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'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' recap: Hoarder edition

Season 4 | Episode 3 | “Stockpile” | Aired June 26, 2014

200_s (4)“June, I think you’ve got a serious friggin’ problem here.” Sugar Bear finally said it.

June’s couponing has gotten out of control.  And the Thompsons are going to do something about it.

The Stockpile
The van is packed with toilet paper. So much toilet paper! The bundles tumble out when they open the trunk of their big mom van, so Alana tosses the bundles to Sugar Bear, who tosses them to June, who puts them in the house. I think this is the closest the Thompsons come to playing a sport in the whole show.

Alana reminds us why we love her with her attitude: “Let’s figure out where we’re gonna put all this crap, Mother!” They’re running out of room in the house, with all of June’s stacks of items that she’s gotten from couponing. The house looks more like an episode of Hoarders than Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

“I don’t think I’m a hoarder. If anything, I’m an organized hoarder,” June says. She refuses to admit she has a problem, which is just more proof that she has a hoarding problem. They sit her down for something of an intervention, but not much seems to be accomplished except for getting rid of a big black shelf.

200The plus side of June’s hoarding is the girls never get bored. They get the plastic wrap, wrap themselves up and play “Battle of the Seals” in the yard.

Then, softie Sugar Bear plans a date to show June she can still put her coupons to good use. How romantic!

First stop: the dry cleaner with a two for one special.  June admits couponing with Sugar Bear is embarrassing, because he’s such an amateur. She manages put up with him long enough to use their coupons at Wet Wet Cars, where she’s proud when Sugar Beat gets a free car wash followed by a two-for-one pizza dinner. Sugar Bear surprises June with a flower made of expired coupons as they enjoy their romantic meal at the countertop. Husbands take note: The way to your lady’s heart is through paper flowers, tear-out coupons and large, greasy pizzas.

 honey-boo-boo-209-03Bingo Face

“Bingo face runs in my family, and it’s not pretty … except when I do it.”  Alana says.  Her sisters have been squinting a lot, making the “Bingo face,” so they go to the eye doctor for a test.  Sure enough, both girls need glasses.

200 (1)They try on pair after pair.  June has a coupon, so Pumpkin and Jessica each get glasses. June says she doesn’t want the girls to go through what she did because she’s legally blind in one eye. Eye health is very important to the Thompsons.

Alana’s New Roommate

Big sister Anna moved out previously in the show, so now the rooms are being reconfigured, and the girls fight over who will sleep where.  Before, Pumpkin shared a room with Alana, and Jessica shared with Anna and baby Katelyn. Now,the girls are fighting over who gets to live by herself.

Jessica thinks she should get the room to herself because she’s now the oldest girl in the house. Pumpkin thinks she should get it because she can “hold down a gallon of water.” Besides, she already moved into the room in question, moved Jessica’s stuff out of it, and declared she has squatter’s rights. That is, until Alana enters the room with her sisters and says that she’s taking the room because she has the biggest personality.  Alana falls over laughing with what is sure to become one of her new catchphrases” “Three fatties enter, only one fatty stays.”

When June realizes what’s going on, she lays down the law in the form of a “niceness competition,” where whoever has the best behavior gets the room.

honey-boo-boo-exclusive-alana-lauryn-jessicaSeeing the girls competing to be “nice” is definitely a far cry from the normal behavior of seeing who can burp the loudest or spit the farthest. Jessica tells June she “looks so pretty today,” while Pumpkin and Jessica compliment each other back and forth: “Your belly button is like the deepest thing I’ve ever saw.” Awww, isn’t that sweet?

Finally, June sits her family down and says she has made her decision. After a knee drumroll by the girls and a loud train whistle, she announces that Uncle Poodle will be getting the room. Yes, they’ll be having a house guest for a while.

The girls seem so distracted by their uncle that they don’t even seem phased by the fact that all three will now be sharing one room.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, rated TV-14, airs Thursdays at 9/8C on TLC.

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