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'General Hospital' recap: How to recapture a Cassadine

Season 51 | Episodes 59-63 | Aired June 23-27, 2014

Right now, a dream scenario would be to have scenes between Nina and Dr. Olbrecht. The two together would chew the paint off the scenery, and it would be completely amusing and delightful. Of course, this doesn’t mean we condone their antics. But they sure are fun to watch.

Most of the week was the Nina show, and the background behind her rapid descent into Heather-Webber Town. We don’t know what level of instability Nina had before her coma, but she is definitely off the rails now. Apparently she’s been awake and mobile long enough to have made a trip to Port Charles during Britt and Nikolas’ engagement-party debacle. Upon learning that Silas had moved on with Sam, she took a trip to his apartment and trashed it (and cardboard boxes) with a crowbar.

Now Nina is out for revenge. Her partner in cahoots, Rosalie (not really a nurse), gets to listen to her rant about those who have wronged her. The list includes Madeline (for drugging her), Silas (for cheating), Sam (for being “four and a half feet of pouty cleavage”), Ava (for being a whore), and Kiki (just for existing). First on her agenda is to take down Sam and Silas’ burgeoning relationship.

During Silas and Sam’s date, Nina calls Silas and cries that she has fallen and can’t get up. She tells Silas that Rosalie isn’t there and she needs him. Silas cuts short his date with Sam and hightails it home, where he finds Nina hilariously sprawled out on the living room floor. Rosalie returns from the Floating Rib and Silas starts to take her to task, but instead she goes off on him for gallivanting about town with Sam. Nina defends Silas, but Rosalie keeps going. Silas is completely snowed. But Sam, along with Alexis and Patrick, already has doubts about the damsel in distress.

Meanwhile, Dr. Olbrecht is kicking her plan to help Britt win Nikolas back into gear. She shows her daughter a PowerPoint presentation, complete with shirtless photos of Nikolas, frumpy Nurse Liz and a bikini-clad Britt. Britt is alternately horrified and amused by her muddah’s plan, until a photo of a gun shows up on the screen. Olbrecht clarifies that they need not kill Liz, but must neutralize her. Nikolas walks in and sees Liz’s image on the screen and wants to know what is going on. Britt defuses the situation by speaking up for Liz and demanding her mother rehire the fired nurse. Nikolas is grateful, and it seems as though Britt’s first seed toward reconciliation might be planted.

Bar-glass sellers everywhere are about to hit an unexpected recession. In light of Ava’s pregnancy, Sonny has opted to stop smashing barware and remove all liquor from his home after she taunts him by suggesting she have a drink. He’s determined to keep her healthy during her pregnancy so, you know, he can kill her afterward.

Carly is front and center for much of the Ava-Sonny showdown this week, which leads Franco to work up some jealousy over his flame being so close to her four-time ex-husband. Carly’s reassurances fall on deaf ears once Franco spies the exes hugging in the park. Franco tries to threaten Sonny with his knowledge of A.J.’s shooting, but Sonny basically laughs him off. Franco’s ego is bruised, so he hightails it to Michael’s office, telling him he has some important information to share.

Levi continues his mission to become the most grating character this week. Despite convincing Maxie that Nathan’s claims that Levi called the judge are baseless, we later see that he did exactly that. Next up on his agenda is trying to block ELQ’s revitalization project, under the guise of humanitarian work. He and Maxie charge into Bobbie’s old brownstone to demand that Morgan and Kiki stop what they are doing.  Because when Michael put Morgan in charge of the project, he apparently meant for Morgan to scrape the walls himself.

And we finally get some movement on the “who ran Patrick and Sabrina off the road” story, as Sam and Patrick delve into the investigation.  Once again, the PCPD is shown to be useless as Sam immediately zeroes in on some black paint on the guardrail at the crash scene. They head over to a local body shop, where Patrick tells the story of Gabriel’s death to get the worker to let them look at computer records. Sam spies something on the computer that makes her utter, “Oh my God.” Will it actually be the increasingly nervous Rafe’s name?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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