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'The Almighty Johnsons' premiere recap: Shot through the heart

Season 1 | Episode 1 | “It’s a Kind of Birthday Present” | Aired July 11, 2014

The Almighty Johnsons‘ premiere episode tells the tale of Axl Johnson’s (Emmett Skilton) 21st birthday, which is not all booze, girls and a good time—oh no. Brothers Mike (Timothy Balme), Anders (Dean O’Gorman) and Ty (Jared Turner), along with grandpa Olaf (Ben Barrington), drop a huge family secret on Axl: They are all living incarnations of Norse gods!

Sure, there is no Chris Hemsworth in sight, but these sweet-talking New Zealand brothers will fill your Thor void.

Back to the gods at hand. The brothers, along with Olaf, take to the woods to inform Axl about their family secret and to perform the ritual of finding out which god Axl is. Olaf, after explaining why he does not look like he is in his ’90s, explains that the Norse gods left Scandinavia and traveled to New Zealand for their own protection.

Each brother then shares which god they are. Older brother Mike is Ullr, god of hunt and duel; Anders is Bragi, god of poetry; Ty is Hodor, god of winter and darkness; and grandpa Olaf is Baldr, god of rebirth.

Axl then strips, steps into a circle of rocks, holds a sword in the air and gets hit by a lighting bolt. After the blast, the brothers look to grandpa to find out what god Axl has inherited. Olaf utters the most powerful Norse god name ever: Odin! Cue everyone’s mind being blown!

Olaf then blacks out and leaves the brothers wondering if Axl really is Odin, and what does this mean if he is? Mike drops off Axl at his flat and leaves the family sword in Axl’s procession. Mike also warns Axl that no one can find out about their family secret, revealing that not even his wife knows.

On the other side of town are a group of four women; I am assuming these are the goddesses. They seem very interested in the fate of young Axl. Since Stacey (Eve Gordon) was unable to kill Axl, they now have to wait it out. Though Michele (Michelle Langstone) is all for still killing the young Johnson.

At the party, things seem to be going well. The brothers are waiting for Olaf to wake up to inform them if Axl really is Odin. In the meantime, rebel brother Anders begins to suck up to Axl. It seems like being Odin has its perks. Olaf wakes up and informs the brothers that Axl is only Odin if five significant signs take place: Falling stars, earthquake, dead fish and the sign of Odin have all already happened. The only thing that is missing is Axl having two hearts.

Feeling completely deflated, Axl rejoins the party, believing that he is no longer Odin. There he makes eye contact with one of the “vodka girls” Anders brought to the party, who is actually Michele. Axl follows Michele through a park. Michele then draws an arrow at Axl (she is dressed like some kind of cupid) and lets it fly. Axl is able to catch the first one with no problem.

Meanwhile, Mike, Anders and Ty have put the pieces together that Axl might be in some kind of trouble and run after him. Just as Michele lets the second arrow fly, Ty screams out to Axl, who is distracted and gets hit with the arrow through the hand and into the chest.

At the hospital, a nurse reveals that Axl is very lucky and will be fine. Though a piece of the arrow is now wedged in between Axl’s ribs. When shown the X-ray, it is Zeb (Hayden Frost), Axl’s best friend, that points out that it looks like a little heart. This means Axl now has two hearts and is the almighty Odin!

The brothers and Olaf visit Axl to share the good news that he is Odin, but with the good comes the bad. See, being Odin is not all that kickass. In fact, it is kind of a big deal. For all Norse gods everywhere to regain their full god powers, Odin must find his true love, Frigg. That doesn’t sound too difficult, right? Well, the other catch is … if Axl dies before he has completed his quest, then his whole family will die too! Talk about pressure.

The Almighty Johnsons airs Fridays at 10/9C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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