eyes go from black to a beautiful blue. It’s Claire’s s01_e0106_12_140553429508___CC___640x360mom. She’s back. And I have the feels suddenly. I HATE THAT. Alex looks so smug that I kinda wish the pudgy flying squirrel from episode 1 would leap in and eat his smug face. Clementine notes how beautiful her daughter is and then promptly lapses into a coma. Yeah, Michael wasn’t kidding when he said this probably wasn’t going to go the way Alex wanted. Claire blames Alex and Michael for her losing her mom again.

We fly now to Vega’s red room for some political redrum. David walks in to find that General Eddie held the no-confidence vote meeting an hour earlier without telling him. Oh, and did David know that Helena’s air force is one B-52 bomber and a bayonet or two? That’s OK, because Edward has cut a deal with Arika. She’s going to supplant Evelyn and Vega is going to take it over. David is all, “Blah blah crazy lesbians!” and Edward is not impressed with his bluster or his homophobia. Oh, would you care to vote on my staying in the big chair or not, David? David, totally cowed, votes in favor of General Eddie staying on.

Uriel is doing some charcoal sketching. It’s of Alex’s tattoos. She’s like that lady on that cop show who never forgets a face, or a peacoat, or the name of her third grade teacher’s dog. Michael makes her promise that she will keep the tattoos to herself and not show Gabriel. This is probably the kind of promise known as “empty” because we know she’s playing both sides against the middle.

The general returns home to eat dinner at his huge table, and smugness is a theme this episode because he’s smiling to himself. The other shoe dropping is another theme because Claire strides in with her music box. She knows everything, she’s been wearing the same dress for two days, ands01_e0106_14_140553430013___CC___640x360 she wants Dad to step down from the Senate so she can replace him. She’ll give him until after she marries Willy Whele. Plunking the music box down on their huge table, she staggers off to kill what’s left of her mother.

Willy Whele totally grows a pair and goes to put a bullet in his dad after admitting he’s running Gabriel’s undercarriage. His dad taunts him as being useless and worthless, but has to admit he’s sort of proud that his son has it in him to murder him. Unfortunately for David (but fortunately for all of us Giles fans), Willy DOESN’T have it in him. He will, however, pistol-whip David into unconsciousness, and bring him to the new church. Go Gabriel. He’s decided to save his father, and by “save” he means “put him through the excruciating rib-cracking with the fancy sash and the big peg.” Anthony Stewart Head can act, ‘cuz damn, I felt that. William soothes his agonized father and welcomes him into the church.

And we end with a traumatized-beyond-tears Claire humming her mother’s song to her as she suffocates her comatose body with a manicured hand. Is anyone else depressed?

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Dominion, rated TV-MA, airs Thursdays at 9/8C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com

TV Families -- We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ''The Brady Bunch'' to ''The Flintstones''

By Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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