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'Almost Human' recap: Attack of the clones

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “Blood Brothers” | Aired Dec 9, 2013

“Blood Brothers” revolves around Avery and his narcissism. It also revolves around Stahl and Kennex’s “relationship,” as it were. But that will be discussed later. The gist of the episode goes like this. Avery is up for beaucoup years in jail for the murder of Dr. Liam Fuller, a fertility specialist. Two witnesses, Haley Myers and Maya Vaughn, saw him kill the doctor in cold blood. But right as Haley is giving her testimony, she’s killed by Avery! But is she? Because Avery is still in handcuffs in the courtroom and Haley and Maya are both in a secure room under witness protection! The mystery begins!

almost-human-blood brothers-2Maldonado is fairly certain that Avery is behind it, but she’s not sure how. When she confronts Avery about this once he’s returned to his holding cell, Avery lights into her, Hannibal Lecter-style. He states, in so many words, that he’s going to win and that she’s using her insecurity about being a woman of a high rank as fuel for putting him behind bars. “I’m surprised you’re not more highly ranked, for a woman your age,” he tells her, saying how she probably keeps certificates on her desk to show just how far she’s made it. (She doesn’t keep a certificate, but she does have an award.) He also says how she longs to have a relationship or someone to look at her as a woman, but it hasn’t happened for a long time. “You’d be content if just one person could see you and want you, but they don’t, do they?” he says. “At the end of the day, it will always be just you, alone.”

I’m not sure the whole Hannibal Lecter discussion is fully earned. Ever since Anthony Hopkins donned the creepy mask and discussed body parts pairing well with “fava beans and a nice Chianti,” tons of serial killer characters have been written as an imitation of that character. Law and Order: SVU  is notorious for this, especially with the latest sociopath, William Lewis. In short, it gets tiring after a while. Rant done.

The team now has a lot of questions. How did the killer find the safe house? Who is the killer? Who is Avery working with? One question is easily answered: The killer bugged the security guard with a QR code-looking tracker sticker to find the safe house. But as to who the killer is? Maya—who manages to escape from the room by the skin of her teeth—tells Kennex and Dorian that Haley told her that Avery did it. Kennex, of course, doesn’t believe her. How could a dead woman tell Maya who killed her? Maya explains that she’s a medium-psychic. “On good days, I’m a petite psychic!” she says, trying to bring some humor to the proceedings. Kennex is not amused. Dorian, however, thinks Maya’s psychic abilities are “fascinating.” Maya acquired her extrasensory abilities from the controversial Cerebellex procedure, which also has the ability to heighten a person’s intelligence and brain capacity. “Maybe you should try it, John,” Dorian snarks, adding yet another brick to the eventually rock-solid hate-love relationship between himself and John.

Rudy does back up Maya’s message from the beyond, saying that vocal chord analysis shows that the voice does belong to Avery. Avery doesn’t have a twin, so how are there two Averys? Cloning. Illegal cloning, since there weren’t any records of Avery on a cloning list.

AH.108.1Adelaide Jones, Fuller’s research assistant, tells Stahl that Fuller was involved with cloning  research. But when legislation against cloning was passed, Fuller’s cloning research dried up and he had to find another avenue of research. However, he did keep the bulk of his research at his mother’s house. Stahl and her MX decide to check it out. However, the mom is not at home. In fact, we don’t know where she is—as far as we know, she’s been killed by the clones. Stahl finds the research—which shows that Avery and Fuller were working together—and gets her MX to send it to Maldonado. He does so in the nick of time, because soon after, he’s shot! Stahl is taken hostage by the Avery clones, planning to use her for leverage in order to get Avery back.

All the while, we get quite a few lines about how important Stahl is to Kennex. The leader clone says over the phone how Stahl could have called anyone, but she called Kennex because he’s important to her. I guess so, but does it make any sense? The clones called Kennex. They could have just dialed any number in her phone, the first one being her friend Kennex’s number.

This isn’t the first time Stahl’s importance to Kennex is brought up in the episode—Dorian makes fun of Kennex by imitating Stahl’s voice and giving fake compliments (“Your fake leg is really sexy”). Also, when Kennex and Dorian have to take Maya back to the precinct after she leaves on a mission to talk to Hayley’s parents on behalf of Haley, she tells Kennex not only of his bad “red” aura, but about a vision she had concerning him. She saw darkness, a bright light, people running, a person emerging from the shadows and the smell of bourbon. We later see that the vision does come true; Valerie and Kennex share a moment in the deserted precinct after hours, watching the soccer game (the running people) in the dark, with Valerie’s secret bourbon stash.

I get it. Stahl and Kennex’s future love is foretold to us. But it just doesn’t seem set up right. Perhaps its a victim of the show’s episodes being aired out of order. I want to believe in their “love,” but I can’t. Right now, it just seems like a crush on Kennex’s part. Stahl kind of likes him, but she never really seems that into him.

AH.108.2Anyway, Maldonado forms a scheme that is as clever as it is risky. To get Stahl back, they abide by the clones’ demands: one cop vehicle, no backup and their cloned brother/father in one piece. But what they don’t know is that Maldonado and Rudy have set up scanners in the prison. The scanners create a hologram of Maldonado and Avery so that the clones will think they are getting their man, Stahl can be given back to the police and Avery can stay in jail. However, having your cake and eating it too can backfire, as it almost does when the hologram shorts out, leading to a shootout. Thankfully, Stahl escapes her captors and runs to the safety of Kennex, Dorian and Rudy. As the clones are trying to get away, Dorian once again goes into overdrive and chases the clones’ van down and flips it over, somehow resulting in a huge explosion. “Did Dorian just flip that van?” Stahl asks, incredulous. Yes, Stahl, he did.

So what was the reason behind Avery killing Fuller? According to the confiscated research, Fuller was the one that cloned Avery. However, Avery, being the narcissistic sociopath that he is, cloned more of himself. Fuller threatened Avery, saying that he was going to go public with the research and expose the clones. In an effort to protect himself and his clones, he killed Fuller. Once Avery has been all but sentenced in court, Maldonado comes over to Avery and gives him a taste of his own medicine—a Lecter-esque speech. No one will remember you, she tells him, meaning that all of his illegality and murdering has been for naught. Maldonado also gets the attention of the prosecutor, who says she looks nice. Another slap in the face to Avery, who will, as Maldonado says, be rotting in his jail, alone.

almost-human-blood brothers-1Dorian and Maya, who bonded throughout this episode, have one final moment together. Earlier, when Dorian and Kennex were attempting to take Maya back the precinct, a shootout occurs between the clones and Dorian and Kennex. Unfortunately, Maya gets shot in the collarbone, resulting in a short hospital stay. While she’s in the hospital, she tells Dorian about her life. Her parents were killed in a car accident around her 19th birthday. In an effort to reconnect with her parents, she undergoes the Cerebellex procedure, resulting in her ability to talk to the dead. But right as she is experiencing her new powers, her childhood home—the last connection she has to her parents—is burned down in an arson fire. Dorian releases a box of the home’s debris from the evidence locker, saying that maybe there’s something she can use to connect to her parents. Thanks to a beautiful doorknob, Maya is able to finally speak to her parents.

I’ll end with two points: Is Maya related to Dr. Nigel Vaughn in some way? Also, the most-referenced thing ever happened in this episode—the moment when Dorian pulled out his junk for Kennex to look at. At first, Kennex couldn’t get the image of the MX’s Ken-doll crotch out of his head, but now he’s got Dorian’s nether regions to think about!

What did you think about this episode? Discuss in the comments section below!


TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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