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'Dominion' recap: An angelic family reunion

Season 1 | Episode 4 | “The Flood” | Aired July 10, 2014

Previously: Claire took one for the team and agreed to marry William. Arika’s wife had her sister killed, spurring Arika to spy on her city of Helena for David. Michael revealed to Alex that he was the one who urged his father to abandon him to make him strong enough to be the Chosen One. And that was followed by a sword broken off in Michael’s gut.

Before we get started, it’s the portion of the recap I like to call “Shadiest Exchange of Last Week!” Devious David is trying to get Becca to agree that analyzing Michael’s genetic makeup could aid in their battle against the angels. Becca hates his ass.


That smirk! Senator Thorne giving all of us life with her shade-casting abilities!

But I digress. Alex rushes a punctured Michael into the ER. Is there ever a televisual moment set in an emergency room that doesn’t involve the patient’s loved ones being asked to leave so the staff can intubate or what have you? Seriously, TV creators. Doesn’t anyone just put their trust in the doctors and go to check out the vending machine and get the Wi-Fi password? Alex doesn’t have a lot of time to bug the medical staff because his fellow soldiers arrest him for going AWOL.

Alex is taken for processing to the dank Vega jail, and the prisoner before him is ordered to strip. Oh, oh, Alex has Chosen One tats ALL OVER HIS BOD. What to do? Headbutt the jailor and get your ass beat, of course. General Eddie and Devious Dave had better appreciate this. Did anyone else catch a glimpse of sequins in the background? It’s another TV cliche! How come there is always a damn drag queen in the police station lockup? They ALWAYS have to stick a drag queen in there. You know, all the drag queens I know are in no way … er, scratch that. I still haven’t gotten that lobster pot back from Rachel Tension. Shady bitch.

Dominion - Season 1Speaking of shady bitches (the good, loyal kind), Senator Becca Thorne lies sleeping across the body of her wounded lover Michael in the hospital. A mysterious intruder slinks in, lights up the tip of a black feather, and drips a liquid of unknown origin into Michael’s wound. It heals automatically! Later on, back at Michael’s orgy space needle, Becca and Michael are still sleeping, but in a nicer bed. The same intruder is revealed to be a blond angel lady with a rad double-edged blade. She’s here and she’s swiping that double-edged blade at the sleeping Becca’s head. Michael holds her off and blond angel lady, whom we come to find out is his sister and fellow archangel Uriel (Katrine De Candole), flies them out of the bedroom and into the night. They catch up on a nearby rooftop, and Uriel accuses Michael of hiding the Chosen One. She wants to talk! Presumably somewhere else, so she falls back into the night off the building and flies away. Two questions. One: Why so dramatic with that exit? You’re not going scuba diving. The second question is: Couldn’t she have done all of this back at the hospital after she healed him? Uriel creates a lot of work for herself.

It should also be noted that Michael and Becca have a convo about their relationship. Michael thinks she should find a good man. She wants a “great one,” meaning him. She loves him. He doesn’t seem to immediately respond the way she wishes. Even archangels have those awkward relationship probs.

Dominion - Season 1Claire and the jaundiced orphan (whom I really should refer to by her character name out of respect, seeing as this looks to be her last appearance on the show #spoileralert) have a visit at the hospital where Bixby is recovering from her angelic tummy-slashing. Bixby fills Claire in on Alex arriving with Michael last night, and his subsequent arrest. Unfortunately, instead of using his name, she keeps referring to Alex as “the Chosen One.” I know you’re a kid, but you WERE slashed by an enemy angel, so this would probably be a clue that it’s gotten real and to keep his status on the QT, sweetie. This little chat provides the impetus for the rest of the episode, because Senator Frost is a couple of beds over and hears the entire convo.

Cut to the bordello-lit political chamber. Senator Frost wants them to start looking for the Chosen One, because he knows he’s in town. David starts making tooth fairy jokes and basically humiliating him in front of the other politicos. Bad move,’cuz this is going to get you a slug in the hamstring later, smug a-hole.

There’s an archangel family reunion at Uriel’s place. She lives in some kind of museum dedicated to National Treasure starring Nicholas Cage. We learn that the Nordic-looking and -sounding Uriel has been out and about for 25 years, and no one knows where. My theory? She’s actually been with the missing God and is now acting on his behalf. The showrunners are being coy:

Gabriel denies Furiad shish-kabobbed Michael on his orders. Uriel sez that he can kill all the humans he wants, but Michael is off-limits. Remind me NOT to vote for her in the next archangel election. Gabriel thinks she’s come back to them because she’s chosen a side on the whole Chosen One issue. Nope, she’s Switzerland, but wouldn’t want to “doom” the humans. Didn’t she just tell Gabe to kill any wingless Americans he wanted? Uriel’s a little mercURIEL. See what I did there? Gabriel references Michael’s “colorful past” as a taxi dancer in Reno. He’s also just going to wait for Alex to come to him and see ya, I’m Audi.

Michael’s all nekkid-seeming in prison. The leaky pipes appear to be causing his angelic tats to wash off! That’s some shoddy tattoo work, God. He’s actually dreaming about burning trees, his markings and the phrase “She died for you.” Claire comes to visit, and Alex informs her that he’s not going to be hangin’ out with his family and friends anymore because his presence seems to get people hurt. Claire gets icy and asks him if he would just like to leave jaundiced orphan Bixby a note LIKE YOUR DAD DID?!? That’s cold, Claire. She Vega-princesses his release and drives off in her huff-mobile.

