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'The Fosters' recap: Party like a Foster

Season 2 | Episode 3 | “Play” | Aired June 30, 2014

Like so many TV teens before them, the Foster siblings decide to take advantage of their parents being out of town and throw a (don’t worry, it’ll totally be low-key) party. Though the latest outing of The Fosters, “Play,” felt a bit like a stalling tactic to the overall narrative (am I just supposed to forget about that dead body, Stef?!), the party at la casa de Foster was still full of some of the things I love best about this show: teenagers acting like real teenagers, laugh-out-loud sibling moments, sassy Mariana and, oh yeah, the mane that can’t be tamed, Wyatt.

As with any good party, everyone had a little something going on; time for a Foster sibling check-in.

Brandon & Callie: Everyone’s favorite siblings-turned-make-out-buddies-turned-siblings are left in charge as Stef and Lena head out for the night on a much-needed babymoon. Brandon decides the empty house is a great place to practice with his new band, Someone’s Little Sister, in front of an audience. Seems like he still needs to prove to both himself and lead singer Lou that he really can leave classical music behind. Seems like bandmate Mat is still being extremely cute.

Brandon’s co-babysitter, Callie, isn’t thrilled with the idea, but Brandon doesn’t care. I like this new Brandon. He’s really taking the rock ‘n’ roll spirit to heart. Brandon and Callie have a great moment bickering about keeping partygoers out of the house; Brandon has never seen Callie be so anal and Callie’s never noticed how much of an ass Brandon can be. It’s fun to watch the two of them find their footing as brother and sister again.

wyattcallieWhile Callie hilariously tries to keep this party under control (threatening signs, furniture blockades, Wyatt the bouncer), Brandon is trying to get his band onstage. Lou is making this a little difficult due to 1) her fondness for being late and 2) her loathing for Brandon. But thanks to Callie’s little recap of how terrible Brandon’s life has been lately, Lou realizes she may have misjudged B.

Meanwhile, Brandon and cute Mat are left on stage, stranded. In a Hail Mary pass, B plays the only song he knows how to sing: “Outlaws.” That’s right, it’s the song he wrote for his onetime sister/lover, Callie. Lou joins Brandon onstage and they make some sweet, sweet music. Everyone quickly notices that, yeah, those two sound REAL GOOD together. Even Wyatt says it, so you know it’s true.

Honest sidebar: I found “Outlaws” a tad disturbing when it was being used as an anthem for Brandon and Callie’s illicit affair. In this episode, however, it had me in straight-up tears. To see Brandon and Callie moving on, or at least beginning to move on, was really quite momentous. Also, I’m a sap. Get over it.

Mariana: As we all know, Mariana dyed her beautiful brunette locks a bright blond to fit in with her dance team. It’s not really working, she’s still being left out. When Mariana catches wind that Brandon is having people over for band practice, she (in typical Mariana fashion) decides it’s time for the whole Foster family to throw down. Plus, it’ll be a good excuse to prove herself to the dance team.

Sadly, the night does not go as planned. First, Mariana gets schooled in the dance team’s “Code of Excellence”: no more than one drink, no dressing like a slut (their word, not mine), no hooking up with randos (their word, now mine) and absolutely NO performing patented dance-team moves while partying.

mariana2

Another honest sidebar: I have some bones to pick with this “Code of Excellence.” First of all, it’s called the “Code of Excellence,” which is lame and makes me want to not keep it just on principle. Second, hooking up with randos is what high school—and life—is all about. Finally, if I learn a kick-ass set of dance moves, do NOT tell me I can’t perform said moves in public. It’s against human nature.

Mariana’s teammates pretty much go about breaking every single rule of the Code anyway, and Mariana becomes a glorified team babysitter for the night. The cherry on top of all of this is cute Mat laying into Mariana about trying too hard to be like the girls on her dance team, girls she’ll never be like. Although I very much agree with Mat and know he means it as a compliment, dude needs to learn about timing. #makeoutalready

Jude: Can we just talk about how lovely and refreshing Jude is? It doesn’t matter if he’s gay or not, he refuses to give in to labels and he refuses to let someone else—in this case, Connor or Connor’s dad—be ashamed of him. This assuredness isn’t to say that Jude doesn’t still have some things to figure out. The awkwardness between Jude and Connor during their game of spin the bottle portends some confrontation down the line. These two will need to define their friendship very soon.

Jesus: I can’t with Jesus. He finds a “vulnerable” dance team member crying in the shed and they bond over their respective breakups (wait, what?). They talk about mascara and then proceed to have sex on a musty old shed couch. Both of them swear they’ve never done anything like this but really liked it, and maybe would like to see more of each other. Dear, sweet, bossy Emma: You deserve better.

In other family news:

  • The “biggest party crasher” award goes to the front-porch swing that flies through the window (thanks to some punk kids) and ends the party with a bang.
  • Stef and Lena’s babymoon forces them to finally confront some building tension in their relationship. Lena feels like she’s not being heard. Stef feels like she’s always to blame. They miss each other and promise to work on it. Also, Breakfast on Tiffany—that’s a thing.
  • Wyatt is both a terrible bouncer and a terrible glazer. He insists on fixing the window for the Foster sibs, but as soon as Stef and Lena return the next day, the new window comes crashing down. Busted!

So, do we think Callie and Brandon getting along as just siblings is going to last? Anyone else anticipating the day when Mariana finally tells off the dance team? And how do we think Jude is going to react when he finds out Callie has a half-sister—especially while he’s dealing with all the Connor stress?

The Fosters, rated TV-14, airs Mondays at 9/8 C on ABC Family.

 

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TV Families

TV Families — We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ”The Brady Bunch” to ”The Flintstones”

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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