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'Rookie Blue' recap: It's fight night!

Season 5 | Episode 3 | “Heart Breakers, Money Makers” | Aired June 26, 2014

“To new beginnings,” Sam says to Andy on his first day back at work.

Now that all of 15’s injured cops are back on their feet, it’s time to get back to business. That means cracking open Operation Accountability. Inspector Jarvis* is at the precinct, informing the officers about their new scavenger hunt assignments. They will each be given a list of items that have been purchased with dirty money. Everything on the list is considered a product of a crime and is therefore subject to repossession by the police. It is imperative that the cops of 15 division bring in as much loot as possible, as all the divisions in the city are on the same mission and everything is a competition. To add an air of urgency, it’s fight night! So hurry up and seize as much as you can, then get back to the station to cheer on your rookie!

Dov and Gail are assigned to the house of a gang-affiliated drug trafficker. On their drive over, Gail is downright giddy on the phone with Holly, finalizing their plans for the evening. I gotta say, it’s pretty cute seeing Charlotte Sullivan play the smitten kitten. Then, in one of the funniest scenes to date on Rookie Blue, Gail explains to a horrified Dov that she isn’t going to fight night because she is taking the plunge and meeting Holly’s friends.

Dov: I can’t believe you aren’t going to fight night. How is Duncan going to feel when he looks into the crowd and doesn’t see your pale, pale face cheering him on?

Gail: Who is Duncan?
Dov: The new rookie.
Gail: Oh. I’ve been calling him Gerald.

As the conversation continues, we get the sense that Gail is nervous about meeting Holly’s friends. Dov doesn’t help matters by reminding her that she a) makes a terrible first impression and b) is hard to trust since she’s only been a lesbian for five minutes.

When they arrive at the house, two officers from 27 division are already there. And wouldn’t you know it, one of them is Wes, Chloe’s ex husband. Turns out he’s an ass. Surprise! The cops from 27 were there first, so Oliver tells Peck and Epstein to let them take the lead. Wes tells them to take the basement, relishing the fact that they’ll have to find a way to get the washer and dryer up the stairs. Little does he know there’s a safe in the basement, and Gail and Dov discover stacks of cash and credit cards. Wes tells them that 27 should get the cash since he’s in charge of the operation. Gail protests, since he assigned the basement to them, but Dov says fine, as long as they can keep the cards. Gail is pissed, but Dov is sure they are on to something much bigger.

Meanwhile, Andy, Nick and Duncan head over to see Geno Jones (guest star Benjamin Ayres), a man who made all his money running an illegal poker ring. When they arrive, Geno’s wife, Myrna, is at the house clearing out her stuff, since he is terrible and she is leaving him (who buys a piano and never plays it?!). Ordinarily a husband wouldn’t stick around for this, but Geno can’t leave because he’s on house arrest. The officers ask to see what’s in the basement, and Geno tells them there’s nothing. Duncan baits him, saying he has a terrible poker face (irony!), and Geno punches him in the face. Fight night came a little early for poor Duncan. Geno then takes off, ankle monitor be damned. They track him to a friend’s garage and arrest him.

Back at the station, Geno asks to call his lawyer. After the phone call, he is eager to confess. McNally senses something’s up (a lawyer who encouraged a confession over the phone?) and does a little digging. She discovers that he really called his friend Lee, who owns the garage. When Swarek calls the number back, Myrna answers and explains she’s being held captive and threatened by Lee because he is sure there is more money stashed somewhere and he wants to find it. If Geno doesn’t tell him where it is, he’ll hurt Myrna. Geno swears there is no other money. McNally and Swarek head to the house and discover Lee tied up, while Myrna searches the house. Her story was a fabrication, designed to get her husband to reveal his stash. Andy is sure that the reason he didn’t talk was because there was no hidden money. But then she goes to celebrate her own brilliance by playing the piano and discovers there’s actually cash hidden in it! (That answers that question.)

Dov and Gail bring their findings to Traci, who confirms that the gang in question has been linked to ATM scams. She traces the serial number on the safe and discovers that it was delivered to a warehouse. Lucky for them, it’s abandoned, so no warrant is needed to go check it out. They head over and begin surveying the warehouse. As Gail (adorably) goes on and on about how much Holly has changed her and how she thinks she is a better person now, they stumble directly into an active fraud factory. The bust is made, but Dov’s plan not to mention any of this to Oliver until they had something big completely backfires, as both Oliver and Jarvis are pissed at them for not following directions.

The good news is, everyone finished in time to make it to fight night. The bad news is, Duncan chickens out and decides he can’t fight. This leads to an epic Chris meltdown, complete with an assault on the liquor delivery guy. Thankfully, Chloe is there to help him pull himself together. I miss it. I miss being a rookie, Chris says to Chloe by way of explanation. Um, OK. Is this all there is for Diaz this season? I seriously hope not.

Gail shakes off her crappy day and heads to the Penny to meet Holly and her friends. I couldn’t tell what was going on with Gail here. Was she nervous? For someone who is so crazy about her girlfriend, she seemed rather standoffish when it came to her friends. Did she purposely pick a story that was terrifying and gory? (Though to be honest, I was relieved. I was terrified she was going to tell them about how she got kidnapped.) As soon as the friends get up for a minute, Gail relaxes, and we’re reminded how much she likes Holly. Which is why it was brutal when she overheard Holly’s friend describing her as not good enough for Holly. It was snobby and rude, and Holly said nothing to really defend the relationship. Though, to me, it sounded like Holly was just saying the quickest thing to get her friend to shut up. Gail is too insecure and uncomfortable with her vulnerability to recover from hearing such a conversation. So she pulls a Peck, gets nasty and leaves.

Gail makes it to fight night just in time to see who’s taking Duncan’s place. Nick! Nick gets in the ring, then promptly gets his butt whooped. At one point, in between rounds, he sees Andy and Swarek together, and I thought that was going to be the key to unlocking his inner rage. Nope. He got destroyed. Andy went back to see him and find out what happened, and he gave her a cryptic “Hell, at least I tried.” And while I appreciate using the fight as a metaphor for the fact that he got his ass kicked by McNally, it doesn’t really explain what happened. I also can’t really tell if Andy’s emotions are because she feels bad that she hurt him or because she still has feelings for him. I hope it’s the former.

Stay focused, McNally. To new beginnings.

Rookie Blue, rated TV-14, airs Thursdays at 9/8 C on ABC.


*Thank you to everyone who read last week’s recap and pointed out to me that Jarvis is the Inspector and not the much-higher-ranking Commissioner, who is also Duncan’s stepfather. Now that I’ve gotten that straight, maybe someone can explain that interaction between Duncan and Jarvis when Duncan lied about going out to have drinks with the guys. That conversation only made sense to me when I thought he was saving face in front of his stepfather. Now it just seems weird.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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