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'Ray Donovan' season 2 premiere recap: Yo soy capitán

Season 2 | Episode 1 | “Yo Soy Capitán” | Aired July 13, 2014

Showtime’s “Entourage meets The Black Donnellys meets Scandal” drama is back. Ray Donovan returns for a second season of blood, Boston accents and buried childhood trauma. Let the fun begin!

We start right where we left off—Ray (Liev Schreiber) lounges on the beach, clad in a blood-soaked, bespoke suit. It may be a stark image, but damn, Schreiber certainly looks good in a suit. Suddenly, someone shovels dirt onto him. Ray is off the beach and into a grave, being buried alive. Who’s burying him? Mickey? His family? Himself?! It’s a metaphor!

Actually, it’s a dream. Ray wakes up, startled, but safe at home in bed next to his wife, Abby (Paula Malcomson). Shaken, he seems to reach out for his wife to cuddle. Just kidding—he roughly takes her from behind. There are more than a few blurred lines of consent going on here. I don’t think this is what she meant when she told Ray she wanted emotional honesty.

Speaking of dreams, Donovan patriarch Mickey (the recently Emmy-nominated Jon Voight) is living a debauched one. After a few swigs of tequila and hits of marijuana, Mickey leaves his beachfront cabana (and woman) for a morning swim. “Hola, Mickey!” calls out a friendly Mexican dolphin. Sure, why not? She urges him to swim deeper, but he soon grows tired. She tells him, “Ah, no, Mickey. You’re not a sailor. You’re a captain!” Um, OK.

The dolphin morphs into Linda (Rosanna Arquette), last seen slain at Sully Sullivan’s (James Wood) hand. “I’m in a very dark place, Mickey. And you put me here,” she accuses. Mickey is quick to blame Sully, which I guess is technically true. Does hallucinating/dreaming of Linda mean that somewhere deep down Mickey feels (rightfully) guilty about Linda’s death? Does it foreshadow Mickey’s impending demise? Hm …

Meanwhile, back at the Donovan mansion, Bridget (Kerris Dorsey) is officially over Marvin Gaye Washington (Octavius J. Johnson), and Conor (Devon Bagby) is still annoying. Before Bridget and C-money (Ha!) declare war, Ray and Abby defuse the situation. From TV coverage in the background, we learn that the Sully Sullivan incident occurred two weeks ago. On the surface, the family seems to have returned to normalcy in those few weeks. Can’t wait to see how that spectacularly shatters as the season progresses.

Last season’s bombshell was the revelation that Ray, as well as Bunchy, is a victim of Father Danny’s sexual abuse. As a result, Abby and Ray are now attending sessions with a therapist, played by Star Trek alum Brent Spiner. That means Katniss’ mom and Sabretooth are getting therapy sessions from Data. Awesome.

Ray makes a pact with Dr. Data to keep the violence away from the kids. He’s making progress, but leaves early due to a work emergency. That gives Dr. Data the opportunity to voice his concern with Abby over Ray’s sexual appetite and inability to address his abuse. Abby is defensive, and Dr. Data is mostly likely right. Yet I’m not particularly liking Dr. Data’s vibe.

The emergency Ray left therapy to “fix” is a doozy: The FBI is still on the Sully case. Frank, the crooked FBI agent reluctantly in Ray’s pocket, couldn’t cover it up after the ballistics report proved the Donovans are somehow involved. Ray chooses the best option he has left: the truth. He storms into the FBI office and confronts the ambitious Assistant Director Cochran (Hank Azaria).

In as matter-of-fact you can possibly tell someone who hired FBI’s Most Wanted to kill your father, Ray confesses that he paid Sully $2 million to kill Mickey. He also reveals that Mickey is the one who shot Sully. Cochran wants Mickey apprehended, and he wants Ray to deliver him—sooner rather than later.

Ray’s day is never done until a celebrity calls him in a panic. Pro athlete Deonte (Mo McRae) calls Ray, as he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. His wife is threatening to shoot and kill his latest mistress, an American Idol finalist. Ray is able to defuse the situation, but not before Deonte’s wife shoots the Idol hopeful in the arm. With the help of a mugging cover story and the always trusty Lena (Katherine Moennig), Ray fixes the situation. The Idol contestant even uses the incident to her advantage, milking it for an especially “heartwarming” rendition of “My Heart Will Go On.”

Still blabbing about Marvin Gaye Washington, Conor shows off to a girl at school. Jealous and fed up, a classmate accuses Conor of lying and slams his phone onto the ground. Conor slams his classmate down the nearby stairs. Don’t mess with C-money! Abby and Ray (in a new shirt not covered in American Idol blood) meet with the principal, who stresses how grave Conor’s action was, resulting in a five-day suspension. More time to chat with Tommy Wheeler? Uh-oh.

With family and work obligations, Ray still can’t quite shake Cochran and his hunt for Mickey. Cochran shows up at Ezra’s office and spooks him. He even threatens Bridget in a bogus traffic stop with marijuana possession. Ray gets the message: Find Mickey or else.

Down in Mexico, Daryll (Pooch Hall) catches up with Pop Donovan. Mickey has set up a fight for Daryll down there, billing him as “El Negro.” Mickey is so imaginative. The youngest Donovan brother still looks up to him, which means he’s still good for paying Mickey’s debts—oh, and for betting against in mismatched fights. Much to Daryll’s surprise, El Negro/Black Irish is up against La Fuerza, a giant boxing dynamo. He’s (mercifully) knocked out quickly, and Mickey cleans up handsomely, collecting cash as his son lies on the mat.

Mickey enjoys the spoils of his son’s work at Lucy’s Cantina with his new “friends” and paid-for paramour. Daryll learns the hard way what the other Donovan brothers know—Mickey loves Mickey more than anyone else. With Daryll’s help, Ray rolls into the bar to collect Mickey. Mickey refuses to leave—he’s a captain, not a sailor! As Mickey semi-learns from his “paid-for paramour,” “I’m not a sailor. I’m a captain,” are the English translations to lyrics in “La Bamba,” made famous by Ritchie Valens. A bambollero refers to someone boastful or pompous. Describe Mickey, much?

Composed, Ray leaves the bar and calls Cochran to tell him he’s got Mickey. He takes off his new (unbloodied) shirt, picks up a bat from the trunk and reenters the bar. You can guess what happens next.

As for the other Donovan brothers, Bunchy (Dash Mihok) is working hard to turn his life around. He’s quit drugs and alcohol (“and hookers”). He’s living on his own and actively applying for jobs. At his support group, a new attendee, Stan, even asks him out, kind of. Is a healthy romance on the horizon for Bunchy? Probably not, but I have hope that he will at least get some long pants. Terry (Eddie Marsan), my personal favorite Donovan, is not doing so well in the love department. He’s still hung up on Frances (Brooke Smith) and has stooped to calling and stalking her house. Oh, Terry, that can’t end well.

Stray Bullets

  • Am I the only one who was relieved to see that Mickey was fully clothed under that sarong?
  • Conor needs to take his dad’s advice and indefinitely “shut up.”
  • Tiffany’s “My Heart Will Go On” was pretty weak—definitely not worthy of Idol Top 3.
  • How adorable were Lena, Avi and Avi’s mom watching American Idol?
  • Number of f-bombs dropped: 40, plus or minus a few I may have missed in Spanish.

New episodes of Ray Donovan, rated TV-MA, air Sundays at 9 p.m. on Showtime.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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