Noma is on Arika-watch, and that means you get a free psych consult and a bourbon. Just ask Ethan. Arika tells Noma she knows she’s hiding something. Noma isn’t about to give up her secrets, even to someone with such exquisite cheekbones and willingness to wear jewel tones during the day. Arika offers her a job in Helena. Noma asks why would she leave Vega. Arika asks her why she would stay. I don’t know, the city looks pretty clean, and that Jubilee party could be fun if portly flying squirrels aren’t killing everyone at the next one.

*sniffle* Alex goes to visit Bixby. He brings her Jell-O. *sniffle* Wait, is Jell-O some sort of symbolic foreshadowing of her death that I’m missing? No, it’s just Jell-O. *SOB*

Senator Frost calls General Edward and David Whele to a meeting in one of his irrigation towers. These big grass-encrusted monstrosities are responsible for all of Vega’s crops. If you were to perhaps lock some people you were currently hating on in one of the towers and flood it with 60,000 gallons of water, you would screw up Vega’s food supply and everyone would die. What better way to get the Chosen One to meet with you? Did you know that there’s an app for irrigation-tower hostage-taking? Kudos, Tim Cook. Senator Frost is of the opinion that General Eddie and Dave are keeping the Chosen One hidden from the people because that would mean they lose their power as heads of the city. Truth. Let’s face it, Dave is LOVIN’ that caste system.

Back at the barrack, Noma is telling Ethan about her encounter with Arika, and Ethan’s probably wondering why she didn’t offer HIS hot ass a job. Noma hints that he was probably intimidated by a beautiful, regal woman, and he’s all nervous so I guess he’s not out to her. That would be weird because it looks like in the angel-war future, people have finally realized that one’s place on the Kinsey scale means very little. What’s he so stressed about? Alex shows up and confesses to Ethan that he’s been seeing Princess Claire. And that’s when the Archangel Corps are deployed to handle that hostage situation.

Back in the red room, Becca is trying to rally the ruling body to vote on how to handle the hostage crisis. She appoints the oddly Wet Seal–dressed (for a princess) Claire as the HBIC while her daddy is being held at iPhone-point. She even gets to sit in the big chair! Claire also learns that her little Chosen one-klatch with Bixby was what started this whole mess. It’s OK to muzzle an orphan if it’s going to keep the populace from freaking, Claire.

In the Tower of Terror, David unwisely explains that Frost’s faith in the Chosen One is laughable, as is most faith in deities. Wait, wasn’t he a televangelist? Isn’t his son? I probably missed a line here or there (way to recap, J.), but I’m still getting over Giles with a peevish American accent. What? It’s distracting! To his credit, I almost buy Dave’s speech about how the “Chosen One” is actually the people of Vega. I said “almost” ‘cuz I know he’s feeding citizens to lions and murdering orphans … oops, uh, yeah, we’ll get to that.

Dominion - Season 1The soldiers gather outside. Ethan expresses disbelief that Senator Frost has snapped his tether because he’s guarded him before, he’s nice and his brownies are delicious. I’d like to be known as the first one to start shippin’ Ethan and Senator Frost (#butterscotchbrowniesforever). Claire shows up and has flatironed her hair to an intense degree. There must be some sort of Vega royal flatiron that one uses when they ascend to the throne. Her flat tresses reek of power! They’re going in!

Oh, and in future GIF news, Senator Frost shoots a trying-to-be-cagey-and-take-away-his-iPhone David in the leg. You can’t say he hasn’t had it coming. Also, he just mentioned to General Eddie how he should have offed “the little runt” like he did with the techs. Don’t worry—he circles back to that one.

Dominion - Season 1Back at Uriel’s, Michael and sis have a warm reunion in which there is a big hug and a promise that her spring-loaded-action double blade will be on his side when the s**t goes down. Uriel claims to miss their dad (the big G) so much, and there are salty tears of anguish. I don’t trust this Frozen refugee as far as I can throw her!

Alex enters the irrigation tower, doffs his Under Armour and tries to convince Frost that he’s the Chosen One. Frost thinks that the tattoos are a put-up job and isn’t buying it. And the water is rising! Alex thinks quick and goes, “She died for you.” Those were the magic words—something about Frost’s daughter dying before the war. OK, this time I was probably distracted by nipples. Men are pigs, and that includes gay guys. Frost turns off his app and bows down, and if you thought he wasn’t leaving the irrigation tower alive, you are the smartest Dominion fan in the room! General Eddie puts a bullet in his head. He also tells Alex to put his shirt on, so he’s definitely been moved over to the “villain” column. It was bad enough that he’s schtupping an 8-ball hooker.

Dominion - Season 1Claire finds a slightly traumatized Alex at a monument to himself. Her hair is so smooth, the ends could probably be used as a cutting tool. The lovers discuss Frost. Edward and David have spun it so that Frost died a hero, saving Vega’s crops. Was Frost right? Should the people know the Chosen One is here? Think about that, Alex, while Claire goes to return the royal flatiron to Edward. Which is so stupid, since HE’S not gonna use it! Michael flies in, and it’s decided that Alex is going to find out all about being the Chosen One and prepare for a training montage next week.

And how right was I? Uriel shows up at Gabriel’s place and has almost the exact same conversation she had with Michael. She pledges to be on his side. Hugs are exchanged and she grins. Evil angels. Evil angels with spring-action blades and miles of flaxen hair!

And in the “did he really do that?” ending, David shows up at the jaundiced orphan’s hospital room. She’s sleeping, and he’s killing. He overdoses her IV and shuts off her monitor as she flatlines. There is some guilt here. Her character aggravated me, but no one wants a small child to be murdered in her bed. Even if it’s a TV character. #GilesNoMore, huh?

Dominion, rated TV-MA, airs Thursdays at 9/8C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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